All Comments on 'The Abyss Ch. 07-09: Mistress Anastasia'

Start to finish. Badly thought out garbage. Violence with no rhyme or reason.

No stars as even giving this trash one star would be an insult to the star.

The definition of "sadism" is "a sexual perversion in which gratification is obtained by the infliction of physical or mental pain on others (as on a love object)"

Justine is Mistress Anastasia's love object.

Mistress SWP is disappointed that the anonymous reader does not believe her work meets his/her literary standards but is satisfied that her work meets the definition of the BDSM category.

There is undoubtedly potential for a good story. But, this isn't one right now. It's just extreme pain. Yes, I know many people are masochists and they get turned on just by pain inflicted on then, but you should have given some in-depth approach to the characters. Why do they love pain? Why do they submit? Why someone submits to a rude person she just met? What about her feelings? A dom/sub (or slave) relationship is so much more than just whipping and unnecessary humiliation

You say "Justine is Mistress Anastasia's love object." but I'm afraid that is not at all what you bring across in the story. Quite the contrary, she seems to be Mistress Anastasia's pawn, a substitute for the original (Nicole) she didn't get. Anastasia's attitude comes across as selfish, narcisstic and the very opposite of safe, sane and consensual. And while adding layers of complexity can be cool, you already had a pretty complex arrangement of characters. Adding yet another dom-the-domme layer doesn't really add anything in my eyes.

Your comments are well taken. Remember, "The darkest hour is just before the dawn."

Ms SWP,

This is certainly an interesting story so far. It does give a lot of emphasis to the actual acts of the punishments themselves (which you do give fair warning of in each of your introductions) but as an evolving tale it has certainly captured my interest.

To improve the overall narrative, and perhaps help readers relate to your characters a little more, it might be a good idea to place more emphasis on some of the moments IN BETWEEN the acts of submission (it's length means this is more than just a stroke story afterall) .

Casual conversations over breakfast/lunch perhaps, or maybe a trip into town for shopping or to the park for a stroll. The characters can still remain in their respective Domme/sub roles, but seeing them interact outside of the specific BDSM acts would not only be refreshing but would perhaps give you the opportunity to develop each of the characters that bit more (flesh them out a bit). This should go some way towards addressing the issues raised by BloodyIdiot's comments.

Perhaps now that Justine will be spending some time away from two of this story's main characters (Mistress Laurine and Sasha) you will have room to include such scenarios.

The introduction of Mistress Anastasia in this chapter has certainly spiced things up. While I am inclined to agree with oli72 at this point and say that She shows no real love for Justine in this chapter (more a love for the ACT of sadism perhaps) this is perhaps understandable in that She's only just MET her. Her introduction does add another layer of complexity to your tale, and that's no bad thing - Mistress Anastasia clearly has issues of Her own to work through.

Also; seeing Mistress Laurine submit to a superior Domme was interesting, and more than a little erotic.

Looking back to how things began in your prologue, the woman formerly known as Justine (who is reflecting from the future at that point) has fully embraced the submissive/slave lifestyle there. So what happens between now and then to get her to that point? Just as importantly, who is the Mistress she ultimately ends up serving - Anastasia, Laurine, another..?

I look forward to finding out the answers in further chapters...

(echoe)

The last comment was well thought out. And I agree wholeheartedly.

Mistress SWP has a day job that interferes with a fuller exposition of these characters in order to get these chapters produced on a weekly basis. It takes between 10 and 15 hours to write and then proof and re-proof each installment (it may not seem that way, given the occasional error) but try writing a book quality story by yourself (and I recognize my work in not book quality)! Not so easy!

I love these characters and will make every effort to give this story the justice (or Justine?) that it deserves. In return all I ask is your continued constructive comments (which are excellent) and a tiny bit of encouragement. Mistress SWP does not appreciate anonymous disparaging comments when the author does not offer written work product himself/herself so that Mistress SWP can bow to their superior talents. Mistress SWP has a special toy box for those people.

Suffice it to say that Mistress Anastasia will get her just deserts.

Ms SWP,

Thanks for your response.

If I may offer a piece of advice - and I'm no writer so treat it how you like - then it would be in relation to the deadlines that you're imposing on yourself for submitting chapters.

You have been releasing chapters to this series on pretty much a weekly basis so far, and don't get me wrong - that's been great! It's always good to know that the next chapter isn't too far away as this helps to keep the story fresh in mind, which in turn helps to maintain a high level of anticipation for the next part (at least for me anyway).

However; I am aware that this is a series that you seem to be particularly enjoying writing and so, quite rightly, want to make it as good as possible. I am also conscious of the fact that, as you mention, you have to fit writing around your work and personal life...

What I'm saying is that I personally wouldn't mind waiting that little bit longer for a chapter if it meant that this extra time then gave you the opportunity to perfect things, resulting in a definitive version - one that you were absolutely satisfied with - being posted here.

Perhaps give yourself an extra two weeks on top of your current writing period for each chapter. This extra time could just make all the difference, as some drop-off in quality is otherwise surely inevitable (over time) with continued weekly deadlines.

The additional time might also allow you to refine some character development, which you hint at having had to partially sacrifice to date, without encroaching too much further on your own personal time.

Hope this has been helpful. I think that you're a good writer and I'm really grateful that you choose to share such erotic stories with us readers (free-of-charge no less). I wouldn't want to think that you're putting any unnecessary pressure on yourself, or missing out on any personal/play time, to do so though.

After all, you know what they say - all work and no play makes Mistress SWP a dull girl!

(echoe)

(These are my thoughts and not to be construed as speaking for the author) As to the "Dom the Domme" comment. Many years ago (in a land far away), before the internet, we had these secret clandestine places called Dungeons and some play was done in Leather Bars. The dungeons were a place for S&M practices, and at that time S&M did not mean "Stand and Model" like it does in today's world. While it wasn't a requirement, many Masters/Mistresses started at the bottom and in service to another. So that didn't surprise me at all.

Stealing another's slave was usually dealt with in a very harsh way, so that didn't surprise me. The fact that Mistress Anastasia claimed Justine as her own, was again no surprise. It was clear from the beginning that Anastasia was attracted to Justine. so again, once Anastasia established that Justine could handle what she dished out, it was an obvious choice for Anastasia to claim Justine. Again, no surprise to me.

I was slightly surprised that Anastasia said she would return Justine once Nicole had been returned. Most female Masters (Yes, in the Leather world there are many female identified Masters) and Mistresses I know would want nothing to do with Nicole at this point. So we will have to see how this plays out.

I am slightly concerned about all the loose ends that Justine left in the US. Maybe something will be done about that in the future.

I don't see anything wrong with the "lack" of shopping trips, loving lunches, etc., Yes I would like to see some of that, and yes most families (like ours), I know of do have that type of family relationship, but from the very first page, that never seemed to be a part of the equation. In fact, so much so that when Justine and Sasha first met Anastasia I was very surprised at how casually dressed they were. So that was in fact in the storyline.

Again, these are solely my observations, and have no actual bearing on the actual story line or the author's intent.

This story gets better and better. Still can't stop reading.

Hardware exchange ...... But i missed the signing of a contract ...... That would turn this trade into a real troubling or? ....... And now yeah the difference between a caning and a real caning or whipping or a real whipping or else, is the expereince from a dom person and easily to be acknowledged by the submissve

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