by sassybrat80
I enjoyed the story and hope you keep writing, but in the first sentence I could not get over why "you" was in caps - for awhile I thought you might be a nun. Anyway, as I read further I enjoyed your style and think with more experience you'll be a fine writer. Keep up the good work.
I thoroughly enjoyed your tale and look forward to reading more of Sydney's progression. An enchanting beginning, thank you for sharing.
I enjoyed your story very much. I look forward to the growth of Sydney with her new Master. Keep up the good writing!
I'll go with this one and give a litle since it's your first.
You have a promising start, although your protagonist's automatic obedience to the man is stretching credibility a little. Perhaps a backstory explaining how easy controlled she is would be helpful.
Keep the "You" and "Me" lowercase in the future; it's a little distracting.
Take this as constructive only. Can't wait to see what your deviant imagination will unleash in future entries.
i am a fan of the claiming of sleeping beauty by anne rice. this cant compare to that but i think u are doing fine.
A good beginning. It caught my attention right away. I did wonder at her immediate acquiescence to a total stranger. Even I, though, was drawn to his gentle commanding demeanor.