Tales from the Guilds Ch. 04

In the end a modified version of the traditional burglars' ensemble evolved. Crepe-soled canvas shoes led up through tight-legged grey flannel trousers, a grey roll-neck sweater and were topped by a matching flat cap—with requisite mask, of course. When he drew himself up to his full height¹⁶ and lifted his chin imperiously, one could not doubt that the ancient Sto Kennet lineage still shown through its youngest member, no matter how financially embarrassed he might be at the time.

¹⁶Which wasn't all that much though he was taller than a dwarf—and clean-shaven.

"Coo," Taffy breathed, "ain't 'e the 'andsome one! An' romantic? Why, any dreamy young laidy ort to swoon in 'er bood-wire over th' thought o' bein' seduced by such a fine rogue."

Mrs. Palm waggled her eyebrows in agreement. "He'll be the hit of the social season once he has a bit of brass under his belt. It's not just the young ones who'll be panting over him. Their mothers will be setting new heights of scheming at the thought of acquiring the equivalent of an urban highwayman for the family. But first he has to nail the swag."

And so 'nailing the swag' began. Several years under Miss Band's tutelage had turned the roofs and fence tops of Ankh into Cedric's highway. Though his Guild card would have been shield enough against interference from the Watch, young Sto Kennet just preferred avoiding the streets. It was more in keeping with his new profession, he thought, as he leapt, scrambled and swung his way across the city. Hopefully in the future he would simply arrive at an appointed time, politely greet the designated 'victim', remove an agreed upon value of loot and glamorously depart. Doing so via the rooftops would simply add to the 'experience'.

Tonight, though, the Guild card would mean nothing once he arrived at the Lavish residence. All the neighbors had their doors emblazoned with the Guild's emblem showing any licensed thief that it was off limits. However, despite the Guild's most violent efforts there were always those who thought that joining the Guild was an unnecessary expense so large dogs and 'Disproportionate Response' signs dotted the neighborhood and the Lavish's would doubtless have more than their share. Dogs he could deal with, courtesy of the Guild's resident alchemist. Bodyguards, especially troll bodyguards, were a different matter entirely. For them only stealth would do. Fortunately, it was a warm night.¹⁷ The last thing Cedric needed was trying to talk his way out of an encounter with one of Chrysoprase's henchtrolls from the Breccia¹⁸. They had a tendency to hit now and forget if there were any questions to ask.

¹⁷Trolls being a silicon based life form work best at low temperatures. Sgt. Detritus even has a heat radiating, clockwork fan cooled helmet to assist his thinking when the days get above chilly.

¹⁸Now officially renamed the Guild of Bodyguards, Bouncers and Last Resort Lenders

Both from a distance and from up on the roof, the Lavish mansion seemed dark and asleep. Unable to detect any sign of movement within, Cedric shinnied down a drain pipe and dropped behind the rhododendron screen. As expected, there was the abandoned coal chute, still untouched after all those years. He wondered about that. Either the household staff was deliberately oblivious about something that, if brought to the master's attention, might require expensive modification¹⁹ or no one in the household even noticed that it existed. Either way, things were going in Cedric's favor.

¹⁹And Aurumfer's wrath since the man was notorious about not spending money on anything but himself.

Opening his satchel, Cedric withdrew a light coverall and overshoes. He put them on to slide down the chute but left them at the bottom. One must never embarrass the homeowner with a shoddy or unkempt appearance, nor break and enter with undue mess. In this way, he thought, the difference between the Thieves' and the Assassins' Code of Conduct was less than one might imagine—at least for the Gentleman Burglar and Jewel Thief. He slowly cracked the door to the chute, made sure 'the coast was clear' and slipped down into the familiar confines of the basement.

Once his feet were on the floor, Cedric doffed the coverall, stuffed it back into the satchel, straightened up a bit, and then using the imp-light made his way to the stairs and up out of the basement. Ghosting through the dark house, he saw that the Beggars' and Locksmiths' Guild representatives had it right. Even though it was eight years since last he had been inside, little had changed. It was as though even the old family furniture had been turned over to the new tenant possibly because his mother had owed so much back rent that the Beggars' had seized it as payment in arrears. Swamp dragons had much to answer for, he thought.

Arriving at the old office, he looked up and saw that the full-length portrait of his mother had been replaced by an allegory by Sir Aloysius Tintling entitled "The Spirit of the Acquisition of Wealth". Cedric sniffed to himself. Aurumfer was a true Lavish. He silently pressed the hidden catch and pulled the picture away from the wall. Just as he remembered, there was recessed door of a combination safe mounted in the wall. Pulling a stethoscope from his satchel, Cedric put it in his ears and listened to the tumblers as he tried the combination he knew so well. Sure enough, at each point on the dial tumblers fell into place. Aurumfer's sloth and greed were to be his undoing as the safe door clicked and came open with the turn of the lever.

Cedric carefully removed and emptied each box into his 'swag' before carefully closing and returning them. After all, that was the difference between a professional burglar/jewel thief and a common housebreaker. It didn't do to leave the premises in a mess. Neatness and gentility were the mark of the gentleman and Cedric was, by birth and training, a gentleman—even as he removed a fortune in jewelry from the Lavish family hoard, or at least as much of the family hoard as Aurumfer had been able wrench from the clutches of the rest of the family.

Once all the boxes were empty and replaced (in exactly the same position) in the safe, Cedric carefully closed the door, turned the lever to throw the bolts and carefully turned the dial to the exact position it had been in when he arrived. He swung the picture back in position and left the house the same way he'd arrived. He wasn't sure but he suspected that there was enough value in the jewels he carried to buy the house from the Beggars' Guild and move back in! The thought only appealed for a second or two. Too many painful memories inhabited the place for him to return.

*****

Opal was quite possibly the most beautiful troll Cedric had ever seen. Oh, she was still the same Paleolithic fertility goddess shape of most troll women, but as her name indicated, she glittered with an iridescence and fleeting shift of color that entranced anyone, human or troll, who saw her. She was also a high ranking member of the Guild of Gold, Silver and Gem Workers and the stolen jewelry buyer most trusted by the Thieves. She was a good fence.²⁰

²⁰And a good neighbor.

Gently licking each stone as she went through Cedric's swag, she took each from its setting and divided them into genuine and paste. There weren't a lot of the latter. Once the hoard was laid out and classified she tapped her lips gently.

"Well," Opal began, "I would say dat what youse has here is prob'ly wort' at da wholesale lebel about fibty-fibe t'ousan' dollar. Takin' out der Guild Tax, dat leabes some twenny-seben t'ou. A nice haul, milord Cedric, bery nice, indeed.

A nice haul, for certain, Cedric thought. With that much money in the bank earning interest he was a modestly independent gentleman of leisure. With his Guild membership share of those dividends sensible citizens paid for security, it came out to a bit over a hundred dollars each month. That was enough for him to dress well, eat well (though moderately!) and stroll the streets of AM with the proprietary air of a true aristocrat. One thing he knew for certain would not be coming out of that income was so much as a farthing for swamp dragons! Why, there might even be enough to allow him to investigate the possibilities of feminine companionship.

As though she might have been reading his mind, Mrs. Palm moved close to Cedric and patted him familiarly on the butt. "Really a nice haul, young milord. I believe a celebration is in order. Come down to my house tonight; one of my girls will be most eager to make your acquaintance."