All Comments on 'Teenage Mother'

Such a loving family...:)...!

Different but well put together and well written too.

Ide say maybe a bit more on descriptions of the 3 leading characters.

Nice story 5*

especially between brother and sister

Are we going to find out the sex and the health of the baby? Hope there is more time spent in bed,, gave you 5

Hope to read the follow up.

"Thank you for reading my story. I welcome comments and votes."

That seems to say you consider the story told and done with. It isn't! Not by a long chalk. Speaking as a reader, my interest is just properly piqued and it would be very disappointing if it stayed unfinished like so many Lit submissions.

I agree with an earlier comment that you need slightly more description during the actual sex bits. Don't shy away from that part of storytelling. It IS meant to be erotica after all. This isn't urging some venture into crazy out-of-character sex parties with new people dropping by for casual bondage sex or whatever. I just mean that the sex lives of the three parties we've met are in need of more detailed exploration.

Sex during pregnancy; exploring the sexual contact between the women; how to explain the situation to the existing children; having more babies; sharing parenting within the mixed family living under one roof and a dozen other intimate things are all left just hanging. Without painting in these details, we're left with a promising early sketch for what could have been an interesting mosaic of family life.

How well you describe the intimate sex and general family interactions would shape how good a story this would become. Right now, it's just a hollow beginning.

I would like to read on how this development ho on

Pregnancy stories are easy to do wrong, doubly so when incest is intended. You did a wonderful job with this story. I hope you continue.

Trish better not be expecting her to just give up the baby cos i know that aint going to happen. Good Job thou, well done.

You just keep pumping out the good stuff!!! While it would be a sad day for Lit, I pray that you take your writing more mainstream and get a few shillings for your talents!!! Another 5 star outing!!

Wow. This story needs and deserves a second chapter. An exploration of the brother-sister-wife relationship dynamic. A window into how they handle parental duties, who needs love, from whom, and when, how time affects their bonds with each other as their relationship matures.

Prior to the brother showing up at the hospital, I had assumed the two children would bond as they survive their brutal childhood and, when of age, would have a child. I had not envisioned, at that point, the happy ending for their mother. I am most pleased with her rescue and subsequent relationship with her brother & SIL. I wonder if a future installment could have that younger generation get together though, as their mother and uncle have done???

Loved your story!

Too much of a build up for me. Also, the sex scene was way too short. Don't bother with a second chapter. 3*

If Trish wants a kid, Tom is an available young stud. And it wouldn’t be with a relative.

Clive a social worker knocked up a 14 yr old? So he did prison time right. This is a stupid story!

I'm sorry, but I just couldn't buy into the whole Brian and Trish are both fertile, but some kind of weird incompatibility thing means that they can never have kids together. Real life just doesn't work like that. 😕

If you had chosen to have Trish be sterile due to some childhood accident, then that would have been a lot more believable. I was also disappointed that you didn't have your main character be completely drug free. I would have liked it better if her ex had been the only one smoking dope before his downhill slide into the heavy stuff, but at least she stays clean after that. 3/5