That 90's Gap In-Between Ch. 04

"Yeah this is not the way I wanted things to go," Harlee continued as she began to slightly pace in a small circle in the room.

"Girl Nah I feel you," Bree said, placing her phone down beside her. "How about..." She pondered for a moment looking between the both of them.

"I can just..." Alex said fixing his tie and trying to interrupt the girls.

"Shut Up," The girls said in unison towards Alex.

Alex dropped his arms and sauntered over to Harless , and without saying another word. He placed his hands on her cheeks and furrowed his eyes into hers. He looked deep into her eyes and took a deep breath. He took his thumbs and gently began to rub them up and down her cheekbones sensing all of her worry radiating out of her pores. Harlee parted her lips as if she was about to object his actions but stopped. His breathing was like a calm lake compared to her roaring rapids of hers. He didn't take his hands or eyes off of her. Everything she had formulating in her mind vanished into thin air.

Alex wasn't even sure that this was going to work, he just needed her to calm down so he could get a word in. He began to take control of her breathing. He took one deep breath after another and she followed. He was cool and relaxed and it overcame her quite suddenly. One by one her shoulders relaxed, her flushed cheeks swooned to his thumbs, her hands dropped from his chest in from her protest feathering to her sides. In those brief moments that felt like an eternity she felt every groove on his thumbs grazing her skin, he was warm, quiet and still World War 3 could have been occurring in the living room and everything in her mind was now becoming zen from his touch.

Bree, on the verge of proposing a suggestion, watched silently with her head to cocked to one side "We could.." she started but her words too fell short. She watched them deeply eyeing them up and down, feeling the heat fill up the room. 180 seconds of silence deafened the room and the unbreakable spell Alex was casting over Harlee was even addicting to her to even watch. It was was strong, It was intense, It was real, even she felt chills 'Damn.'

"Harlee, Relax." He finally spoke, "No one you don't want knowing is going to even know I am here." He lowered his hands from her face and turned to face Bree, "Breanna?" She straightened herself before speaking, "Yeah?" "Can you please ask this Justin guy to help take that overflowed trash bag by the back door out?" She must have looked incredibly confused because he took her lack of response as a need for explanation. With the two of you gone, I can grab my bag and walk to my car and head home" Alex finished, turning to place a gentle kiss on the top of Harlee's head.

Bree silently nodded her head and robotically exited the bedroom cracking the door behind her. After a brief moment of small muffled conversation between her and J.T. the two had exited the apartment, 'He isn't even my teacher right now and I am doing whatever the hell he says, damn he's good.' Bree thought to herself as they walked to the dumpster towards the other side of the complex.

Back inside a deer in the headlights, Harlee was still mesmerized by her teacher. "Harlee?" Alex said softly, grabbing her hand and pulling her out of the trance. She blinked up at him through long lashes and doe eyes and remained quiet. "Come over later tonight. I'll whip something up." He continued.

With a wide pearly white smile from Alex and a half chuckle from Harlee, her mouth finally lets her rejoin the present conversation, "More like I'll whip something up because your specialties involve beer and corn dogs." She said, sarcastically. "Just go, get out of here before someone else from Breanna's life decides to join in on the party. As if anything goes my way this smoothly anyway." She said while escorting him back into the living room. As she bent to pick up his bag from the floor feeling of his warm hands grabbing at her waist from behind. She wanted to smile, but decided against it, his dick pressed up on her ass even soft made her feel moist. Rising and turning towards him she handed over the bag and he placed the thick leather straps over his right shoulder. "So can I expect to see you later?" He asked her moving a strand of fallen curl from her face and gazing into her eyes briefly before Alex gathered his belongings.

"Either way, you should come over, we can figure out the food thing then," He said, placing his phone into his back pocket and placing the softest kiss on the top of her locks. The small entryway kept them at a dangerously close distance. Alex looking down to the much shorter Harlee was like wildfire. Everything with them was hot and enticing. As Harlee played the options in her head staring up at his just fucked hair clean facial stubble and sincere smile her world came full circle with the realization that she couldn't stop herself from tumbling further down the rabbit hole.

"I'll think about it," Harlee responded playfully, as her hand from behind her back turned the knob, as he leaned into her to kiss her lips she ducked out of his way and pushed him out the door and shutting it behind him. 'Fuck' she thought as she leaned against the back of the door. 'What am I doing?'

It was obvious to all parties involved that the electricity that flowed between them positive and negative was undeniable they were in deep with each other. Deeper than just a one night stand back in June. Deeper than anyone could have anticipated. The way he looked at her and the utopia that she felt from him was incredible.

It wasn't until a few nights later when Harlee finally saw Alex again and as she laid her head on his chest catching the rhythm of his breathing with hers. She felt something different. The feeling of regret mixed with passion. Her mind had been running the 10K over the past few nights and laying on his chest amplified the screams of running much louder.

Like most fall nights the rain tapped softly against his window, the drops plopped on the metal ledge pooling to make gushing sounds as they fell. Another excuse to why life was keeping her up. The truth was Alex was affecting her bloodstream and over the past few weeks, he inched further into her like a needle. All she could think about over the last few nights was the compelling stare Alex's eyes drove into her in Bree's room. How could this man she barely knew make her moist and carefree all with a simple look?

Harlee quietly rolled off of Alex and put on her oversized university sweatshirt and tiptoed into the other room. The condo was dark, The breakthrough of the moon in the clouds of rain flicked off the marble countertops and reflected against the stainless steel coating the kitchen.

As she wrapped her arms around her body containing her shivers as she walked slowly across the wood floors her mind began to write the novel of worries again. In her heart nothing else mattered, laying in the bed with him was innocent and enjoyable. In her mind, it was a dangerous game of risk and she was about to lose. All that she worried about finals, graduation, her internship, her future completely erased within what seemed like the instant every time his skin brushed hers or his lips would curve into a smile. The thought alone made her grab her body more firmly. It was like his soul communicated with hers and they translated perfectly in the every language.

She stopped at the wide glass sliding door and watched the sprinkles of rain trickle down the window. Her breath reflected on the glass for a moment. Harlee looked behind her to make sure Alex was still sound asleep in his bed before she slowly opened the door to the patio. As she stepped out into the cold crisp night air she instantly felt refreshed and warm all in one. The air kissed her warm cheeks. As each one of her bare toes touched the cold wet concert the briskness flushed into them. As she slipped out completely and closing the glass behind her bare ass she looked upon her new city losing herself in her thoughts.

As her mind weighed every detail positive and negative the same worries flooded back into her. He was incredible. There was no fucking doubt about that. But everything that is too incredible was was ten times too good to be true. He was a lie, a beautiful fucking lie and karma was a bitch that visited her frequently. Investing her heart in a fantasy was impractical. He honestly just scared the shit out of her.

Alex infected the tiniest curves in her veins and crept up her spine snapping her into submission countless of times. How does a one night stand you arrange linger on your clit, tongue, and equilibrium almost 7 months later? How does a one night stand change your life? How does a dick curved to kiss your G-Spot complicate a life that was just so simple? He was just a man, a man here on earth with flaws and corny jokes. A man with no God-like features, magical powers or cures to cancer. He was just a man. A man who was happy to be with her fucked up mentality.

For all that he has, she hated it. She hated the spell his entire world cast upon her. She was in hell in her own mind but heaven in her pussy. She hated the way he laughed, and the way he called her beautiful. She hated the way he pushed her stay curls off her brow and the way he photographed her when she wasn't looking. She hated how fucking perfect of a human man he was but most of all she hated herself for nitpicking things to hate about him.

Harlee was deep into this voyage and Alex had become more than just sex to her. He wasn't real, he wasn't really a good man, she knew it, she knew that the moment she surrendered her heart to him Hirojima would occur. Tonight of all nights, however, all she could think about was his big brown eyes staring deep into the tiniest darkest most hateful part of her tainted soul.

Those full moon brown eyes easing her waters with four and then five deep breaths while avoiding the hurricane that she caused within herself. Totally erasing any anxiety whenever he looked into her. She was cradled by his ora and carried over a threshold that she hadn't been for a long while.

The air outside was still wet and for a moment the storm softened it was pure and clean. Inhale. Exhale. She hated that she was wide awake worrying about hating the half naked man she left sleeping in the bed just on the other side of the door when she too could have been sleeping.

The rain began to start again, this time, it was soft and scattered. The droplets hit her toes, then her shoulder, then her nose as she walked closer to the edge of the balcony to look further over the city.

This was one of the better Georgia moments she always thought. The city was still and the rain was free from people to lay where it wishes. It was soft and soothing and most people took that for granted. She looked up at the full moon to catch the glow on her face as a droplet hit her face again. Inhale. Exhale.

Harlee took in the misty rain and welcomed the brisk air onto her skin. She placed her hands on the metal ledge in front of her and bowed her head and tightly closed her eyes. As she removed her hands from the wet metal to whip them onto the old oversize sweatshirt, her fingers found the sleek feel of paper glide across them. As she pulled her hands in and out of the pocket she opened her eyes to an old withered photograph clenched in her palm. As she took the photo in, she released a deep sigh to herself and for the first time in what felt like an eternity a single tear fell from the bridge of her bottom lashes.

Silently she began to speak as the tear fell from her lid to her cheek to mix with the water on the ledge.

"I can't... I can't do this... He... I... this... I just..." The catching of her tears began to choke her into silence. "I've never felt this much... confusion and anger... I am losing myself... but I am finding..." With her head lowered she shook it to herself and bit her lip and caught a few tears as they reached her chin and wiped them away.

"I'm falling in love with him. He is the most annoying piece of shit I have ever met and he's now having me of all people crying like an idiot... Do you know what this man did?... of course you do..." As she stopped herself again just to steady her thoughts once more.

"I wish you were here. I wish I could lay my head on your lap while you stroke my hair and you tell me everything is going to be okay. That it's okay to feel these things. But I am so scared. I am terrified to open my heart up again. I... just...wish I could hear your voice telling me I'm crazy and to stop being so silly, but am I being silly? Is it foolish to keep my distance because I know I'll hurt him? Because if I allow myself to love him... I will lose him. I can't go through that again... my heart can't take losing another person I love. It's just not fair..."

As her tears began to multiply and the blood in her cheeks rushed out of her face she cried softly to herself. As the emotions overtook her body the cold began to affect the hairs on her body as she took another deep inhale.

"How can I even allow myself to love him...when I am not even sure how to love myself. Or, how to even love someone... I just wish I knew it was okay, mommy I wish you could tell me it's okay. Because I don't know how to do this without you." With that the final tear fell from her cheek to cocktail with the rain droplets in front of her she closed her silent conversation with herself and the night.

Harlee took a step back, wiping away the tears from her cheeks and clenching the tiny old photo of herself and her mother from her childhood. That moment she realized two things; the comfort she always felt from wearing the old sweater and the sadness she felt wearing the old sweater. She closed her eyes one last time kissed her fingers that held the picture and sighed to the moon. All the things that angered her and made her smile came from Alex.

As she stared down at the old photograph it became clear, everything she was missing was right there in that photo. She was afraid of love because she knew how much it hurt to lose someone one you love. The last memories of happiness and full love was haunting in that withered dusty photo. It was out of focus and burned on one corner but it was a good memory. The warmth crept up her body as she could still see the smiles from the greatest love story she had ever known. Her parents'.

The next morning when Alex woke up alone in his bed, his first response was to call for Harlee but then he stopped. He closed his eyes and placed his hands on his face and scratched at his beard. He knew she was gone. He was used to her disappearing acts; and as much as they grew old, he knew he had to give her time. Harlee was better than Houdini she could get out of anything without leaving a trace of how she did it.

At dinner, she performed another one of her amazing tricks, when he had asked her to spend the holidays with him she excused herself to the bathroom for 15 minutes as if he didn't notice. Laying there he shook his head and rubbed both hands through his scruff. It wasn't about pressuring her into something she wasn't ready for, it was about the fact that he fucked her every which way to Sunday and he couldn't get her to open up about anything pertaining to her. He was growing tired, she wasn't immature, no it wasn't that at all. She held her own and didn't need validation from him, he was tired of pretending to not care about her, not dream about her, not being madly in love with her.

Alex released a huge yawn followed by with an echoed 'Fuck' as he stretched his 5'11 self over his king. As he yawned and grumbled he rolled to his side table to check his phone. From the corner of his eye, he noticed the black and white bag sitting on the floor against the dresser.

Alex swung his legs to the side of his bed and stood to adjust himself in his boxers before letting out a final stretch. Walking over to the obviously rummaged bag he peeked inside, her keys and cellphone were still on top. Scratching himself he walked out of the bedroom into the living room to find a sleeping Harlee passed out in front of the backdoor on a pile of pillows. He smiled. Normally she'd be rushing out of the door when he is waking up or already gone. But there she was sleeping in a makeshift cot, beautiful.