All Comments on 'Temper Tantrum'

Hard to believe that Sal never even tried to talk about his wife thinking he was having an affair when he knew he wasn't. Might not have prevented divorce, but he'd still wanted to have known why.

Boring long winded drivel.

But kind of drifted off and never really felt a climax to the story, a rushed ending and personally I don't believe she paid enough penance and was up for getting laid in 3 mos? Some people have no regrets but she did, but really few. Sal I am sure will be a basket case for quite a while especially cuz he, and she did too, considered the were happy together and had a good marriage. She took her revenge hip shooter style...She was a hand gun owner and angry enough to kill by her own admission. Shouldn't play with guns when angry and fired when she didn't have a real reason. Much like the police today I might and will add but didn't even have that sorry cover all excuse "I feared for my life". She did not have an excuse for murder...and she did murder her marriage...on purpose. And she was legal to carry.

I was a LEO for a while long ago and when I went thru the Academy we had a "shoot/don't shoot" course. It was not a pass or fail thing, they just wanted to know how you would deal with a given situation and who would shoot or not. It took place in a room much like a video game. You'd approach a vehicle and a situation would unfold in which you had to assess, interpret and take action one way or the other. There was a lot of gun fire and yelling as one might imagine. All these would be cops were the epitome of macho. One of my classmates was a female. It was my turn after her and she came out and whispered to me "Shoot the blonde with the big tits" I went in and when that scenario came up I just shot the shit out of her (she was driving a convertible sports car and she indeed had big almost totally exposed tits...and a gun in her right hand. I was the only guy in the class that shot her.

Lesson learned!

Not badly written and I encourage the writer to keep on writing. 4*s

without any real knowledge of the false facts. TK U MLJ LV NV

The beginning was good, but then the story got lost in its web, too many characters and lucky chances in her way...Finally how did she decided to go on with her life? Returning to fuck the guy that helped her to cheat...didn't she at each time she met him at work thought about all she had lost because of that easy fuck? I think that would have put a stop to any following relationship with him...even if only a friendly one! 2*

No meaning,Thought at first we had a B.T.B story going but no..

WTF is Brian?? Thought his name was Josh.

Yes she went off half cocked but for me, who is BTB type of guy, he was pathetic in his run and not face the problem. If having faced the issue he still could not face the continuance of marriage then so be it. But not to talk to someone you had loved for in excess of ten years is just purely weak,.

JJ

Are you planning a second chapter because this kind of feels unfinished. What happens to the characters? I guess we just assume that they all remarry/move on. The story just seems a bit lacking. Perhaps that is all you wanted to tell. A woman makes a huge mistake and has to move on. The problem is you haven't done it much better than authors who have done the same while also writing a bunch about their relationships afterwards.

We never really get to hear what Catherine is thinking after the divorce is filed. We see how she feels before when she realizes she made a mistake, but not after. People tell her to move on and she just goes along with it. There's no internal conflict over dating again, no sense of loss over plans she and Sal had that will never be fulfilled, no comparisons to Sal, etc.

I'm not saying you did a horrible job. This type of writing is fine when her story is just a piece in a larger one or if she isn't the main character. However, when nearly half the story is about her moving on, this doesn't cut it. You make it a signifigant plot point but don't put as much effort into it.

should've tried the docks love.

like life's problems. Catherine may drift the rest of her days. Who knows... But it sure would be know the rest of the story..

Beginning was great.

How it end was poor.

It feels unfinished.

So he did her revenge an is now a slut?

No working hard no matter what it takes to try to get to Sal?

I would change the ending or write more to fix it.

In balancing the scales, but one has to be certain they are out of balance.

Her revenge went a bit too far rubbing her husband's nose in it...if he had indeed cheated with sister, she should have one night stand but hide it as she thought she did.

Her lover's disingenuous comment about no sex with married females was an insult.

He knew she was drunk, irrationally upset, hurt and as vulnerable for a seduction as they come ad he took full advantage of it.

Your story is written as if she did nothing wrong. Pointing accusing finger at husband for break up because he wouldn't talk with her to work out problem, ignoring that she did not converse with him before getting revenge.

Neither she nor Josh are the least bit contrite, nd eagerly jump in the sack after only 3 months.

I know people who mourn for a goldfish's journey down the toilet for longer than she grieved for loss of marriage

She never corraled the behavior that upset her marriage in the first place. Sure, from what was written we can assume she feels remorse from her actions, but instead of perhaps reflecting on her misdeeds and vowing to alter her behavior in the future, instead she decides that, as a still beautiful woman, she doesn't deserve to wallow in pity but instead needs to go out and get laid. Rather shallow and, dare I say, "impulsive", to quote her description of herself. All this says is that the woman never really learned anything from the dirty deed, which is quite sad in point of fact. I agree with others; feels more like a first chapter of a larger tale, maybe more from he husband's POV as opposed to the wife's.

They saw what king of trash she was and sent her packin"

Worthless! She learned nothing and really never tried to save her marriage. Her only thought: "Three months was a long time for me to have gone without sex and my six speed, seven inch purple pussy pleaser did not compare to feeling a man's cock harden at your touch; have my breasts fondled and my nipples sucked or feeling a cock twitch in my mouth at the ecstasy my lips provided." Self -Centered

It's not finished

I can't decide how i feel about her, but her going back to Brian seems really shallow. He also seems disingenuous and if he really was someone who looked out for her he wouldn't have had sex with her when she was as drunk as she was. Great beginning, ok middle and a bland end i think.

Seems to me she sure got over things in a hurry, and it doesn't seem logical to handle things the way she did. Maybe things weren't as good as you want us to believe. I'm thinking she was just looking for an excuse, and had one handed to her on a platter. Sal should have told her up front what happened with the sister, but she just seemed TOO eager for some strange.

She screwed up. Given the circumstance, she obviously needed to work on her impulsiveness and perhaps a bit of anger management thrown in. Now Sal, in my opinion, is almost as bad. His impulsiveness and anger issues are even worse than hers. Let me explain . . .

This would have been a fantastic story if she'd just FAKED her revenge. Now she didn't, of course, but let's compare reactions.

When she believes HE has cheated, she reacts impulsively, stupidly, before getting an explanation . . . but does NOT run away, and does NOT end the marriage.

When he believes SHE cheated, he runs away and cuts off all communication, so there is little chance of explanation, and immediately takes steps to end the marriage.

Obviously, her love for him and the marriage is much more than his for her and the marriage. In fact, I'd suggest his supposed love is little more than a powerful sense of ownership.

She was very stupid and impulsive . . . but perhaps learned from it. He is stupid and impulsive, and no different than when he was a kid and cut off his mother. With no flexibility or willingness to change, his life will probably repeat. Any subsequent marriage(s) will be to a woman who will probably cheat . . . or even if she doesn't, at some point he'll suspect it and run away again. Unless he changes he will never be able to have good marriage.

So, while she may not realize it yet . . . but she'll be much happier and better off without him. Sal is trapped psychologically in a modes of behavior and decision-making that will most likely repeat themselves in future situations. Since she is capable of change and hopefully has learned, her next choice for marriage will be a much better, more loving relationship (with good communication).

In the meantime, she's divorced . . . might as well have some fun!! I didn't really wish to come out on the side of the actual cheater in this situation . . . but Sal, as written didn't leave me much choice.

Well written as your stories usually are, but what is it with the JPB virus infecting writers recently to leave stories unfinished?

Telling the story from the cheater's point of view is a refreshing change, but there were some things that I would like to see explored more. Perhaps we won't get to see any more from Sal's perspective, but we should. You have almost equally split the scene from the wife to the husband, but half-way through the story it mostly just shifts to her PoV. Would like to see a chapter two, but only so that we could get more of his side.

I think the conclusion to this story could go either way. You could get them back together (after a long drawn out process), or have him finally move on. An Anon posted a comment that mentioned he is doomed to repeat this vicious cycle, and I tend to agree that he needs to confront the demon, not run from it again.

As it stands now, the story is left with holes but could be considered complete.

Anyhow, thanks for sharing and look forward to possibly more.

RNebular

seemed rushed. And cant believe Sal didnt hear about what his wife thought from the sister or mother in law. That would make some difference I think, soften his heart a bit towards the wife. Still her actions are indefensible, but that mitigates things a bit and if a good marriage, why not see if it could be saved. Her impulsivity is an issue, that owuld have to be worked on by her in some systematical, methodical way for me to fully invest back in.

Neither of these people are very interesting. Many writers do that POV shift thing, and it's never a good idea. It just cuts the story in pieces. They did what the writer had them do, but neither seems like an adult. The POV shifts and the lack of clarity about how she could interpret what she saw in the way she did make this a three, for me.

She made a mistake based upon inaccurate info. She overreacted but didn't cut her nose off. She did something stupid.

But he is an absolute idiot with a great bit of immaturity. A mature man who loved his wife would have taken the time to talk. Hell you also know he knows,the real story.

Blah blah blah his mom cheated. Boohoo. So sorry for his poor ass. Now be a man, suck it up, and work it out with your wife. She didn't cheat on you. She seemed revenge based upon something she clearly saw happening even if she was mistaken. That is not something she is likely to do again. So because you are a selfish baby you destroy your own life.

What an idiot.

This story is not unfinished, like the others by this writer it is just badly written. There is a mindset among many readers to want a story to end "and the wicked ___ were punished and all others lived happily ever after" or "the great ____ forgave the erring ____ and they lived happily ever after". In other words readers cant follow a storyline enough to draw a conclusion and want it spelled out for them. And yes this is an ANONYMOUS comment and I do not live in the basement with the moldering corpse of your mother.

I do like the writing. I understand the characters. I understand the impulsiveness of each. What I don't understand is a husband, despite having emotional issues from catching his mother in an affair, not being man or even human enough to AT LEAST listen to his wife. Maybe not the first day or week, perhaps not even the first month, but that's pushing it. Sure maybe his friends fuel his anger and desire for revenge, but at some point in the dark of night, all alone, he has to question himself. He called it a great marriage. How do you throw all of that away when you have to know that there is something that you don't understand.

Perhaps, his emotional instability from his childhood needs a little therapy. Perhaps that will never be enough, but to never talk to her again makes no sense, and wtf is it with her mother?? She says that she'll respect his wishes, aren't mothers the great fixers of the world? What is she some bible thumper who thinks that if people make a mistake, even a grievous one that there is no redemption?

So, I gave you a 5 because I an imagining that there will be a second chapter. We have the art show, the new lover and the ex to deal with. By now maybe he should come to his senses and decide to make contact only to find her with her lover or her gay landlord further complicating their lives.

This was a great story with good character development. Like any good story there are protagonists and antagonists. There is a story line with drama and danger, even harm befalling otherwise good people. The next chapter should drag that out, but with a little hope of a good resolution, then the third chapter have some resolution, even if it is only that they agree to disagree, hopefully not. Hopefully he will realize that he has been an awful husband. No matter how much she hurt him and how unreasonable her response was to her perception of reality, it was a mistake based on a mistaken reality. She deserves better than she got and in my mind,

She is the aggrieved party here.

Probably Josh. It seemed you couldn't be bothered to finish the story properly or you didn't care enough even to get the name right..

Decent enough 4* in spite of the cardboard characters.

In your earlier story "The Nose Knows" you brought that story to a conclusion but, with this one you rushed the ending and left Sal out of the story. Why didn't Sal find out about his wife witnessing Mo's attack on him and why couldn't he at least hear her story? Of course the wife going off the rails that quickly without confronting Sal seems to have doomed her marriage. A second chapter could tidy ups this story and give us a better ending.

Could have been higher with a better conclusion. No resolution with Sal's experience, no resolution of her attempt to talk to him, and no resolve with her family make this a disappointing story. However, thanks for your attempt to entertain.

I think Salvadore would break Josh in little bits. Hence the Italian last name. If I were him with his connections....well lets just say two bodies would never be found again. And this after I made sure to get both fired. Wtf. Finishthedamnstory please

While seamen are often called crusty due to their rough disposition, the semen had just dried out.

Also the end seemed rushed with not nearly enough time spent on Sal and his feelings.

I think author did good job with this tale. Author had hubby do the “why did she cheat, what payback, etc..” and hubby decided it really did not matter. Wife cheated, marriage is over-move on. Author had wife go thru bit of anguish, but as in real life -she did not live the rest of her time in mourning over killing her marriage and keep doing the sackcloth and ashes thing. Any apology or explanation by wife to hubby would have been for her benefit, not his. Author laid out in this tale that hubby was DONE with wife, marriage and anything to do with that relationship. If a 2nd chapter is written, and holds true to Real life- it would be more with wife living a better life, as she has “forgiven” herself for her “error”. Hubby on the other hand, while a “catch” with good career, looks, etc -would be the ultimate “once bitten twice shy” guy and be almost paranoid in any relationship for at least a decade.

Thanks for posting 5*

No sympathy for your protagonist. You didn't give Sal his due.

Your portrayal of the dipshit she fucked didn't arouse anything but animosity.

Sal should have caused him some pain, professionally or personally.

Very lackluster story.

The ending wanders into nowhere without purpose. You now have a divorced couple completely unable to trust others. You have an idiot guy who should never have let himself be pit in that position seeing his SIL in that state and knowing what she was about, and a dumb slut who can't confront her husband or simply do the right thing and divorce. You write it so that she was there long enough that something MUST have been happening because it was enough time for her to sag and stare in disbelief, but you write it as mere seconds and a smart attorney who can't draw an intelligent conclusion from the pizza. Seriously, broken contrivance

Loser characters, broken plot.

...storylines against witnessed behaviors of people you've known or heard about and things you see/hear in the news.

I'd suggest that to vindicate yourself in this storyline, you need to write another chapter about hubby and his trajectory through the story (his POV), well beyond the token "hurt, angry and silent" cuckolded husband.

Bring them to a discussion where at least he points out how stupidly, brashly and destructively she behaved. Look, she had it coming and she knew they both had a zero tolerance for infidelity.....so she thought she saw something and broke several of her own rules and moral declarations to avenge herself on her husband. All that, without ever blowing up in his face? That's not to the character profile for this woman, as you wrote her.

So, silent abandonment was just and true to hubby's character.

But now there is another side of this story yet untold, no resolution in sight, but to suggest they each move on to find other attractions and that's it?

Huh-uh. Not nice. Don't make us call FTDS back out of Literotica retirement (be a neat trick to resurrect the dude and get his partner to collaborate with him again, wouldn't it?

Oh, and to, too, two....semen, seaman, seamen(?).. shame shame, a writer as articulate as you should never allow such silliness to remain in a submitted work. It makes the audience struggle to the point of distraction and/or irritation, leaving them less than pleased with your offering.

Without an editorial team, you are left to your own devices, so must devote a nearly equal amount of effort in the editing as you did in the drafting and writing combined.

In all events, thank you....please continue the story. With some of the minor technicals, drafting against a complete story and some clear direction (trajectory) in your story line and plotlines, this may yet prove to have been worth the while.

Good luck.

Keep it simple and avoid trying to juggle multiple plots. She will survive, likely on a diet of cocks. Maybe she will eventuate to a better, happier state of mind than when she was married.

W,

Good go. Liked it. Oh, and I do like the longer stuff, Keep on keepin' on.

MM

Wow. Writing was okay. Story concept was okay. The amount of hate focused on "Sal" was off the charts. The arch blew out its air as it flew over slutsville and petered out near the Town of Why. I hope there isn't a follow up story in Sal's POV.

First, I don't understand how anyone sees Sal's actions as more egregious than what Cat did and make Cat out as the real victim. Cat thought she caught her beloved in a compromising position with her sister but never confronts her husband. She even thinks about how they both have been negatively affected by cheaters and how he shunned his mother for her infidelity. Even knowing his view she decided to get "even" and had revenge sex with her coworker who said he doesn't mess with married women even if they pursue him. Her revenge is not only having her wanton sex but to show her husband the evidence and that she isn't sorry in the least by going back to sleep. Then after being enlightened of the truth she wallows in self pity and makes weak attempts at some form of reconciliation and doesn't know why he won't talk to her. Apparently she forgot about his relationship with his mother. Then after a few months time of moping and feeling sorry for herself she listened to a few "friends" and decides that she's gotta get back out there and have sex with her coworker Brian. Not sure if Brian is another coworker or McDouche, either way it makes her a very shallow character who didn't want reconciliation even if it didn't get them back together.

Sal isn't without blame but, it is minor in comparison. He shouldn't have been in that compromising position in the first place. He also should have communicated with Cat soon after his incident especially since he holds such strong convictions about infidelity. I especially understand his aversion to communicate with his wife/ex-wife because of how she informed him of her payback. I bet seeing his wife's body showing the signs of her unfaithful actions brings back the ptsd of seeing his mother getting railed from behind when he was a child. The way Cat went about enlightening Sal completely destroys any reconciliation of this marriage. Things were left a little open when the author brought up the bond Sal has with his MIL. Because the MIL is a surrogate mother to Sal I don't think he cut ties with her leading to a crossing of paths between he and Cat. My issues with Sal are; 1. Somehow he didn't see the pizza his wife left in her haste either when he left to pick up his nephews or when he presumably came in to help put them to bed. 2. He sees the evidence of his wife's infidelity yet doesn't get evidence for court. 3. He knew his wife was at a work party the night she cheated yet doesn't go after her lover or work.

Josh aka McDouche is a right cunt. He purports that he doesn't get involved with married women even those that instigate it because he doesn't want any marital drama or to get hurt. He changes his mind when Cat persists in her advances and tells him she's getting revenge on her husband for cheating with her sister. On top of fucking a married woman for her to get revenge he doesn't wear protection and cums in her while also putting love bites on her breasts. Comes off as a complete douche how is moving up not only in his job but also with Cat. He comes across as an opportunistic asshole who has no qualms with his part in the dissolution of Cat and Sal's marriage.

Maureen was the catalyst that caused Cat to seek her twisted payback yet she only appears to inform Cat of the truth and tell her mother of her role in the divorce.

Cat's Mother doesn't take her daughters side in trying to get the couple to communicate because of her strong bond to Sal. I feel that bond should play an important role.

Vincent comes off as trust fund adult who thinks he's giving sage advice but doesn't realize most of his life he's been looking through rose tinted glasses. Because he has betrayed the one he loves and moped about because his SO didn't reconcile, so he knows you shouldn't wallow and martyr yourself and you should get back out there.

I'm curious to see how this story progresses. Where does Sal go from here? How will he interact with Cat when they cross paths again? Does Cat really just move on? Does she go to therapy to get to the root of her misguided payback and find some catharsis. Does Cat learn anything from this experience? Does Cat feel the hollowness of the casual sex she's having? Does sex with Mcdouche feel the same or has it lost its luster? What happens when she goes to the art showing with Vincent, does she cross paths with Sal? Does she ever reconcile with Sal? Do they become friends, acquaintances or something more? Does Maureen or her mother take a more active role in reconciliation? Does Sal ever seek retribution against Cat or McDouche?

It appears that this woman had no remorse and moved on quite quickly without as much as an afterthought of the carnage she left behind. Also, there is no account for Sal after the divorce. Could have been better developed.

So was impetuous & acted on what she saw without talking to hubby. Her big mistake. But Sal the husband surely knew what she was like! His reaction therefore was way worse. What a stuck-up cunt!!!!! She has done herself a big favour getting rid of the complete fucktard & will no doubt find a new good hubby soon enuf with one big lesson learnt abt her impetuosity.

I gave it 4 stars. Couldn't bring myself to give it 5* given how horrible a character Sal was...

Everyone makes mistakes. It happens. Unfortunately in the real world people don't spend the rest of their lives lonely and broken in a one room apartment eating tuna for the rest of their lives.

People make mistakes. We learn from them. What we don't do is repeat them. She has NO chance of reconciliation with her husband and she might go through some therapy aboitnjumping to conclusions but it's a mistake she won't make in her next relationship. What her punishment is, is losing her ex husband forever. They won't be friends, they won't be anything.

But people move on in the real world. That's the truth of it.

I enjoyed it. 4 stars.

Just a dumb story about an even dumber cunt.

The betrayer ended up so happy, while the betrayed suffers at large.

Crappy ending in my opinion. Let's all cheer for Catherine!

Not!!

Can't give this full marks given this outcome.

Sal is without blame . He was called out at night to fix something for his sister in law which was s set up and he was loyal and kind enough to stop it and be caring and gentle at the same time. His cunt wife goes out and fuckx some guy all night and goes home with the evidence of it to rub hubbys nose in it . What did anyone expect him to do , killing her might of been an option but no he just walked away. On his side 150% but I would of needed an explanation which would of made me more irate. The lover was made to innocent and she is ready to jump on a cock really fast . So she is the blame but she recovers quick and ready for new dick but what about hubby. The second half was all about the cheating cunt. I think hubby should wind up dating her sister for a while to pour salt on done wounds. Wife's getting off to easy.

The ending left me a bit revolted along with her betrayal. Still the trip was nicely described and very well executed.

The story needed more than "he never spoke to me again", a two line rebuke from her mother, and getting involved with the guy she slept with. It just felt insufficient, self serving and rather guilty free at the end.

A generous three stars because I liked what the story could have been.

Needed more of an ending

Poor ending.

I'm having trouble with the following passage:

" With a wink, he added: "Of course, now, if you ever decide to part ways with your hubby and want to trade up, please keep me in mind."

He knew Sal was a partner in a prestigious firm so the comment was meant to be self-deprecating. ".

I'm missing something, but where is the deprecation? It is more boastful pride, not deprecating. Deprecating means playing DOWN a strength....

Just an English lesson for those who are NEW to the language

Smokepole

MaNGa cum laude? For studying Japanese comics?

Just the FIRST (or oddest) of a plethora of malapropisms!

GMAFBreak!!!

Did she try writing an explanation to his divorce lawyer? Not guaranteed to work, but worth a try.

If these people are really drinking this much, I'm going to get more winery or gin distillery stock!

This HAS to be Ch1 of a series. What happened to (or at) the party Vinny took her to as a 'sexuality distractor?' Why was that included if it is just left there dangling? Although I don't see how Sweetie fucking Josh/Brian will develop anything.

Besides that error, the whole story seems pointless. She's compulsive, I get that but this is a disaster!

you're the only pointless thing on LIt. Why don't you suck a cock and smoke a joint and go fuck yourself you dim witted fool

The entire story changed when she was served. It seemed you had two unfinished stories you wanted to put together. And this vindictive cheater fared far better than she deserved.

The reason for the story was?????

Don’t pay a lot of attention to most of your detractors. It appears many readers here on LIT know very little about creative writing, and I am their leader—however I do know enough to realize that while different viewpoints in 1st person probably is not wise, it is very acceptable. In a novel one would use a chapter change to switch viewpoint, in shorter work it’s done just as you did it. (According to an old writing instructor)

You would have been more acceptable if you used 3rd person but I’ve seen comments bitching about that also. Don’t ask me what these people do when they read a novel.

I also think they aren’t aware that a perfectly good story can have a cast of very unlikeable characters. It’s just that readers like to associate themselves with one character and who wants to see themselves as an asshole?

Everyone has a right to their opinion, and I think you have done an acceptable job with a cast of very unlikeable critters.

Good Luck! I gave it a five for daring to stray off the beaten path.

This was a nice try at humanising the villain. The readers on this site will never forgive you.

The whole mistaken revenge plot casts the characters as stupid, thoughtless, impetuous, and juvenile. Obviously such people are ill equipped to conduct a successful marriage. It was unfortunate, for you, that you chose your characters to be successful lawyers. Lawyers more than most professions know that evidence is misleading, and facts, not feeling or impressions, are the only things that matter. Both spouse-lawyers acted out of feelings and emotions, and almost no facts.

The husband might have wanted a divorce due to disappointment, but why wasn't he surprised and curious why his wife thought he was having an affair? Maybe someone was trying to destroy his marriage, his career, blackmail him? Why didn't his sister-in-law call him and tell him about her conversation with his wife? Its OK if the husband decides the wife is an unpredictable unqualified marriage partner, but the whole miscommunication and/or lack of communication plot device is really lame, and lazy. Thoughtless revenge, to accomplish what? Stubborn silence and detachment from the problem, to avoid what? He had already decided to kick the stupid bitch to the curb. Why not meet with her, let her beg, grovel, apologize, humiliate herself, pour his scorn and anger upon her whore slut metaphorically shaven head? I know, many of us know. Such artful intense thought provoking writing is really really hard work. And requires an author who understands such deep complex interpersonal character traits and motivations. I hope you're working toward that level of intensity and skill.

This was a really long drawn out story of: The wife committed adultery in a fit of anger to somehow balance the adultery she mistakenly thought her husband had committed, then rubbed the husband's nose in her betrayal. The husband got angry upon discovering her betrayal and divorced her without another word. Upon completion of her divorce the supposedly remorseful regretful ex-wife starts fucking her betrayal partner, and eventually her boss, on a regular basis.

See, one paragraph. How complicated was that? My point, exactly.

Keep trying, but include more humanity and intelligence. The failure of a shallow marriage between stupid people is pretty common, and not very interesting.

But making the wife come out ahead in the end rankled me

in that last big paragraph, Josh the new guy in Cat's life became Brian??

You need an editor or proofreader to catch things like the name mix up at the end of the tale.

The office lothario becomes greatest guy ever

The wife is cast as perfect woman

And the nice guy husband who is only faithful character becomes some nasty neanderthal

Too bad I picked this one as the first of your works to read

Time to knock down the average

Really hated the you let the cheating slut have a happy ending.

Cheating slut wives don't get to have a happy ending.

That's like a Superbowl without a football. But reconciliation is most assuredly off the table.

So it is Sal's fault. If he only knew what wife thought she saw. If he only gave her chance to explain.

Uhh - strange you did not mention wife giving husband chance to explain before she rushed into revenge!

How Sal became inconsiderate and reprehensible characters, while short tempered, rush to false judgement wife becomes saint. She hurriedly sought out office Lothario knowing he had been panting after her for years.

His prior suggestive remarks thinly veiled by his denials of ever bedding married females marked him as patient predator. He states he doesn't want to correspondent in divorce case, but fairly certain law firm would have punitive provisions for superior bedding married subordinate

Neither of them hide their intentions dry-humping in front of colleagues-REMEMBER - he will be top dog at firm.

In claims he doesn't chase married females but in smirking he doesn't have running shoes on announces he will certainly fack them

In aftermath Josh disingenuously states he hoped his actions did not harm marriage and then proceeds to vigorously try to convince Cat the Sal really did cheat -Damn the evidence and Truth and lets go get naked again!

When Cat caught college boyfriend she immediately confronted him. Strange she just slunk out of sister's house. Stranger still she knew Sal's deep rooted stance on fidelity, so if author kept her in character a loud WTF upon seeing her sister astride husband would have separated them to reveal truth..

Put bluntly she and Josh had openly and aggressively flirted for years and each were eager to consumate their lust. Josh intentionally marked her breast knowing his blatant disrespect would end the marriage and clear field for him.

As far as sentence structure and grammar your writing was good.

But you failed to keep Cat's character consistent.

You began story knowing the end and sought to denigrate

Sal as rigid ''cut his nose off'' fool, while elevating the predator and his eager accomplice to hero status.

You come off as narcissistic female intent on rationalizing all female adultery while denigrating all loyal, loving and steadfast husbands.

With lone exception when you lasciviously wrote rape scene your stories have recurring theme of wife blatantly trumpeting her adultery to humiliate husband.

Matt Moreau disciple on steroids!

Check score

Your lowest rsted and dropping

Will soon be under 3

Guess why

Poor story line poorly written.

So it just blew up. Seems as if she made no extraordinary effort to speak with Sal. And is that the author's ending?

I see this story as a woman who wanted out of her marriage, and made a flimsy excuse to make it happen.

You write well but this story is just unfinished in many ways. She did not really make much of an effort to talk to her husband. Phone calls unanswered and a couple of letters/emails are all easy things that justify taking an easy way out. One conversation with her mom is weak. She made her own disaster and did not have the guts to deal with it so she just lived in her own pity party without ever even dealing with the pain or consequences her loyal husband had to.

...to a good story with a weak ending. 3 stars

Crappy story. She fucks around and gets to live happily ever after and no word on the poor husband. Minus 2 stars !

Wife didn't seem to be in the marriage to begin with. Seems like all she needed was an excuse to fuck around, so rather than confront her husband and attempt to work through the situation she fucked the office pussy hound.

Cheap tramp looked for a reason to cheat and then walked away Scott free. The victim of all her crap hardly gets a mention. And who is Brian?

Why is it that in all these stories men plan, gather evidence and methodically come up with a plan. Women thinks that maybe something happened or some asshole shows them a cartoon drawing of their husband intimate with someone else and the first thing they do is bang on the nearest cock(s) available to prove that two can play the game. Usually ends up that they were either taken advantage of or were 100 percent wrong in what they thought happened. The first thing the say is "Honey, it was a mistake. I was ______ (conned/mistaken/distraught/menopausal - you fill in the blank). Please forgive me. It'll never happen again. This woman was a lawyer for God's sake. You would have every expectation that she would have two brain cells rubbing together that would spark together and MAYBE make sure things were actually as she thinks.

Shit like this just pisses me off. She must not really love him enough to actually fight for her marriage rather than killing it like using a club on a bunny. The last paragraph had no remorse for her failure, just how she was going to get some strange cock.

Fucking stupid lawyers.

first chapter.

Totally unfinished. We never really hear from Sal what he's thinking at the end. Or the middle. You threw some misc. characters in there that seemed unnecessary. And the rest was boring and unemotional. UGH!

Wife wrongly accuses husband of cheating. Gets her sexual revenge and lives happily ever after including little remorse when she finds out truth.

True to life though. Female eager to spread legs will attract many takers!

No remorse at all for her part in the cheating and where is Sal.

Split the difference 3*

The two main characters never interacted. The reader was left holding the bag.

"Cat" lived up to her name; Alley Cat. What the hell did the queer and the apartment have to do with the story?

This sounds like a scrounged excerpt from a larger story.

I couldn't get past the first few paragraphs. The comments were much more fascinating. Like the excerpt for the comment title. My fetish is anonymous comments. It's in my profile, and it's on the internet, so be assured it's true. Just like the cheating that didn't and did take place. Laugh out loud.

Nobody knows the point. It's fulfilling of certain desires, but ultimately shortsighted to assume the worst when a better explanation can be had. And I'm not even talking about the characters, but the author's intentions. But I avoided all that by not reading it. So, this story was successful in casting a gaggle of mentally handicapped geese.

Etchings? Is that a whore boast of the notches on the bedpost? *shudder*

When I broke up with my high school sweetheart, I thought my life was over. After reading this story, I guess I was right.

Seems like the wife was looking for an excuse to fuck around. She just wasn't into the marriage any longer. Wife wouldn't believe her sister (conveniently), and went after the guy who fucked her to begin with and the one responsible for helping end the marriage.

Wife got what she wanted in the end. She is now free to bang anyone and everyone she wants. Sounds like "the modern woman", the selfish self centered slut who's life is centered on the word "me"

What happened to Sal? Who knows! The author didn't let us privy to his thoughts, actions, or whereabouts.

what's the matter asshole remind you to much of your dead ex wife's affairs while you wer married?

I need to develop a flash temper. When a conflict arises, I immediately decide to betray my spouse, without bother to ask questions.

I will be rewarded and meet my real true love.

Until I misconstrue something else and repeat my behavior.

No matter, my temper and penchant for cheating will be rewarded.

Oh so good to know at last. Pity I spent all my life prior to reading this story behaving exactly the opposite.

Read like a female was the author.

The husband is not heard from.now a X. She now screwing around. The guys are lining up. So what's the screwed husband doing now!

Yes! She got burned for her hasty decision! Serves her right that he did not talk to her ever! My kind of guy! For there is NO EXCUSE for what she has done!

Brian???

I was reading this, half hoping that she could talk to her ex and reconcile, but the ending is such a crock of shit, it's really sad. She so desperately wants to tell him why she did what she did, but as soon as it's convenient, she has some other guys cock in her. What a bunch of bull shit.

Poor plot, poorly constructed, poorly edited. Poor authors keep their characters from talking to each other. Must be in some, "How to Write Erotic Literature" book. It surely doesn't create erotic tension. Instead, it show lack of imagination.

Crap, now I have to take a good shit.

Absolute crap

So she sails off into the sunset with a known player. This ought to work out well for her.

Doesn't chase married women but he certainly will fuck one if they come to him especially vulnerable.

She did not deserve any happiness in her life. Just a very unlikable bitch. A typical lawyer.

Despite what others have said I don’t think the story was that bad. It was just the ending that was “that” bad. Sure, she should have asked him about it before she went off the deep end, but she was probably in shock. Just as he was when he discovered her infidelity. No, the biggest problem with the story is that she didn’t really pay. Just a no-fault divorce and a 50-50 split is not nearly enough. He should have found out who her lover was, and when he found out they worked together, gone after their company. Ten million dollars would have been a good start. Take their jobs, maybe their careers. Then go after her like Atilla the Hun in divorce court. Leave her jobless, broke and alone. I think that would change a lot of people’s opinion of the story.

The issues with this story: - It was a two person (wife and husband) tale and suddenly it became just one person (wife)...2 - Why didn't she confronted her sister and husband? (this is the weakest point of the story)...3 - She then saying: "None of this was your fault Josh"...Really? He was like her 'older brother' and like an "older brother" he takes advantage of her drunkenness to fuck her...4 - Where will she take her life? Will she try to rebuilt it or will she began to fuck around beginning by her "older brother"? 2*

WHO IS BRIAN!?!?!?

Nobody in the story is named Brian until the last paragraph where you introduce a NEW and unimportant figure into the life of a SLUT. Why wouldn't you just write it as Josh gets the slut in the end and the Good and Decent "husband" catches cancer and has his testicles removed insuring no progeny for the "good Italian" because his Irish slut wife couldn't keep her legs together?

You never shit in your drinking water. You don't date off the company pier. And you don't fuck co-workers because it leds to lawsuits.

You played The one that cheated to come out better in the end terrible story not even a one