All Comments on 'Temptation Pt. 03'

Your story is well written and well thought out. Looking forward to the next chapter

You're a very good writer. The tension just keeps building. I'm enjoying the hell out of this story. Keep it up.

The wife says , Jake was paid to seduce her. I'm 73 years old and have never met a woman that could be seduced, that easily unless she wanted it. Maybe I'm fortunate

not to know someone that dumb.

Love the story and was hoping it would wrap up with this last post. Now I'll have to be obsessively checking the site again tomorrow to get the latest. 5star stuff. Love the mixed emotions and can understand how such a situation could evolve with a happy couple being manipulatedby a malevolent psychopath. P.S bastard is a complement in the antipodes.

Too long, this could have been done in half the words.

Anna is not a victom here, she was fucking Jack willingly and what does it matter that someone paid him to seduce her shouldn't she reject anyone since she is married also how can Anna trust so much other people and so little her husband even with some unclear evidence of adultery if she loves him so much she should trust him first. Anna is judgmental, bitchy and dumb and is hard to sympathise with her but i m interested to see how will story end.

What is particularly troublingis that in the marriage they both made it very clear each other that they would never cheat on each other and they would always talk about suspicions and concerns before they ever took any action.

the wife didn't care about any of that.. She heard a couple rumors a couple stories saw a bunch of circumstantial evidence and she of course let herself get fucked by another man.

There is no way to come back from this. there is no Marital therapy ...no marital counseling. It's over. They cannot get back whay they had and never will

Anyone who trusts a near stranger over a devoted partner has psychological and emotional problems. You can't write it off as a dumb mistake.

The difficulty with this story is that the plot's motor is Anna's behavior. If her behavior is simply accepted without explanation then the author has written himself into a corner, as someone else commented on ch 2.

For example, in what way is her behavior forgivable? I'm not a BTB fan, and can accept a reconciliation if the story is written appropriately. However, if you forgive, without knowing the cause of the behavior, then the root problem isn't being handled. For me, that's what is most difficult to swallow. Anna's character is well-enough written (she's a mess of contradictions) that 'a stupid mistake' just isn't good enough as an explanation. If the story doesn't somehow deal with the 'how' of her behavior (not only the sexual infidelity but her apparent lack of trust in her husband - the bigger betrayal in my opinion) then it will remain average at best. A good story deals with motivations and causes and doesn't simply assume them to keep a plot moving.

It's a well written, reasonably interesting story, but it's simply far TOO LONG. I think paring this down to about half the length (I'm assuming at least 3-4 more pages in CH4 to finish this off) would make this a better story. Well, at least one easier to read in this context. Frankly, given what I've learned about the LW "voting", it probably wouldn't affect your scores much though. They are VERY NICELY written words, just too many of 'em, that's all.

@Randi - Curious, as his editor (and your work is usually flawless), you clearly disagree with my comment, or you would have suggested shortening it yourself. What aspect of the story (plot, character development, suspense, ?) convinced you that this was an appropriate length?

i won't vote till i read the last chapter, and vote on it as a whole.

can't wait for the revenge against those assholes to start

And these two are too dumb. **

she says she is sorry for what she did,but she was a willing participant in her cheating she made no attempt to stop jake ,she enjoyed doing it with no thought about her husband

after her husband saw the video,he will never be able to get it out of his mind or get over it ever,so the only recourse is divorce,no more the she deserves

Amazing. This is a story where everybody can lose, and nobody wins. Waiting for next chapter, i wanna know where the story goes.

Great work.

Don't make Gary a !!! WIMP !!! Let him go.

Anna has to go to the partners and lay it all out for them. The two conspirators are working a major case while she is the lead on it. That sexual harassment is an element in the case makes it even more imperative. Not to mention that if she doesn't get to the partners first, Kendra sure will with a video she has. Also, might want to figure out if that camera is still in her office.

What I don't think she truly understands is that the betrayal isn't simply the one off fucking in the office but all of the back rubs, dancing dates, lunches and each time she used Jake as a confidant. If indeed this was a relationship where her husband was also her best friend, and things indicate now that it was more pipe dream than reality, she should have believed him and come to him with questions instead is accusations. She is not a particularly smart person. How she came to be a lawyer in the first place not to mention being on a seemingly fast track to partner is beyond me. Alexia moves into the almost good person side but why would she agree to do this for a friend in the first place? Still pretty ugly characters so far.

The plot a little forced. I like reconciliation but the thing that gets me is that she was basically cheating before she heard anything about Alexia and enjoying it as well. So the betrayal could well have happened without Kendra's input, something Gary needs to realise when confronting her.

I usually thank everyone for their comments, and will do so again. I am glad that there are so many various opinions about my characters, even if some are not very flattering. All constructive comments have been left up, even the ones that point out my failings. I read them all and sometimes they help me adjust, if I feel they are warranted. Part 4 was approved for tomorrow so will be available to wrap the series up. Thank you for hanging with me, and all of the feedback I have received both as comments and as email.

RNebular

Gary talks about how they promised each other not to cheat. Who does that? That is just a given. No one promises not to break a promise. So that was just dumb. The rest of this episode is just filler. I am not sure what to think of this yet until I see the conclusion. Is this collateral BTB? You fuck up the people who caused your wife to fuck up, but not her directly? A kind of BTB RAAC (whatever RAAC stands for)?

He needs to ged rid of his ex and that Jake so they dont know what happened, then leave his wife, he is work at home and has a job she will be jobless, homeless etc, so he could get the child. Then the blonde who was part of origional set up who felt for him can ride off into the sunset with him. Yet she did do it for money!

But if they stay together it has to be after she has been burnt to the quick and knows not to mess, as I do feel for the child, as they are the ones who always suffer the most and they dont know why, poor little rug rats.

The writing appears to be technically accurate, I think. I'm no grammarian, and I've always thought imagination and wit are more important than grammar and spelling; you can hire someone to fix those issues.

But my God, could the characters and dialogue be any more fatuous: "For Gary, it was as if a lightbulb had turned on. Why hadn't he thought of that before? He decided he would get to the bottom of why she thought he was cheating, starting with her coworkers." Isn't Gary about two chapters too late? Panties and perfume on his gym bag, but Gary shows no interest in reassuring Anna and figuring out just how that weird shit happened.

"The one thing she did admit to herself was that she had enjoyed the little tryst with Jake, as wrong as it was. She knew what he was after when he started in with his massages, and should have stopped him when she had the chance. The million dollar question was why hadn't she?" Uh, how about she likes sex, and Jake is a handsome hunk, and she has no self-respect nor respect for her husband? How about she's a selfish willful bitch who got exactly what she had been wanting since she met Jake?

"First, he had to gather more information so that he could exact as much revenge as possible on the person most responsible for their family falling apart." Unbelievable! After watching the video of Anna being fucked on her desk, then at least an hour or two of acrimony and distraught arguing, it hasn't yet occurred to either spouse to wonder who has bugged his wife's office for sound and video, and for what purpose? She's a lawyer working on incredibly sensitive criminal cases and she just found out that her clients and their court cases may be compromised, she may be blackmailed, her and her firm may be destroyed by law suits? And the most important issue for the husband is not did his wife just get an STD, not did his wife just get pregnant, not who and why would someone go to such lengths to seduce his wife and provide him with a video. No, its revenge.

And all the mental dithering about what am I going to do, how did this happen, why am I acting like a hormonal juvenile, what will people think, why didn't I do this, why did I do that, why can't I just write a direct compelling story about what people did do rather than waste paragraph after paragraph reciting pointless quandering and drivel?

If you are not 13 years old, you think and write like one.

This has been very interesting. I've enjoyed every chapter, so far. You're building toward a climax and it should be a good one. Definitely the only thing worth reading today. Good effort and I look forward to the next chapter.

This story wont be good if he doesn't fuck someone as well.

This part was better than the others but it is still way too tedious. You need an editor to cut your writing down. I appreciate that you want to develop the cast of characters and I applaud that, however you are dragging the story too much with repetitions and descriptions that are redundant.

Your story line is good and you are a pretty good wordsmith. You just could use a bit of help.

I seem to recall in one of these chapters that Anna was drugged. Now, whether or not she was drugged during the sex really doesn't matter as much. Because this was all a planned seduction.

There are questions about her cheating without sex beforehand. And those questions do suggest a less-than-strong character. But, to be fair, how many of us have ever had someone go to the lengths Kendra did to seduce a person? I know I haven't and I'm "gorgeous". LOL.

I'm all for a reconciliation because, really, these people deserve one another and there seems to be genuine remorse by Anna. But Anna should examine why she let this 'hunk' get that close to her in the first place, considering her professed exclusive love for her husband and the niggling issue of being the man's supervisor and all the corporate ramifications thereof. She really isn't that bright...

As far as the story writing goes:

Seems to be too many words because, really, the plot is not all that developed or particularly complex. And the characters seem somewhat one-dimensional. I gave it a 4 because I did somewhat enjoy it and I expect to like the last part. But it's a weak 4.

. One of the best and I'm really enjoying it! Thanks.

Great story so much to say but I'll wait to see where this ends up.Anna nothing but a self-centered lying whore, she wanted the sex with Jack. The thing that gets me is at the beginning she tells him someone told her crap about him, but Gary never goes to her work to confront them . Anyone who who lies about me I going rt. Then to confront them and demand what's going on.There is no hope for this marriage ,Anna is always going to find a reason to cheat. Well I got to go I'm a rich retired marriage councillor believe me this happens everyday. Fishing with my grandkids what a life.

as I see it is a divorce with liberal visitation so the daughter suffers as little as possibly. The drug do not remove guilt from Anna because she, an attorney no less, allowed herself to be manipulated into the situation. Add the fact that she is angry with her husband for the things Kendra is telling her and the hug she witnessed, yet has done the same or worse with Jake. Guilt and hypocracy rule out reconciliation. Even though she show a conscience, Alexia can not end up with Gary because of her part in destroying his marriage. Plus it would be round two with Kendra try to split up Gary and Alexia. As for Kendra...She let this fester over seven years, and hatched this elaborate plot. The only way to deal with her is kill her or get her committed for treatment. I don't see murderer in Gary's character, and don't see any other sort of revenge bringing him satisfaction.

So I see two sad people taking it one day at a time. Whether they reconcile or not down the road, or not, is a different story. But I am sure you have it well in hand. Thanks for the read, looking forward to the end.

Awaiting the 'rest of the story'

It might have been interesting to see Anna and Jake continue further, before the reveal, to see if Anna could resist or would she tell Gary?

Kendra is the only one with a plan, Alexia seems to crumble very quickly.

Good storyline.

hard to believe two people can be that stupid, the husband father seems to be the only normal acting person in the story. Of course i'm canadian and we are mostly very wise.

Chapter 4 should be interesting since everyone is in a deep hole!

Okay so maybe they set her up, but they didn't entrap her. They didn't compel her. She chose to cheat on her husband and her daughter. She wanted Jake to fuck her in her own words. So, that is the truth of it. She IS in fact a cheater. She decided to commit adultery. She decided to put her husband in an impossible position. She did that. As far as the Kendra and Jake are concerned, they may be the snakes in the garden, but Anne, of her own FREE WILL cheated. Striking back? Revenge? Against who? Anne was not raped or drugged - she made a choice to break her vows. She weighed her love for her family against some strange cock and chose the cock. Does she deserve revenge? Not really, you see that is just who she is - a cheater. Once you understand that cheaters are just nonredeemable low life's, you understand that there is nothing you can do except be more careful next time. His only real concern is leaving his daughter in the care of a person of low character. Fortunately, he is the primary caregiver and his parents also fill in, so there is a good chance he'd get custody. The only hitch is her inside track with the courts.

make plans where they are all included, in the dark, shake rattle and roll, what will/can happen, TK U MLJ LV NV

He played with her tits, he rubbed her ass and pussy on numerous occasions and he fingered her to orgasm. The he fucked her once. And left her tingling every time he touched or kissed her. I call bullshit on the one time infidelity. Then she loses her fucking mind when she sees him getting hugged by another woman. There is no consistency in her thinking or in her actions. If it ever comes to his attention that she did all of the rest of the stuff that she's hiding I hope he slaps the shit out of her. But I don't think that will happen. Because Kendra is a stalker and set her up she is going to skate on all of the rest of that shit. What happens next time she does it, and she will because she enjoyed it so much, who is she going to blame then? Him would be my guess. Their daughter for taking away her freedom? No, cause she has minimal stake in her daughter's raising. She will now go to a psychologist and learn that she felt entitled because of her promotion promise, she had it coming for being such a sexy and much sought after MILF. Maybe but it's all psychobabble and that means bullshit.

Still writing good and still pissing me off, so keep it coming. Good job laying it out.

She is a cheater , the set up worked. Because she was weak and craved jake.Now how can Gary forgive that. She doesn't deserve mercy. The rest need to pay. A. Film would ruin her law degree and she will never get a job . Does he get the video and destroy it or use it against her for custody. If he wanted to go that route.

Anna is still a disappointment. She needs to be painfully torn apart and examined so she can be put back together correctly.

So far, she is just a stupid cheating slut. Hope she develops as a character.

I look forward to severe pain being inflicted upon Jake just because I hate assholes that fuck other men's wives, even if they are stupid sluts.

I don't really give a shit about Kendra. Anna and Jake are the ones that fucking defiled a marriage and family. They made the choice to do it so they should pay.

Anna wasn't even going to confess unless it came up. That dishonesty isn't anymore worthy of the vows she made with Gary than her whoring herself like a cheap piece of ass, throwing the honor, beauty and dignity of her marriage and child away to rut like a bitch in heat.

I'm very glad she enjoyed Jakes cock so much. It would be a total shame to throw everything away for a cock that didn't fuck the shit out of her.

Anna is a disgusting person.

Still good writing and entertaining.

Excellent writing....and like Pappy7 it still pisses me off too! Looking for more.

It looks like you have written yourself into a corner with these characters. First of all you present Anna as a women of high morals and concern for her fellow humans and then you show her to be a cheating slut wife? - Why would you change her character so much that she as a very smart upward mobile lawyer fall prey to a "known predator"? Why would her husband want her back after her complete fall for Jake's seduction? This story needs a bit more of a story line to make more sense if there wife is to be a wife that loves her husband and child.

Yes she was set up. But so fucking what. She still put her trust in some assholes that she barely knows over her husband. She still cheated. If he stays with her for the sake of his daughter than good for him. But he better at least get a post-nup. He wants revenge on the people who fucked up his marriage he should start with his slut wife.

People cheat. They lose themselves in their careers, exercise, video games, another person. One is not worse than the other regardless of who or what we cheat with or the vitriol that most of the readers reserve for Anna.

Yes she cheated, so did Bill Clinton. But Nicole Simpson didn't and she was murdered. It goes to show that our moral compasses are skewed in our perspective, they justify our actions. Many see Anna as a petty, stupid, cheating slut who should be made to suffer because it makes them feel good about themselves. Others see her as a victim, that she wouldn't have cheated if others hadn't convinced her to cheat or if her husband actually paid attention to her and recognized she was upset.

It's your story. But reality sucks balls and nothing is ever black and white.

not "forsaking all pastimes."

If, as you say,'Most wedding vows state "forsaking all others"', it would be helpful if you could define what you mean by "forsaking".

Lue

Kendra could have saved herself some money Anna knew that Jake was trying to seduce her, and she went along with it. She heard about his conquests and she wanted to be one of them. she admitted to herself on the way ton work the next morning, about the back rubs, little kisses , the lunches¸,and the fuck, which she enjoyed. no she was not seduced, she did it willingly Know she wants to save her marriage, because she cant bear to loose Gary, what a bitch. If I was in Gary's position I'd dump the slut , let her go and enjoy Jake's cock, because she does't want to be loved , She just want'S to be fucked by some one that doesn't car two hoots about her, all he want'S is her sweet pussy

Cum sucking wimps will always get cheated on.

Okay, it's all out now. All these judgmental people, typing badly in all caps, no less. Still an interesting read and I look forward to the revenge episode. Now, both of Gary's parents are into "whatever you decide we will support you" a bit too much. Show some direction, and be constructive. Ask Gary if being alone is really what he wants, and whether he can see himself being that. Being righteous is one thing, being a sad bachelor is another. Go to counseling, help the wife figure out why she was such easy pickings.

"I have a wife I love more than anything, a daughter that gives me pure joy and a great career."

In this sentence, it reads as if the daughter gave him a great career. AP style says you don't need the comma after "joy," but you can see how it can cause a reader to stumble and have to work out the meaning there.

Really, nothing has happened that we didn't know would happen in the very first chapter. You've had her commenting all along about how she loves her husband and family, when truthfully, that is just lip service. She was told that he was a lothario. She ignored that and immediately went to lunch with him. Alone. She hugged him and felt all tingly. At the very first lunch she agreed to go out with him the next Friday, even though her husband wasn't happy about it. She danced with him and allowed him to grind with him on the dance floor. And, enjoyed the feeling. She made out with his sister in public , right on the dance floor. She felt guilty all weekend but immediately agreed to go to lunch with him again on Monday. Alone. This is supposedly a woman on the fast track to become a partner at a successful law firm. She made nothing but bad decisions. She got completely upset at her husband for supposedly doing exactly what she was doing. She had the chance to stop Jake from fucking her (in her business office by the way. She certainly could have been caught by a partner.) but chose to fuck him anyway; because it felt so good. This woman was NOT a hard nut to crack. She spread like mayonaise. His ex girlfriend wasted a ton of money, because she would have cheated anyway. She was not worried about her husband, her child, her job , or her marriage. She just wanted the excitement from doing the nasty. I don't know how you will play this out, but, in my opinion, she should lose it all. I think I'd give Alexia a call.

People tend to believe that others are like them, especially when they're about to do something bad. They delude themselves that their own bad behavior is not so bad because "everybody is doing it." Anna was on a path to being a cheater, so it was easier for her to believe that Jake was doing it too.

About seductions. They can't work unless you cooperate.

Only crap!!!

I respect the last commenter for sharing their opinion, but I fail to see how this is in any way, a wimp cuck fantasy? The husband never wanted to see his wife have sex with another man, and there was no humiliation/wimpy themes...

Oh well, I guess it's better than: "1* cuck shit".

Thanks!

Good story but not completed?

I know the final chapter wil suit me better

She was on X and fought him off, but gave in to him in her office. If course she'll be pregnant. Time to burn this bitch and everyone else to the ground

Story is too contrived and even though I think Gary and Anna are headed towards a reconciliation, Anna does NOT deserve that. It was voluntary to fuck Jake; no coercion, drugs or anything else. She would fall again in the future. Gary needs to move on and fuck Gary's mother and father.

Recon without a doubt. LOL doing what she accused him of and still pissed at him after she did it.

Ty[ical LW husband character. The big "reveal" on the adultery and he blubbers and starts drinking. At least the "throwing up" cliche was left out. This headed toward a RAAC is my guess.

cucky is gonna raac .

pathetic .

Lol. She almost fucked Jake again. What a mess. Then shebfinds put from Alexia how she was getting played the whole time. I mean heaven forbid being a successful lawyer that she would hire a PI firm or directly confront her husband, let alone actually trust (but verify) him. Nah. Appoint Jake and Kendra to investigate for her. What could go wrong? I mean she heard that Jake has been with every woman in the office. How could that be a problem? And Kendra originally didn't like her nor did she like Kendra. I mean isn't she her best friend now. Most of the stories where a woman has an affair because she thinks her husband was cheating do not end well. Usually leads to divorce. Sometimes they can reconmevt years lager but it is a double breach of trust, nit jsut breaking the vows but also not trusting her suppsoed soul mate. Yeah there is no emotional component for a revenge fuck besides anger (usually) but that was not the whole truth here. The false accusations of adultery just made Jake's seduction easier. Also men are typically less forgiving of one time slips. If she had been drunk and heavily intoxicated would be easier to forgive than this collossal fuckup. Worse he saw the video and cannot get the images out of his head. Without counseling or a long time of separation, those won't leave his thoughts. Yeah there was an ambush on their marriage, but she knew what Jake was like and fell prey to his seduction in part because she wad tempted by him and did not rebuff him strongly at the start, and then slipped under his thrall when she heard Kendra had found proof through a 3rd party of Gary's infidelity. It wasn't even a rationalization on her part, as she wasn't really thinking and didn't back Jake off. So yeah there is more wrong than a revenge fuck. Hard to see how this lands in a reconciliation with only one chapter left.

He is going to get revenge on the person who destroyed his little family the most, hello that your cheating fucking wife, dickhead.⭐️⭐️⭐️

I knew a girl like Anna once, a neighbor, daughter of a preacher, wife of a cop, dumber than dirt, a liar and anybody’s fuck toy. Divorced now, of course .

Pretty well written, though the elaborate set up seems far fetched. And the wife had crossed a number of lines with Jake well before he fucked her. The very intimate "hugs" she had with Jake after having drinks with him and her team, the foot rub Jake gave her, the "neck rubs" where Jake was playing with her tits and then fingering her were all entirely her responsibility and her failure to push Jake away both physically and emotionally. And if I recall correctly, the "hugs," the foot rub and the first "neck rub" were before she was led into suspecting that husband was cheating on her. Wifey deserves a whole lot of consequences even if she was set up. This appears to clearly be headed towards reconciliation; perhaps that may be justified because of the 3 yo daughter and the set up, but husband really can't trust her fully anymore. 4****

Plot seems a bit forced. Jake must be one, smooth, hypnotic dude. Must be, since he beds nearly all the women in the office, including some married ones. Some questions: Gary trained as a lawyer per the start of chapter one. So why is he a money manager/investment banker type later in the story? Also, he and his wife should have discussed counseling by this point in the story. Maybe they will in chapter four, but that’s kind of late. Third, we have a possible pregnancy. What if Jake is the bio dad? Probably can’t save the marriage in situations like this, at least, not in real life.