The 64th Man

Well, that was no fun at all. It wasn´t even exciting or erotic, it was just hard work. You could even debate if it was sex at all. He just used me to masturbate. Well, I had expected that no love would be involved. And it´s even better this way, because otherwise it would be cheating on Bill. But I hadn´t expected it to be that gross.

Kathy, January 14th, Thursday, 1:30 a.m.

My first day is finished. Wow, that was less fun than expected. It was tiring and it was mostly disgusting. I had somehow expected to get a row of nice guys with an occasional weirdo in between. The guys at my test shift had been quite nice. All clean, reasonably good looking. Enjoyable. And Jake is built like a brick shithouse anyway.

The reality has been ten guys, not one of them in the least attractive. Some of them even stinking and unwashed. Kissing and blow-jobs were hard. Some had difficulties having an erection. I suspect that the test shift had been a set up, to lure me into the contract.

But it doesn´t matter, I regard this as a challenge. I will be able to do it. I have successfully managed to give these guys a good time. But I´m so tired now. And I´m still a little worried about Bill.

Bill, January 14th, Thursday, 6:00 p.m.

I fill this afternoon by purchasing new locks, installing them and moving the boxes with Kathy´s stuff into the garage. Unfortunately I´m finished way too early to go to bed. I don´t want to concentrate on my sadness, so I have to occupy myself with something. I try to watch a movie but it doesn´t really work. My thoughts return to Kathy all the time. I try to be resolute and angry but unfortunately I´m mainly sad.

Kathy, January 15th, Friday, 2:00 a.m.

Horror. This is not what I have expected. Thirteen men have used me. Two or three were clean and acceptable looking, the rest was plain ugly. They have kissed me, groped me and used all of my holes.

And Jake has used me again. I couldn´t enjoy that either, even though he´s the most acceptable of today´s men by far. He said that he wanted to get his share before I get the whore´s look. I asked what he meant. He said that after a while the eyes of a whore change. And their view of sex changes. It´s just work for them after a while. He called them empty shells. This has really shocked me. Bill had predicted about the same thing. I had asked Jake how long it will take. He said that you never know, some can endure it longer or don´t change at all. Some get cold after a few weeks.

What have I done? How can I stop it?

Bill, January 15th, Friday, 5:00 p.m.

Weekend, finally. I´ve booked a nice rafting tour. This will clear my mind. I jump into my car and get on the road. Great, so far I have avoided the really bad feelings about Kathy.

Kathy, January 15th, Saturday, 2:30 a.m.

Oh my god. My first Friday shift is over. Fifteen men, continuous sex, almost without pause. I´ve swallowed a lot, my ass burns. This is hell, it´s absolutely not erotic. I´m starting to dislike sex by now.

I´ve talked to some of the other whores and it turns out that most of them hate sex. And that they are here because they have no other choice. They say tomorrow will be the worst day of the week.

I´ve tried to explain why I´m here and what my situation beforehand was. They think I´m plainly nuts. Maybe they are right. I have even shown them a photo of Bill on my mobile phone. They started get really excited. They wanted to know where he lives. Such a hunk, they said. And I left him for this hell? They couldn´t believe it. As I said that I haven´t left him they just laughed. They said with what I´ve done, I´ve lost him for sure. I´m even more worried now. I have to get out of here. But it´s quite impossible to escape before the end of my five-day shift.

Kathy, January 15th, Monday, 9:00 a.m.

Finally. I´ve survived this horrible week. I feel like shit, I don´t want to continue this. I can´t continue this. I´ll get physically or mentally sick if I do. Jake has warned me to come back to fulfill my contract. To enforce this he hasn´t given me any money yet. But I don´t care about the money. My dream is shattered, whoring is absolutely not what I´ve expected. I just hope my other, more important dream is still alive. My relationship with Bill.

I decide not to return to the brothel in any case. Right now Jake doesn´t know my real name and where I live. I´m a little paranoid and make sure no one follows me on the way to my car and on my way home.

I inwardly jump for joy a little when I see my home. I´ve really been crazy to leave it. This world is so nice, so clean, so full of love. I look forward to see Bill. He seems like a dream by now. Oh god, I need a hot bath. To wash all these creeps off me. I feel soiled. I put my key into the lock and - damn, it does not work. I try again and a chill is running down my spine. Bill... oh Bill. Don´t do this. Please.

I call his cell. Why haven´t I done this before?

"Yeah, Kathy?"

"Oh my god, Bill. I´m sooo glad to hear you. Honey, you can´t imagine... Bill, you were right about everything. This... this was a big mistake. I can´t even tell you..."

"Shut up. What the fuck do you want?" What? He has never talked like this to me before.

"Bill. I need you. I´m broken. I´m tired. I need somewhere to rest. I need a place to hide when Jake starts to look for me."

"Well, good luck then."

"Bill, please. I beg you. I need you."

"Your stuff is in the garage. The opener is under the red stone." His tone is so horribly curt and neutral.

"Oh, Bill..." But he has already hung up. I start to cry now. I´ve lost him. I feel totally devastated.

After a while, I compose myself enough to look under the red stone. There is the garage opener. I open the door. The garage is empty, all of Bill´s stuff is gone. Some cardboard boxes are piled in the middle. My stuff probably. I open two of them, pull some clothes out, throw them on the floor to create some kind of bed. I close the garage door, lie down on my clothes and start to cry.

Bill, January 15th, Monday, 6:00 p.m.

I dread the drive home. I suspect Kathy will be around somewhere. She sounded awful on the phone, really terrible. Being a whore was obviously not what she had expected it to be. I wish I could say that I didn´t care. Or worse, that it suited the bitch right. But it´s not that easy. I know that I won´t stand to see her suffer. Damn.

Her car is in her usual spot all right. But I can´t see her. The garage opener is gone. I check the house, it´s empty. We don´t know any of the neighbors very well. Okay, so probably she´s in the garage.

I open it with the other opener. And there she is, lying on a pile of clothes in the dark garage. She obviously has slept and is just awakening. She looks awful. She has been crying. A lot.

"Bill?" she says meekly.

"Yes."

"Please, help me," she pleads. She sounds weak and tired.

"Shit."

"Shit?"

"I don´t want your presence."

"Oh, Bill... Bill... I will do everything you want. But I need you to survive now. I need you. Please."

She crawls towards me and actually kneels at my feet and hugs my leg.

Aw, shit. That´s unfair. No man can stand this.

"Okay, then. Come on."

"Oh, thank you. You won´t be sorry. I won´t burden you."

"You already burden me right now. And I´m already sorry. But come on."

I lead her into the house. Well, shit. That much for changing the locks. I open the new ones myself only minutes after seeing her.

As we enter the house she looks around in wonder. As if seeing such a nice environment for the first time in her life. Then she turns around to hug me.

"Oh, no." I back off. "Don´t. You give me the creeps."

"Oh... Sorry." She looks like a beaten dog and a few tears start to fall.

"You want a hot tub?"

"Oh, Bill. You have no idea..."

While she´s in the tub, I try to come to grips with the situation. What can I do? I´ve hoped she would be gone from my life by now. I certainly don´t want to touch her. But her presence also still affects me. In a mostly, but not entirely negative way, I have to admit.

One thing I know for sure - the idea of touching her body is revolting.

So when she finally comes down the stairs, clad in a towel only, I´m not attracted at all. Although her body has lost nothing of it´s beauty.

"Bill, I´m sorry to bother you, but I don´t have any clothes in here."

What now? Bring her clothes back in? That would be the ultimate defeat after sabotaging my own plan to lock her out.

"I don´t need much. And you can throw me out any time."

"Okay. I will get you something." Shit.

As I carry a cardboard box into the guest room, I can hear her stomach growling. Shit. Am I supposed to fix a dinner?

"Thanks, Bill. And I´m going to do it."

"Do what?"

"Fix a dinner. I owe you that at least."

"Okay, but please put something on first."

"Okay."

Her clothes are quite mismatched and I can´t suppress a laugh. She sees it and laughs too. Shit. Warm feelings again. Shit. I don´t want this.

After the quite tasty dinner she excuses herself and goes into the guest room. After several minutes I peek in to check if she´s okay. She´s already sleeping. In her clothes, without a blanket.

Reluctantly I undress her, which she barely notices, and cover her up.

Kathy, January 15th, Monday, 9:00 p.m.

Shit, Bill has really shut me out of his life. This is going to be hard work. And I think my chances of winning him back are rather slim. He let me into his house just out of magnanimity, not out of love, affection or even friendship.

I try to get his interest by being clad in a towel only. And I have a good excuse for it as my clothes are still in the garage. I have to get Bill to bring them back into the house. It won´t help if I do it, it has to be his decision. Luckily, he brings one box back in. I choose a funny combination of clothes and get the much desired laugh from him.

Afterwards I manage to convince him that I fall asleep in my clothes on the guest bed. I hope he´s too nice to leave me here like this. And he undresses me like I´ve planned it. But disturbingly, he seems to avoid touching my skin. He almost acts like I´m dirty or have a disease. This little plan has backfired for sure.

Damn, how do I get him back?

Bill, January 16th, Tuesday, 6:30 a.m.

I´m not woken by my alarm clock this morning. Kathy wakes me with a peck on the cheek. I open my eyes and see that she is serving breakfast, naked. Damn, she looks good. Coffee, scrambled eggs, toast, everything.

"Thanks, Kathy. That´s very nice."

"My pleasure. You´d like to have a blow-job with the breakfast?"

I suddenly lose my appetite when I think about this. She must have read my face.

"Bill, I´m so sorry. Is the idea that disgusting for you?"

"Yes, I´m afraid so. After dozens of unwashed cocks in there? Not tempting at all. But I think I can eat my breakfast without throwing up if I don´t think about it."

She looks like she has been slapped.

"Um, Bill... Ah, I´ve wondered if you would mind if I stayed in your house for a short while? I don´t know where else to stay."

"You have a room in the whorehouse, don´t you?" My words almost cause her to cry again.

"Bill, I´m afraid I can´t go there. I just can´t, it´s physically impossible. It wasn´t at all as expected. Not a bit. It was a complete nightmare."

I sigh. "Okay, then stay for a while. But please don´t get in my way when I date other women. I need to get on with my life."

She starts to cry a little but tries to be strong nonetheless.

"Sorry, Kathy. Please understand. I need to be honest. I want to find and marry a decent, loving woman."

"I understand. Thanks for helping me. I know that I don´t deserve it. Bill, you´re the best. And I´m so very sorry about all of this." She´s still sobbing.

I eat my breakfast in silence. She tries not to be too obtrusive with her nudity. Maybe she has realized that her sexual advances will backfire.

"Bill, could we please put my car into the garage? I´m afraid Jake knows it and might find me if it´s still in the driveway. He will be searching for me from tomorrow on."

"Don´t drag me into your shit. I don´t want to mess with your pimp."

"Sorry, neither do I. I know that I have created this mess. I´m really sorry about this situation. I´ve really fucked everything up."

"We can´t put it into the garage. Your stuff is in there."

"Yes, I know. I will carry the boxes into the guest room if I may. You don´t need to do that."

I just grunt a little. I don´t know what to say.

I´m glad that I have to leave for work afterwards. She insists on clearing the breakfast dishes.

Kathy, January 16th, Tuesday, 8:00 a.m.

That didn´t go well. He was obviously repulsed by my naked body. That is bad, real bad. How can I win him back if he doesn´t want my body? Worse, if he finds it disgusting? If I dress like a nun, we will just be roommates for a limited time before he kicks me out. If I show him my body, he´s reminded of what I´ve done.

Damn, this whole thing went so horribly wrong. How could I possibly have been that dumb? I´ve taken the man that I love for granted and have lost him to pursue a dream that turned out to be a nightmare.

Okay, I have to stop moping around and have to get my stuff out of the garage. The car doesn´t really bother me. I think Jake has never seen it. But it´s a good reason to get my stuff into the house again. A small victory at least.

Afterwards I will clean the house and cook dinner. And I will do it perfectly.

Bill, January 16th, Tuesday, 6:00 p.m.

Her car isn´t in the driveway. So she took my grunt as an approval. That´s okay, I had been rather undecided about it. I doubt the Jake story but I can´t be sure.

The house looks clean as a whistle. Everything is in place, it almost looks like a furniture store. I can smell dinner. She´s definitely trying hard but I have expected no less. Nonetheless, I still have no hope for us.

Kathy appears, clad in a kind of maid´s outfit. It´s not overly sexy, just a little submissive. It looks hot without reminding me too much of her recent past.

"Hi Bill."

"Kathy, you look good."

"Really?" She smiles, poses and turns around.

"Yes. But that means nothing, sorry."

"I know. But I´m glad for what I can get. Dinner is ready, Bill."

"Oh yes, it smells delicious."

And it is delicious. She serves it in that outfit and refuses to eat anything. She even asks me if I want a blow-job under the table and I refuse again.

"Kathy, I will start to date other women soon. If you don´t want to be in the house while I do it, I will understand."

"Bill, I know that this will happen. I have brought this on myself. I won´t stand in your way. If it´s okay for you, I will stay in the guest room while you have a visitor. I will lock the door and try to make no sound."

"Okay."

Maybe she regards this as a kind of test or punishment, but it isn´t. I want to have a new woman in my life. I want to fall in love again. I want a woman to have a family with. And I don´t want Kathy to be that woman.

Her main goal is to win me back, I have no doubt about that. The sooner I get rid of her, the less painful it will be for both of us. Even letting her back into the house might have been a mistake.

I already have a date with Peg on Friday. I have to say that I´m positively surprised about the amount of interest the members of the opposite sex are showing since they know that I´m available again. I also have a date with Sue on Saturday. Both are very pretty women. And I have several other women hinting that they might be interested. Wow, who would´ve guessed?

Bill, January 19th, Friday, 5:00 p.m.

The week went by quite nicely. Very nicely, actually. Considering the circumstances. I could get used to have a submissive full time maid. Breakfast in bed every day, dinner always ready, a clean house. Blow-job offers twice a day, which I still refuse. She takes the refusal without a lot of fuss and it doesn´t keep her from asking again.

She has put her clothes into the wardrobes in the guestroom, as expected. This doesn´t change anything in the long run. If I kick her out, I will do it whether the damn clothes are in the garage or in the guest room. I can leave her this small victory.

After dinner I dress up nicely in a good suit. Kathy almost faints when she sees me.

"Oh my god. You look good enough to eat."

"Thanks, I have a date."

"I envy her. She´s going to get the most handsome man in town."

"Thank you. Don´t wait for me."

"I know. And if you return here with her, she won´t notice me."

"Thanks. Have a nice evening."

"You too." She tries to be brave but I can see she holds herself together just barely.

Kathy, January 19th, Friday, 6:30 p.m.

Be strong, Kathy. You knew this would come. Be strong. Smile. Be strong.

The door shuts. I collapse into tears.

So this is how me leaving for the whorehouse has felt for him. Only a thousand times worse. Because I left with the intention of being fucked by lots of men. By every man that was willing to pay a small sum for the usage of this fine man´s fiancée. And I had assumed that he would take it? In what kind of weird dream-world have I lived back then?

I´m even glad now that he hasn´t accepted it. It would have broken him. And I wouldn´t have liked the man it would have made of him. Every john would have humiliated and broken him a bit more. For just a few dollars.

Later that night I hear him return and also hear a high pitched, female voice.

Be strong...

Bill, January 19th, Friday, 11:30 p.m.

Peg is fun, she´s very easy on the eyes and she lifts my spirits. Nothing is complicated with her, everything is easy. I don´t have to consider my words. The time with her is incredibly relaxed.

We go to see a movie and dance a bit afterwards.

"Okay, Bill. I´ve made up my mind. I like you."

"I like you too." And I do. Although I have some doubts about her high pitched voice and her shrill laughter. Maybe I´ll need surgically implemented silencers in my ears. With the hearing equipment my mother has given me, listening to Peg is a little painful sometimes.

"I would really like to see your house."

"Oh, now that´s a brilliant idea. Let´s go."

It´s that easy. Like everything with her. I would just have to get used to her sounds. Her looks are very nice.

As we enter my house, she´s impressed by the tidiness. I feel a little bad about that because it´s mainly Kathy´s work.

And she´s fun in bed. Relaxed, trusting and open. We have a tremendous time. Only her shrill noises during sex are a little disturbing. And I have to admit that her breasts don´t measure up with Kathy´s. Not by a mile. But I could live with that, other aspects are more important.

She insists to leave at 2 a.m., not wanting to be intrusive. And I agree, glad to get rid of that voice.

Can I imagine to spend my life, listening to that voice? No, rather not. Not without frequent visits at the funny farm.

I knock at Kathy´s door. She immediately opens. Her face is dry, but I can see that she has been crying.

"Bill, I have an idea now of hard it was for you to let me go into that awful whorehouse. I´m sooo very sorry."

She turns around, obviously ashamed and falls into her bed, crying. She really seems to be genuinely contrite now. Quite a change from the bitch coldly announcing her new job. But it doesn´t change anything.

Bill, January 20th, Saturday, 7:30 p.m.

Today´s date will be Sue. She´s a really pretty lady. Not classy beautiful like Kathy, but quite cute.

I´m immediately attracted by her charming smile. But the conversation is a little tenser than with Peg. Sue is from a big family in a rural area in Mississippi. This is no problem for me. But it seems to contribute to our conversation being a little difficult. I soon learn to avoid cultural or political topics. She seems to be a little on the conservative side. Extremely conservative, in fact. On the other hand, I have problems to respond to her religious comments, which are quite frequent. And which match her rather timid clothing. I have no problems with religious or political conservative people. But the conversation with her is quite strained because she can´t seem to accept other opinions and always returns to these topics. Talking with her is as much fun as finding a way through a mine field.