All Comments on 'The Accident Ch. 03'

Please continue writing. I think you could develop this into a really great long story. Go for it!

You have set the wheels in motion with this story and I'm sure you could extend the profiles of Jenny, Heather and Ruth-Anne

Is makes it a better story when the characters, scene and desires are slowly and in great detail revealed. It builds literary tensions. Great technique.

Keep going. The development of characters, motives and conflicts take time. This chapter could have been twice as long and that would have been good with me. The bedroom scene could have been included. Heather’s knock on the doors could have been the tease for the next chapter. Keep up the good work.

Good, so far with lots of potential.

Keep up the good work. Very good characters. More of same please.

Chapter 4, 5, etc

I will be expecting chapter 20, and all the other chapters in between.

Keep going!

I know that you wrote this many years ago, but I'm going to voice my opinion anyway. Longer is always better. I liked this chapter better than the first two because you DID actually work on the characters more. I did, however, have issues with the waitress taking time out for her tryst with Jenny. She wouldn't have been able to disappear for so long without being noticed. Jenny and the MC were not her only customers. But since this is fantasy, I let it go.

Giving Ruth Ann comeuppance was a nice touch. Making her sub for Jenny would be justice.

I agree with the consensus that longer stories are so much better. I know it has been many years since you posted this but on the off chance you do see this I wanted to say thanks for writing a fun and enjoyable story. I wish it would have been longer but the I generally feel that way about most of the stories I enjoy.

Lexx