All Comments on 'Sycamore Hill Pt. 01'

Four pages of nothing that went nowhere. Four pages and there isn't the slightest clue of what's going on. 01 assumes 02, but I have no hope that will go anywhere either. I'm out.

Technically this is a well written story, but chasing Lara to remote area seems like epitome of high risk, low reward proposition. I could understand if Lara seemed worth the trouble but the author has done such a fine job describing her alternately patronizing and witholding behavior on both emotional plus carnal levels , it would seem the rich guy is doing the narrator a boon by stealing this cold fish .

I hope the cliff hanger conclusion to first installment reveals more. Thanks to justthejanitor for sharing.

the husband's decsion to welll just stop sycamore hill to have a chat with Mr williamson is truly pathetic story telling....

think about all the things she has done and said to the husband... and her defense of the rich guy. What did he was going to happen?... That the was going ro suddenly come to her senses?

very contrived crap

I k new it would be a good story. Enjoyed part 1 very much. Hope part 2 doesn`t let us down. At the moment, it seems a better story than most of the poorly written dross that passes for LW stories these days. Well done so far !!

Thanks for sharing.

At this point I'm not sure what to give this so I'll not vote until the whole thing has posted.

....like Sunday Morning Going Up, except its the Wives plotting? looks like it. I'll be so disappointed if I'm right.

weak husband+strong lover+cruel wife= typical wimp story 0*

The suspense is building nicely. The feeling of love dying is palpable. The fear of the set up is unnerving. Can't wait for more.

Interesting so far. I'm surprised by the harsh negativity.

I'm going to venture a wild guess that the wife is a lesbian, and her and rich boy's wife are attempting to frame the husband for his murder so they can have his money. I can't wait to see where it goes.

Cog

Is her affair not with Mr. Williamson but with MRS. Williamson?

Or is it both?

Faced with a punishing prenup for Danielle have the two women decided that doing away with Mr. Williamson and framing Lara's husband for it will allow them to keep all the goodies?

Your story is well written. It had great suspense, had moments that aptly described a woman's state of depression, and has the reader clamouring for more.

I cannot believe the stupidity level of some of the comments of people who demonstrate total ignorance of professing to know what good writing is, especially when compared to what they normally read on this site. Why so much negativity? Now, I would like to hear a psychologist explain what these people are thinking when they run down someone's work. Where is the pay off? Is there not a better payoff making someone feel good about what they are doing?

Just when I suspected predictability, you switched it up. Can't wait for next chapter.

This should really be posted in the Non-Erotic category. The only sex in it was gross and disgusting, not erotic. Examples:

"rubbing her crotch" - is not going to turn a woman on, sorry, maybe another fag.

"slowly humping myself into her" - is the image of that turning anyone on? Not me.

"A large, gelatinous glob rolled down between her cheeks, some of it dripping in long, translucent, filamentous strands to the bed below." Ewwww, totally gross. Reads like a line from a 1950s horror movie, not a sex story.

And then you have your lame protagonist say the most unbelievable thing in the story - "This was, without a doubt, the most overtly sexual display I'd ever seen" Yeah right, so sexual, NOT.

All of this "sex" was about a quarter of a page of a four page story, mostly telling us how sad and angry hubby was. Who cares? Just divorce her if you hate her so much. Or keep being weird and creepy and drive her to have an affair to have some sort of life. Good people just get divorced when the marriage doesn't work, before affairs start. Bad people write angry stories with violence bubbling barely below the surface and with no eroticism in them to post in the wrong category on an erotic story site. The webmasters should reject a story like this and advise you to post it in Non-Erotic. It's really sad because you have a flair for writing just no talent for writing erotica. One sad star for this one.

Certainly dome surprises here!! As others have commented, I think the wife has gone lesbian accounting for her coldness and indifference with the husband. But who is the partner in crime? Williamsons wife knew he was heading there and a likely candidate. Motive? Has to be money. Attempt to frame obvious. Please don't delay next episode. That is quite irritating when writers do that. Loses the pulse of the tale.

I refuse to read a four page Part One not knowing how many parts there are, or soon we will see them!

He went to a computer expert and then told the expert the password? He was insulted, mistreated, and degraded by the wife for months and he kept taking it, yet claimed to be a guy that always got revenge? He followed the wife he had no use for, and sneaked by a security guy (thinking that was safe and he would never be caught) and quickly found an unlocked door? There is a plot, but it could have been delivered in a page.

On another note, the bare chested one joined Lit in April and by June is an expert on all things involved in Lit, scoring, categories, how to improve it, etc. Lit is what it is. Readers get to spew and it allows them to feel better about many things, and it hurts no one. If writers don't like it, they can eliminate comments and/or voting. Are scores indicative of writing skills or the quality of the plot? Not usually. The really good stories make their way to the top over time. The really bad ones will sink with time. Ignore scores for the first few months after a story is posted. LW's top list includes some pretty good stories by some pretty good writers. To join a dysfunctional porn site and then try to alter in the first month it is hardly a worthwhile endeavor.

He was set up, the wife killed her husband because he discovered the affair so the two women set up one husband for the murder of the rich husband and will live happily ever after!

Been awhile since we've seen you here. Nice to have you back amongst the unruly mob here in LW. Oh yeh the story review, nearly forgot..... a little too early in the reveal to comment but seems to be going as good as can be.

Nice start. I am intrigued. Maybe a little confused but I'm sure that all will be revealed shortly. I am surprised at the score. Seeing some of the stuff that has gotten 4+ stars in the past, this should have easily gotten that. Can't wait for next chapter.

Been a while since you uploaded a tale.

This one has some jagged elements, particularly that the wife has known and been planning this for months and setting this all up without giving things up all that time. If it was a progressive affair with the wife or a 3rd party that she's now deep into, she wouldn't have fake emails going back numerous months. That's a lot of planning and a long period of acting.

That said, I'm definitely looking forward to the next installment(s)

Can't recall when or where, but I have tremendous de ja vu. If I am right, her affair is with the wife, who directed him to the trap.

Love your stories. This one has started out in a very intense fashion. I can feel Kevin's rage, pain, anger and now bewilderment as his live continues to move in a "What the f#$k" type direction.

I did not see that coming! Very well executed! I was prepared to write off this tale, as the main characters are so unlikable. But it turns out that they are unlikable for a reason!

I look forward to Chapter Two.

Very intriguing!

Good Job. I was.expecting a usual BTB then wham, a real plot. Terrific.

Eager to read the rest. @Nonethewiser - don't you hate it when you're 'That Guy'? The annoying, arrogant fuckstick in a serious men's conversation. The one who engages in urinary Olympics just in case anyone could possibly think you know something of consequence? Don't be that spoiler guy with your learned speculations. #ASSWAFFLE

I suspected something was up when she left the laptop. Can't wait for the next chapter. *****

Bring on Pt. 2!

All of this fighting about BTB vs RAAC and labeling cuck, sharers, watcher, swingers....it's fiction. Like any media, it's intended to elicit a reaction. The labels on the sections are meant to help you find appropriate stories, and their criteria are not enforced bit Lit, so why whine here? If you have a wife that loves you or someone else, whether it's physical or emotional, whether it's to your liking or not, she is a "loving wife." And so go the stories, like it or not. Some are romantic, some have gay or lesbian overtones, some tie their husbands lovers or exes up, and some wear panties. It's still a story, and the author chose LW. As soon as the story elicits an emotional response, it succeeds. I like JTJ and much as Shared Signe. So what?

To see how your version of "Strangers on a train" turns out and how our hero comes out ahead. I would be interested in who becomes his next Mrs and what part she plays.

Well written story. Expected nothing less when I saw your name. Looking forward to part 2. Different that's for sure. However, a previous commenter mentioned something about deja vu. Agree but this is a semi different twist. Well done. 5

This lead "male" character is so dumb that he must be from the prehistoric ages and live in a cave. I wonder if anyone checked his forehead to see it the word "Idiot" was tattooed there.

He broke the first rule of war, "never underestimate the enemy".

Why would any man go through all that shit with a crazy bitch, unless he was a little crazy himself. He used bad judgment marrying her in the first place. Mood swings are a sign of mental problems he knew she had before he married her. Perhaps his mother was not as nutty as his wife; or he was never aware of the shit his father went through being married to an unstable women. Now, his actions has written a check his ass can't cover.

Great story so far but we know the wife is fucking the other wife and maybe baldy locks . But still good ride please keep going and thank you for it

Disagree about the laptop. It was probably left on purpose as part of the frame. Only evidence on it will confirm affair with John and solidify Kevin's motive for murder.

I do wonder how the anal sex session fit in. Plan B to drive divorce if Kevin isn't killed or convicted?

Fun story to try to outguess author :)

....Laura has been in cahoots with wifey Danielle to do away with John and frame hubby for the deed.

Apparently her lesbian relationship with the now widow Danielle Williamson was well covered by a ploy to take out Williamson ridding Laura of hubby by setting him up and framing him. This would give them access to the money and the freedom to pursue their lesbian love. BUT, it didn't work as planned.

Boy, If I don't smell epic BTBs coming for both women and their hired gun, you're gonna become one of the most epic disappointments in LW history.

On the other hand, if you take it there, and there was never a more deserving scenario for completely scorched earth, you might become the SharedSigne-bomb we've been hoping for and an international hero, to boot.

Please continue, but try not to draw things out quite so much. The pacing you've elected so far doesn't offer anything important to the story and draws out the arrival of the key moments to such extent as to take much of the fun and nearly all the passion out of the experience. It leave one with the impression that hubby is as stupid as he is obstinate.....or you didn't do an adequate job of setting up the nature of their relationship, so as to dull what would be his more rational and normal suspicion much, much, much earlier on. That said, I'm intrigued, but slightly suspicious.

Please continue.....soon....and at a more sensible pace.

Let's wait and see where the author wants to drive us...For now all possibilities are open...3*

so far you don't even know the questions. TK U MLJ LV NV

Finally a worthy story to end this most shitty of shitty weeks in this genre for a while , Thanks JTJ , your like the cool rain that breaks the drought !

This is shaping up to be a wonderful series , so many ways for this story line to go , I can hardly wait for the next installment .

Did anyone else notice the spate of anonymous comments at the start of the comments section ? Looks like shared/caster's little band of deviants were up early to waylay anything non-deviant posted. Little shared/caster even posted on his story that he wasn't going to comment on any other's stories that were not of the deviant variety, damn , if you cannot trust your site killing trolls , who can you trust ???

5*'s

Even if it had finished at the end of the first page or two and gone no further, it would have been an interesting story to me. As Sugna said in an earlier comment, the description of a love between husband and wife dying was palpable and, as reader, I felt for the first-person husband.

I was also impressed by the way he was written as being very self-aware in his tendency to anger, and what this would mean for the action to follow.

And then came the twist at the end. I await Pt.02 with bated breath.

Lue

GOOD KEEPMAT IT. BURN THE BITCHES!!

Certainly stood us on our collective head. Thanks. Write more!

It sounds like Danielle phoned ahead to warn Lara and John that Kevin was on his way. It’s beginning to look like Danielle and Lara planned to kill John and frame Kevin.

can't wait for the rest. 5*

That's your opinion. This tale has just as much room here as the hotwife cuckold stories you prefer. You got the nerve to give this a one star rating. What's the difference of what you do compared to the others who give one star rating to cuckold tales. None. Well I just gave it a 5 star rating to not only offset yours, but because I found it to be interesting reading. I actually want to read the next chapter, unlike the crap that you prefer. You're a fucking flamer and need to be kicked off this site like that other bitch that moaned here daily.

Great way to o start a real thriller. I love your storyline and can't wait to see where you take the story. xoxoxoxo Annette

Being in the Loving Wives category, I started reading and soon felt like I was the psychiatrist and I was listening to a life story. I kept reading anyway and still that feeling didn't go away, only now I was picking up a "woe is me" vibe. Don't get me wrong, this was extremely well written as compared to most Literotica stories. Spelling great, grammar and sentence structure was great, making iit easily understood with an easy flow. But by the end of the first page, I didn't care about either of these characters enough to stick with it. That's all I can say since I didn't finish with the other 3 pages....it just didn't grab me with the limited psycho analysis sex on the first page.

2 stars

Don't wait too long for the next part. Keep the momentum of the story going. Good start.

And how did she know he would take the bait. No. One. Knows what a man would do in this situation. To many things would have come together to make this work. Wlliamson is dead . The body guard is in on it to. The wives too. To frame Him ?Seems implausible. How many more parts to this mystery.

It was running at a nice, sedate pace until the pedal was pushed to the floor and it suddenly accelerated away!

Nice surprise lead into the next chapter.

so he is set up for a killing. not bad, like the tale.

I may be unique or simply one of the many who figured the wife's affair was with the bosses wife and not the boss. This became clear when he drove to the bosses house and his wife met him. I became suspicious at the dinner party. Am I the only one who thought the anal sex scene was a way for the wife to charge her husband with rape? The rest of the story should reveal the extent of the rouse and hopefully why she hated her husband enough to want to frame him for murder.

Dear Nitro,

You say that you "felt like I was the psychiatrist and I was listening to a life story". That's your take on this story and your preference is apparently for stories which I would probably describe as more superficial.

Stories in the LW category which work through husbands' responses to wandering behaviour on the part of their wives will almost inevitably explore his emotional state if it is to have any depth to the story. I thought that the early part of JTJ's story did that quite well and, as I said in an earlier comment, showed the husband character to be quite well aware about his angry personality.

The stories in the LW category which simply show a wife committing adultery without any attempt to show the reason why, followed by a husband who simply responds in a Neanderthal manner are a dime a dozen on Literotica and I find them dull and boring.

As Crkcppr said about Sycamore Hill: "Finally a worthy story to end this most shitty of shitty weeks in this genre for a while."

So I respectfully disagree with your assessment of the story.

Lue

I'm sorry, every male MC this author writes is a fucking idiot. It's funny that I agree with the wife, she thinks her husband is a limp dicked little wimp. She is right. Also it's pretty obvious that she is having a lesbian affair with the other wife and they set it up to get rid of their husbands.

He has a cell phone and was recording as he entered the room. Aside from needing to avoid being shot once the shock wears off he has clear evidence that he is not the killer. Simple call a lawyer and then the police. It is obvious the security guard knows more than enough to have his wife imprisoned. The writing is good but this seems contrived and a plot hole you could drive a truck through.

I'm very interested in seeing how you finish this as you spent a great deal of time already spelling out Kevin's endgame. There's zero chance the women are going to get what they want with his recording, the stun gun probe marks in the wood, and the wound to his leg proving forensically he wasn't the killer. If you have idiot cops following the words of Lara and Danielle, it will be a complete letdown. Can't wait for part two. Keep writing.

Ignore the detractors, please continue.

Started good however it appears to be sliding into Mr Indecisve land like usual.

Hope Chapter 2 proves me incorrect.

Looking forward to part 2 which, I know, is already out.

Phil

Check this out. A sort of cliffhanger in the end. What the fuck were these two cheating assholes up too? I'll continue...

Five Stars

"but I didn't want to make a scene, especially with her boss" - How in the Hell is it "making a scene" if after a FEW numbers dancing with her boss you go over and POLITELY cut in?

"she was a little annoyed with me" - SHE'S annoyed with HIM? She ignores him while letting Williamson monopolize her on the dance floor, he should be annoyed at her!

"loudly accusing me of ruining things for her by leaving early," - Not that the drunken slut that she has become would accept it, but he should remind her that it was Williamson's wife who told him that he should go and take her home, and Williamson himself said that she should get going.

"I slept on the couch that night." - I've said this before, why should HE sleep on the couch? Let HER sleep on the couch!

"wondering just how far a man should go before he calls it quits on a marriage" - Well, I think he has to get his head out of his ASS first!

Nice twist at the end!

It's the two wives.

OMG zzzzzz I couldn't even finish this. You took WAY too long setting this up. There was absolutely nothing arousing about this. Definitely NOT erotic, zzzzx

3* Why does LW have most of the cliche characters? Can't dance.

Workaholic. Passive. Ignorant/Oblivious. Asshole wife who rips husband without husband retaliating in kind. Lara got it right when she called him a pussy fagot. Read one story where the husband went all BDSM on his lying cheating wife...very refreshing and innovative.

Your protagonist combined all negative features of a cuckolded/wimp!!! Whats funny at that crap???

Nuff said!

Where will this go now? Decently interesting, with totally irredeemable wife. But now the bad guy is dead, and we're left hanging. Hero is borderline tough guy, maybe. Need to see more.

But more importantly, completely unrealistic.

Part 2 gets worse. So if you read comments you can skip reading it. Wish I had been warned.

so far!

Gods this is terrible

Starsong is a tough audience who should not be reading something that upsets her. We nurses are fragile people, but I enjoyed this again.

SURE GLAD THERE IS A SECOND PART AND THE ENDING! 5 STARS SO FAR!

Got fizzy trying to keep up. Not my type of shit

jtwheels

way too many words before something happens. She shouldn't wear pantyhose to the party. Stockings for easier cunt access, LOL

so was bipolar not a thing when this took place? or maybe an unknown thing?

So far your main character is the dumbest idiot I've read about in a while.

Crazy wife and dumbass husband

I kept skipping parts to get on with it. So much bullshit thinking on the MC's part. He's a fucking idiot, without any balls. I hope part two is better, but not holding my breath.