by noz4atu
Unworthy of critical comment; thankfully both brief and predictably boring!
don't get what the other comments are on about. loved the end,
Your story wasn't that bad. The ending if strengthened and provided more stimulation would be more satisfying than your quick and over ending. Go over the story again and add to the feelings you want to stimulate in your story. We want time and stimulation to enjoy reading your story and situation. Enjoy fluffing up your story. You have the talent and imagination.
You did a reasonable job of heightening the tension throughout the story and then ruined it in the last paragraph. I have always hated the type of story that end, "And then she woke up and found it was all a dream." This one falls right into that category.
Fucking awesome. Never been a huge fan of the first person stories but this simple yet interesting story made me fall in love with it. Don't understand the other commenters bashing this story. I like it. Would love to see more from you.
Hmmmm. I liked the character’s thinking and the build up but fell flat at the end.