by blackrandl1958
But this way works too. And it was pretty damn funny to boot! For a quick hitter, this was very well played. Did I detect some of HDK's humor in this? Thanks for the entertainment and I look forward to the event.
5 stars
Nothing but the good stuff and none of the shit we usually see. Funny as hell too.
I wonder if some of HDK’s sense of humor snuck its way into this one?
The cheating slut Rachael has delusions of grandeur. How can she have had sex with Marci while Allen just played with himself. Then turn the slut act on by offering another slut, the well used Marci, as compensation for being found out. A tremendous little cheating slut tale.
Awesome.
I love stories of a downtrodden man just snapping and saying "fuck it" and rising up to reclaim his manhood. You packed a lot into this flash story and it was very entertaining!
Looking forward to the event.
It's two AM on a Monday morning and I'm laughing so hard, there are tears in my eyes. Well done, Randi!
Hilarious, Randi. Some sentences reminded me of HDK. Maybe you two should collaborate for a few stories.
Loved the story.Very short compared to your usual style but still quite entertaining.Loved the humor.5 stars
I enjoyed the Charles to Chuck thing, as well as the rhetorical and non-rhetorical questions. Thanks. I look forward to the "fifty ways to love your liver" event! As always, this was very well written.
This is why you are the queen. You have the ability to do any story, from great comedy to great romance to great action. I am looking forward to the event and another story from you, your Majesty.
You are so good at writing dialogue. Funny, smart, perfect length for what is was. Thanks, Randi. It's always a good day when you post a story. I respect so much the way you handle yourself, just staying clear of the morons, doing your thing and never letting it get you down. RPL
she showed absolutely no reaction to the death threat! Did she think he was kidding? Even so she should have said something about that.
If this is the preview piece, I can't wait for the event.
Thanks for sharing your talent.
Hooked
i love when cheaters don t prosper
i like chuck and i love how he handled himself and the situation
no self pity no depression no rage just a confident no nonsense smart man
chuck is the perfect spokesman for the cheated upon husbands
5* 10000 hardons and a small orgasm
Excellent! I've said many times, why do these wives think that just because hubby doesn't fight over things that he doesn't care about, that he won't fight at all?
If being, in her own words, the perfect husband didn't even earn him loyalty, why keep up the facade?
Excellent.
I agree with Steve. As I was reading this, I was reminded of several of HDK's tongue in cheek stories. Very well done. Thanks for the story.
Nice! Loved how Chuck remained calm and in control throughout. His simple answers, without explanation, did a great job of dictating the tone and flow of the story. Chuck only made one mistake: upon returning from golf, he should have revved the hemi several times so she’d have to hear it, then walked in wearing a huge grin but saying nothing. When she angrily demanded to know why he was so happy, he’d say something like: ‘I’m very happy with my Cherokee’.
of an old Harddaysknite story. Or maybe one by JPB, I'm not sure. But reading it feels like deja-vu. The writing style is definitely more HDK,.
a nice sly reference to 'Ghostbusters': 'There is no Dana, only Zuul!'.
Fun story, though as a two-time Prius owner, I must object to Chuck's reckless abandon.
Completely Brilliant!
The dialog is perfect. Great humor and an awesome story to kick off a new week. Keep 'em coming. Your talent needs to be displayed as often as possible.
And from a male perspective (something I can't do). Loved it 5* worth!
A twosome with Lilly works for me.
As does everything else
in this fine flash story.
Top ratings from me.
Best I've seen for a while. Written with a wonderful sense of humor. Thank you!
There is no Charles, only Chuck. There is no Dana, only Zool. Great story - put a huge smile in my ugly countenance this morning!
One technical observation, given the age of the son is likely in his mid 20s or so based on being with a client, Chuck's age should be later in his 40s,41 might be too young:)
A cascading series of steps away until she is gone. The destination was clear early on, but the journey was all it could be. Thank you.
But is being cheated on a good reason for behaving like a tedious juvenile prick?
No, it's a good reason to grow up-fast.
You've got a gift for comedy, so let it out in more of your stories. ;-)
For those too young to get the joke, the 50 ways come from a Paul Simon song from about 1975. I was going through a sad breakup then myself (she decided that she wanted out), so the song was both timely and poignant. My mind goes back to those days whenever I hear it. (Yes the complete track is available on YouTube.)
Thanks, Randi -- looking forward to the main event!
Your wordsmithing puts the reader there, as if he were witnessing it, unseen...
You just have to love the cockiness of the character no longer in the dark.
My wife would probably say that it resembles me...that is if I still had her...
This series gives a lot of regular readers something to look forward to...
Absolutely great little story. I loved it, but seems Rachel survived. What became of Allen and Marci Baker? This was a whole new direction for you and you nailed it.
Randi! Since when do you write
comedy? That was short, brillant
and hilarious. Loved it. Merci.
LeFrog
As always Randi writes incredible stories. My only complaint is it was too short. Too many bad authors on this site. When I see something from Randi I can't wait to read it
I loved the way you had 'Chuck' detail their endings.... WITHOUT GOING INTO DETAIL!.. First Class! Thank You 5***** Yet another great story from the MASTER!
Don't care if brief
But punishment described
Might be a new one I haven't thought of or one of my really extreme ones
of course I enjoyed this, but didn't get one part. so was this just an idle taunt
"Allen and Marci die tomorrow. I'm waiting until next Wednesday for you."?
seeing as he ended up divorcing her
i'm a little shocked the cheating slut didn't consider he was serious about having her and her lovers taken outta commission.
she's so selfish, i'd imagine living would be pretty high on her totem pole. i mean, he did have her reeling. she was in stupid mode. she couldn't fathom her new position. she went from dominant wife that talked down to her husband, and beloved person....into trash. just trash. something ignored on purpose and disregarded.
i still do wonder if he had all three of them 'whacked' after the divorce.
Right off the bat, Blackrandi puts pressure on the rest of us. I can see I'm going to have to up my game. I'm almost done with my story and I know some of the other writers are as well. I always enjoy these events, mainly because I get to read my favorite writers.
Thanks for this, Blackrandi, of course now you have to outdo yourself for June 8th.
Oh, of course, 5*s.
Loved having him trade in the wimpy Prius for the SRT Trackhawk!
Loved it and run out of superlatives. Humour was really good, and yes a little HDK like but nothing wrong with that (have to be careful or I'll get told off again) as you are both excellent authors. Looking forward to the event and thank you.
I really enjoyed your story. the style reminded me of the stories SSO6 used to write back in the day.
Maybe you should have said “Just take out the trash, FLASH” or “Don’t give a fuck, Chuck,” as a part of the epilogue. Just a thought...
I really loved the story and how he kept her off balance to stop the generic cheater phrases. 5* from me!
Delightful ending for our wronged spouse.. i lime the “only Chuck now”. Like a horror thriller where a body is taken over.. or Chuck Norris
What's with the 50 questions from readers? Reread it!
I love a man who sees a problem and takes quick, decisive care of it. Great stoy.
Nice story. The HDK flavour is very apparent and who would argue with that?
I wish EVERY author in LW would be required to read this beautifully crafted, short and to-the-point story.
Hopefully, the others in this special event will be somewhere in the same neighborhood as the standard you've set with this kick-off!
BRILLIANT.
Dialogue style reminded me very much of "The Cage" by whatdreamsmaycome, also a very accomplished female writer, supposedly. I don't think they verify all the details of an author's biography.
Anyway, really enjoyed the badinage between injured hubby and the whore wife. Would love to see how Rachel responds when her ex shows up at family events with his new wife, her younger sister. That would be sweet to contemplate.
Thanks for the effort.
Every one of your stories are a terrific read.
I must confess, I intended to leave your 'Highway' story as the very last one I read from that excellent event. So many superb submissions in that one. However, the length of many of those works wore me down a bit. I needed a break, and have been spending time reading short submissions since.
I promise (lol), I'll get back to it very soon and I'm sure it will be up to your usual standard.
Your story is even still open, as another tab on my browser, just waiting for me.
Never stop writing, and never lose your perspective. You bestow upon us mere literary consumers, much grace and honor.
Maybe this was all said with a bit of tongue in cheek, but I still pretty much mean it.
Cheers.
Made for a great lunch time chuckle sort of read.
Snickeringly well done! 😂😂😂😂😂
A new tag for thous stories KILL
Whats why i give only 1* for a otherwise good story.
This story is a nice change from the typical "I'm a nice guy" over-the-top angst. Burn the cheaters a bit and move on into the future.
It would have been nice to hear about that. And it's obvious he didn't have her killed
I guess that's the only downside to this story. Chuck's my kinda guy.
5***** for 'Chuck's' sassy dialogue but I wonder how the Prius' air bag event went. I hope Rachael got some too! The Prius is a sad event in motor vehicle evolution. For the sake of immediate gratification on fuel economy misguided and ignorant car buyers are purchasing future pollution in the name of 'eco -friendly' vehicles which still burns gasoline and creates pollution! It's a pity these 'tree-huggers' won't be around when all the materials used to construct and manufacture these silly cars decompose t1⁄2 into the Earth, ground water and oceans in years to come, and don't hope that anyone will find a way to 'recycle' this heaving pile of molecular poison, I for one am not convinced.
I don't think there was a single sentence in that lovely little piece that I didn't enjoy the hell out of. Succinct and stylish all the way through.
Well done, ma'am. 5*
And more. Your impeccable writing style, joined with manifestly evident story-telling gifts make for an entertaining experience. Reading your work is akin to taking a graduate writing clinic. Many thanks!
would be an excellent short term memory. TK U MLJ LV NV
Wow, I loved that line. Liked the whole story, gave you a 5 to encourage you to do better. If you can I will give you a 6 star rating. Good flow, as always and it's good to have you on here writing again. Thanks for sharing your talent and your stories. Last time I gave you a really good rating and comment someone disagreed and emailed me that I needed to put my teeth in so I could understand what was going on better. Who knew that was the key to understanding?
pappy
Ghostbusters would be proud!
Thanks for a great read!
Unfortunately, the succinct nature of this perfectly written story meant that it was over much too soon. And I was loving every word of it. We can only hope BR58 is now working on their next masterpiece.
Keep 'em comin'.
Too much fun to be so short. This one could have gone on and on. Loved it.
Genius!! I’m mainstream published and am humbled by writing like this. My wife prefers I stick to romance and mystery. She’s not a big fan of erotic literature and cheating, but I read this out loud to her and we were both rolling on the floor with tears of laughter. It’s a 5 and nothing less.
Aw! I wanted to hear about Marci & Allen actually dying! That would have shook the bitch up!
Amusing as hell, if not very plausible. While I'm sure he didn't really want his wife to cheat on him, it sounds like he got the better end of the deal afterward, so there is that, at least. Usually the guys in these stories end up crying in the beer, or just being a willing cuck while they lament their unfailingly tiny penis as a 'bigger man' pleases the woman he supposedly still loves. Kudos, if nothing else, for it not being one of those stories.
Not sure how I missed this one. The Queen of Literotica shows why. From heart tugging emotion to unmatched action scenes and now comedy. All the entertainment you give us, but what I like the most is the class, never getting involved in the weird shit that goes on, staying classy. Five stars.