by Shaima32
The dialogue is too dull and detailed. I'm still reading though!
I'd love to read a book-length work of yours some day.
There's a really pleasant "fullness" to your writing, it's like eating a home-cooked meal, and while dessert is still to come later in the evening, these appetizers and the conversation let you know it's worth the wait.
I'm not denigrating your writing (which is excellent as always) or the plot-line but this chapter was a bit short and lacking depth for my taste. It reads almost as if you were in a hurry to get the part submitted and so chopped it off before you were quite ready. Whatever, I'm still looking forward to part 3 because all of your stories to date have been first-rate.
Great story line so far.
I dont feel it is to rushed just yet. Although if you do slow the pace it will mean more for us to read!
As alway though I'm happily at the mercy of the authors choice.
Your previous submissions have always impressed and i see no reason to expect anything less than yet again.
xo
Love the whole story, I don't mind the lack of sex at all. I just wait and see. Keep up the (very) good work.