All Comments on 'Ted Online Pt. 09'

I'm enjoying the story so far. It's well paced, has an interesting plot and fun characters. Getting a bit crowded though :)

Five stars again. I keep checking every day for the next chapter they can't come quickly enough for me. Thanks for a great story.

Wooo Australia!! Sorry had to get that bit of patriotism out. I get that you write these stories pretty quickly, and for the most part without errors, but the grammar freak in me can't help but pick up every slight mistake. Of course I do my best to ignore them, after all, you write incredibly good stories.

It's not enough to cause me to stop reading your stories, but I've started keeping a mental list of words and phrases I'd like to never see again. Anywhere.

- silken heat

- pleasure

- heaven

- bliss

There are at least ten more that are almost on the list ("puckered star!"), but those are definitely the big four.

And does every sex scene really need to also include a full justification for his polyamorous ways, or tellus once again just how much he respects and cares for each and every woman in his life?

I saw a bit of arguing about this stuff on a previous story, and I'll probably wish I hadn't said anything shortly after posting this. I'm not trying to hurt feelings; hopefully a little constructive criticism won't bring down too much hatred on my head.

The pleasure of her silken heat was heavenly bliss?

Sweet! all the words on one line. :D

You missed one though, I used ecstasy a whole lot.

The ecstatic pleasure of her silken heat was heavenly bliss? ;)

Seriously though, I kind of get it, there were a lot of sex scenes in this series, and only so many ways to describe things in a way that isn't crude. Perhaps a failure of imagination on my part. I try and stay away from the crude words, pussy, cunt, shithole? Or at least, the few I did use I kept at a minimum.

Yes, the love part is important to the story, I don't think I went into too much detail or waxed poetical, but it's what he was thinking so it's worth writing. It's called setting the scene, and makes the action that follows more natural.

I don't remember justifying polyamory in every scene... but it is a harem story, so kind of one of the central themes, it's going to be talked about.

I'll tell you what, I'll make it a goal to use those words less, because it is a valid thing. Repeating words in a story I mean.

dont got none

love the story its yours keep it CUMMING

paps