All Comments on 'Tease to Please Ch. 09'

Love this series, good rendering too.

Enjoying your episodes very much. If your renders help feed your muse, by all means share them. Anyone that doesn't want to spoil the image they had in their own mind can avoid the renders. Personally, I think you did a great job with your 3D art. Can't wait for installment 10.

You are so good, the stories are just fantastic!! I really like this chapter and I think you have outdone yourself, again! I am very happy that unlike a lot of stories on the internet dealing with similar themes, you have kept it subtle and not given into run of the mill over the top nudity!! bravo! This is your strength and I am sure it will only add to a rapidly growing fan base.

As with chapter 5 of “Tease to Please” (especially the final scene) I cannot help but wonder again, reading the beginning of chapter 9, if the author has once more (slightly) lost her grip on the characters (especially the heroine, Elise) or even the general underlying motivation and direction of the narrative at hand. I mean, don’t you also think that Elise comes across (once more) as “too assertive,” so that her not even seemingly innocuous but wholeheartedly peremptory stance towards Arthur and his colleagues, to use the author’s own evaluative words, “foreclosed the tension” that is most thrilling about “Tease to Please” in the first place?

Granted, with the aid of a little mnemonic reprimand on Arthur’s part the situation didn’t escalate completely, but what then was the point of Elise’s “assertive” morning regime, inordinate flirting (“So use me a lot, okay?”), penis peeping and so on? I for one don’t know what to make of this re-assertive, re-aggressive Elise after just a night of sleep from the aborted consequence administrations the evening before. Speaking of consequences: what’s up with Dr. Yamamoto not touching with one word or gesture the almost logically necessary “repercussions” of Arthur’s (and by extension Elise’s) insanity charge? A kind of narrative blank filled with some rather bland and precipitant action in and out of a limousine, low on teasing and pleasing (as well as character development, especially on part of Elise who is nothing but limber limbs in a limousine, and with Alex’s ardent remarks, though cheerful, forming no exception).

And then comes the big moment of the presentation meeting, and again Elise takes a wholeheartedly peremptory stance, this time on her role in and right of a “demonstration” of PVA tissue to the dubiously important “investors and potential buyers.” This setup would have lent itself perfectly well for a pleasingly entertaining verbal exchange or, more neatly expressed in German, “Schlagabtausch” involving all parties presently involved in the narrative. Instead I read some rather less inspired and substantiated verbal to and fro between Elise and Arthur and some show-less telling of the outcome which comes out rather unsurprising and underwhelming (a “boilerplate” for human experimentation or what? And in addition: What’s the persuasiveness of, if everything goes well, a single solitary successful “PVA tissue implantation” if the prospective investors must be actually interested in high success-rates and low associated costs of doing hundreds and thousands of such implantations? Wouldn’t the edited and visualized results of the tests “on roughly a hundred volunteers” that Arthur mentions almost maliciously en passant near the end of the present chapter thus be incomparably more persuasive to the prospective investors’ interests?).

Anyway, in the end the present chapter seems to be, at least to my mind, on the whole one big aversion – an aversion of what lies at heart of “Tease to Please” and makes it stand out from the Lit crowd (at its best moments). This aversion becomes literally evident at the end of the present chapter where the author abruptly ends the narrative mid-action, mid-day, a chapter close never before encountered in the series and a token of the author’s recoil from the narrative’s heart and beat. Somehow the beat simply seems askew in chapter 9, for our heroine acts rather out of character, gets de facto nude but without noteworthy teasing (and even less pleasing), great narrative opportunities present themselves but get not taken by the author who instead overplays underwhelming ‘action’ (shoe shopping anyone?) and thereafter withholds a genuine story high point (the 3D render, published beforehand, doesn’t count), in a word: aversion.

Thus the present chapter 9 is, at least to my mind, clearly the weakest since the first draft of (by now excellently revised) chapter 7. I’m not sure if it were advisable to revise the present chapter or more expedient to simply check it off as a rather uneventful plot stretch to set the stage for an imminent beat explosion, to pick up my metaphorical talk about the story at hand from the paragraph above, i.e. concentrating and bringing-to-the-fore what got somewhat lost in the present chapter: thrilling and tense teasing (instead of superficial, uninvolved denuding), world-rich characterization (instead of world-less stasis and even contra-characterization), tight plotting (instead of uninspired, uneven telling-down), and a narrative high point that really makes it worthwhile for the reader to read the next chapter (frankly, I didn’t really feel that to be the case with the present chapter).

Evidently, I make no pretence of my apprehensions about the narrative’s current direction, on the formal plot level as well as the content or ‘literary’ level, but I firmly believe that the author of the impressive “A Doctor’s Dream” series is going to make appropriate corrections where corrections are (over-)due. I’m keen to read on!

Thanks for reading and (maybe) considering my, alas, rather critical remarks,

Auden James

I have read all the parts several times over and I love them and will continue to do so like your other fans. I don't think Elise was overly assertive in this chapter, the limo episode is proof. One could think of her as a young girl who sometimes comes across as assertive to the readers, but still is naive, gullible and vulnerable deep inside. I would not want Elise to be a portrayed as a bimbo. Elise will go out of her way to be appreciated by the people at the lab. how is that in anyway overly assertive? And I also don't think the name of the series "tease to please" in any way specifies who's to be the tease and who's to be pleased! Elise does not have to be the tease always, its perfectly okay for the plot if she is on the receiving end of the teasing and/or the pleasing. You have maintained a good balance in his regard. This in no way, according to me, weakens the plot or deviates from the central theme.

These are genuinely good stories and stand out on literotica or any website for that matter. I think you pay enough attention to reader comments and have given an excellent direction to the story. It is perfect with its little "imperfections"! Let your imagination flow and keep writing!

Hi Inkyscandal, you are my most favorite author on Lit. I really appreciate that you invest a lot of time and effort into your work and that I am confident will go a long way in winning you a huge following. Not a lot of writers do that anymore.

I thought that chapter 8 was bit light on the public exposure theme which some of the readers did point out. 9 did have a lot exposure (in the Limo) but may be in the future you could create some more public scenarios. Also, I like how you almost teased the readers when the men in the limo were about to touch her down there but decided it was going too far and they should stop! Way to tease us man! It is great you have not let every man in the lab use her as they please, everyone is still pretending to be decent and playful. Can you give us a teaser for what coming up next?

I love the ardor of these comments! I am indebted to you all for granting me a view into how my stories affect their audience. Indeed, how else am I to grow and improve as a writer? I am especially indebted to 'Auden James' for kicking my butt into gear after the terrible first version of Ch.7. It was he who re-lit my fuse and helped me get started on the 2nd half of this tale. But I am also very aware that each reader sees, and wants, something different... and that the story I wish to tell will not please everyone.

To wit, let me explain the view from my keyboard:

1. Elise is young and naive but also "very smart" (Ch.1). She is a natural pleaser and is often an unwitting tease. She is willing to adapt to her environment (however crazy) in order to stay in everyone's good graces. She also learns! She is on a journey of growth here, as young people generally are, not stuck in some static rut. Is she more assertive now than in Ch.1 & 2? Yes. Is that understandable? Yes. Has she learned who to trust and who not to trust? Yes. Is she more confident in her interactions with the person she most trusts (Dr. P.). Yes, of course. Is she more assertive when sexually aroused & proximate to Dr. P? Yes. Is she more reactive/shy when aroused in the presence of the other guys, for whom she has far less trust/respect? Yes. Is she still willing to bend over backwards to please them? Yes, but reluctantly and maybe not for much longer. Again, this is normal. What does Elise want? Several things; 1. to stay away from home (Chs.1-5), 2. to parlay her internship into a permanent job (Ch.1), 3. to win Dr. P's affection (both because she is attracted to him and because he is her best available ally in her present environment), 4. to otherwise stay out of trouble (esp. with Dr.Y). She works toward achieving these objectives, often via independent action. Again, she is smart and adaptive, not a complete slave to her recently-awakened subservient impulses (though they exist). To wit: the vignette in the shoe store shows adaptive learning and a sentient person's ability to improvise in order to accomplish an objective (satisfying Dr. Y's 20-minute demand). The scene shows Elise has learned to succeed in her new world... (i.e. it is character development).

2. Arthur is on a journey as well, despite his age. He bears scars he does not entirely understand. Slowly he is changing course, traveling in a slightly new direction now, breaking out of a long-standing rut. Where will this new path take him? And what does his old love Sylvia have to do with all of this? Those are the big questions for him.

3. Content: Not every chapter will contain exhibitionism, or even teasing, as we move forward. Ch. 10 will probably move back to Erotic Couplings. There will come a time, perhaps as soon as chapter 11, when this plot's trajectory lands on its intended target and explodes. That final scene is already written, and will not necessarily seem erotic to all/any. But questions will be answered, and that, certainly, is important to me in THIS story (unlike my others... and unlike much of the stroke-happy stuff already ubiquitous here). It only remains for me to find the time to connect the narrative released thus far to that final scene. For that task, I beg your patience.

Anyway... I am no expert storyteller, that's for sure. This is a lark and I am learning as I go. I truly appreciate everyone's deep reading of my work and comments thus far. I respect each.

And of course I would love to hear any thoughts my above ramblings bring to mind, to keep me on course. ;-)

With gratitude,

Inkyscandal

This is erotic! I always look for updates from you first.