All Comments on 'Telos Ch. 01'

is something else

This is an interesting story and you have most of my favorite elements-- an unwitting, unwilling girl slowly broken down to serve a master-- but I wish you'd described more of how her master broke her down. Is he using subliminal messages? Drugs? The book was a good touch and I liked seeing how her reaction to the book changed but I wish you had more of those reactions and developed an internal dialogue.

You described the slow breakdown of her mental defenses from her point of view, but you haven't told us much about his methods, his purpose(to enslave her), or her origins. You hinted that she came from a dysfunctional relationship, but what exactly was it? Abusive parents? An abusive ex-husband? And what drew him to her? Is there an element of salvation for her? Is this a life she would really want? Please keep writing.

Like the start it looks like it could be a long story. I can't imagine someone losing so much control but it would be interesting to be on the side of Controller

So many comments asking about HOW he broke her .The white room is a known torture that deprives people of sensation and can make people lose their mind .He has been implanting suggestions to her which slowly she has latched on to to prevent going totally mad . Loving the start.

He has totally destroyed her mind...that is horrible. Just as brutal as if he'd done it by abusive force, the result is the same. I feel a little sick after reading this.

I have enjoyed this story very much. Her struggle to keep her mind is great. I find myself talking to her telling her to listen to her voice knowing her capitulation is necessary and inevitable. Well....I'm on to the next chapter!

For pointing this out.

I just LOVE a story that places me inside the mind of both of them.

You can feel her anguish and relish in his control...

I like a lot of MC stories but this one just makes me feel like I need a shower. I prefer a plot where a guy has needs and gives into them without messing up the lives of the women he comes in contact with. In this one the man is kidnapping them and imprisoning them in white rooms until they either surrender or go insane. Them being victims of abuse or whatever doesn't make that acceptable. He's a psychopath. Well written, but not my cup of tea.

Zzzzzzzzzz

Well written but sick. Didn't read it all cause it makes ME sick also.