by ozzietosser
This chapter was sort of disconnected from the other two. It was a let down in a sense. I was expecting it to flow and be connected like the others had been, but this seemed as if it was a story on its own. Don't get me wrong, the story is good, but to be chapter 3 of a story, it felt out of place. I am not trying to be demeaning or anything, but that is the way it comes across to me. Please keep writing for it is a good story in itself.
While I somewhat agree with the first commenter, in the fact that t think with the way you ended chapter 2, this should have gone beyond jerking off. That being said I did enjoy it and think the next chapter will be much better.
I hoping to hear about Brendan and Jay gay sex. Plus weekend sex with Jay and Nathan and other players including new player from the bus. Should be easy to seduce.
Disappointing. You took two runs at the first two chapters and then finally with the third chapter, it was a flashback and not a continuation. Then the story is dropped again and abandoned. Not cool at all.