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All Comments on 'Taken By Fire: Ignited Ch. 01'
by ravenwings
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- 4 Comments
WildFireCowgirlabout 11 years agoBad Grammar
I really could not understand this piece. At all.
After the first few sentences I realized you didn't make a distinction between characters. You switch from "she looks at me" to "Amber looks at Lilly" to "Amber looked at Lilly" and it confused me.
I couldn't finish.
With the help of an editor, this might be better.
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