by shinheat
To say it is immature, is to do to much justice to it. I realize for some this is brave new world, but in reality it is what most kids do growing up.
This "writer" apparently never made it through 3rd grade because the whole structure of the "story" reads like an attempt by a 2nd grader.
I really liked this story and the story theme. Hope you have a second chapter like ASAP. Don'tlisten to the negative anon folks. I think you are a good author and will improve if you keep trying inspite of the nasty comments by junk heads.
Don't listen to the negative folks! Your story is hot, hot, hot. Keep it going for those of us who can't want for it to be continued !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
What a fraud, but such an obvious fraud who can't help himself from reading everything in this genre.
ryeandgingerayle2@yahoo.ca