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Click hereI'm counting on it, she says.
Good. Question: Are we clean? I ask.
Well, if clean means we head for the sack, she says, then we smell like roses.
I stand there, water hitting my scalp and draining down my body, dripping from my nipples. Looking at Pamela in my arms, her soulful dark eyes, French eyes, I think about us, and think more about us, her, me, and finally realizing I've survived the "Fab" Five, or the "Flab" Five, as it were, and discovered romance.
I gotta be cool with us, though. We haven't even seen a sunset together.
So, Pamela, I say, we don't really know where this thing between us is going.
No we don't, she says.
Yes, we do, I say.
Where?
Bed, I say. We're going to bed. Together.
Awesome.
My suggestion is to not take ourselves too seriously, have fun, and I'll meet you there.
She jumps up on her tiptoes and plants a kiss on my lips.
That's what you call a connection.
- COMMENTS
Anonymousover 7 years agoThough you do have a lot of GUM (grammar, usage, mechanics) ways to go, it was still pretty good. It was very funny, yet still erotic for me. I look forward to reading more of your works!
GQquietguyover 7 years agoAuthorThank you for your candor, Anon. This piece is my second attempt at writing erotic stories. You've convinced me I have a lot of work in front of me.
Anonymousover 7 years agoWriting dialogue without quote marks is difficult to do successfully. You were not successful.
And worse, you used 'he said', and 'she asked', and again, without quote marks. Geez.
Difficult to read and mostly wasn't worth it when I could.
