All Comments on 'The Accidental Lesbian'

What you need to remember when you write, is the first person you write for is yourself. Never let others tell you something is too long, or not necessary to the story, unless you feel that way yourself. The only way you can write stories that ring from the heart is to be true to that heart.

Having said that, this was a great story, and my only complaint is that you've pretty much sealed it off from sequels...

I felt i understood the pain and would like to say well done

but once I started reading, I was unwilling to stop. Excellent work, story teller.

I started reading it because the title interested me... but wow, what a great story. Well written and very thoughtful... the author is wonderful...

throughly enjoyed it and yes, ive known

a bad ass johnson or two in my life ...

very nice all the way around

Abso-Fucking-Lootley Awesome!

Very Well Done. Loved the character development and contectual settings.

Flyer Ed

Best kind of story yet.

Great outcome and an even better putdown of the P C Crowd.

Thanks

From the neighborhood you used.

your detail was excellent, and I liked the fact that you focused on more than just the lust of it.

Keep up the good work

I too started readng this because of the title but by the time of the coffee incident, I was hooked. Was it the most erotic story I've read? No. But never can I recall a story here where the characters interested me, intrigued me, or made me care about them as these did. Even the deceased colonel made me want to get to know him. Lengthy? Perhaps. But wordy? No way. The pain Dana felt when she asked for permission to kill herself, I felt too. And taking the time to take us back to explain what happened and how definitely helped bring Dana to life. Just an overall excellent job. Steve.

and i mean that.

A real story with a damn good plot.

Keep going..

i'm also from kc and the way you told the story made me follow along going right with the characters. great story line great plot, and great finish!! bravo!

OUTSTANDING I enjoyed it and never mind the "long" parts it kept the story enjoyable.

The only way this could be considered long is if someone wasn't paying attention. It may be totally fictitious, but once I began reading, it was real. That's the way real people are. It was especially real in that you made the girls players in the story. They loved and trusted their mom. They realized that what she and Dana were doing was good and that was good enough for them.

I believe that you've set the table for as far and in whatever direction you want to take this. Becca went so far as to express her own sexual inclinations early on. Her sisters have happily accepted their mom and Dana's relationship. They don't need to be seduced. Whichever way they go, it'll come naturally. And old "Bad Ass Bob" has got to be in heaven smiling approvingly.

So please take it from here.

Semper Fi. I was lucky enough to do a tour with the jarheads as a Navy Corpsmen. They are an odd, rare breed with a spirit few outsiders will ever understand. You have managed to capture some of that. Thanks.

I loved the character development. The story line was well managed. Keep writing.

Pleasure to have read this tale. There was some definite substance here.

excellent storyline - not too long at all, great characterisations.... Ahh has made me all warm & fuzzy inside, love a happy ending!!

This really is an awesome story and I will tell you that there is a good portion of the readers here (me included ;-) ) who rank the character development as high or higher than the sex. So when you write more for us, think about the audience you're aiming for, and ignore comments from the people you're not trying to please. (Unless you're trying to please all of us, in which case... good luck. You're going to need it.)

Just keep writing! You're exactly the kind of author I love to read.

Very well written, accurate and believable.

Thank you for a fine piece of Literotica.

wow that was a great story. great plot and character development/back-story overall one of the best stories I've read so far.

sloth

loved your story having been in the army for a long time I know about loneliness and isolation, and even for a straight old I was touched by your story.

Loved the storey line and the characters, felt so right and believable. Will be waiting to see what happens from here about all of the characters.

Rodger

I've read this story half a dozen times or so since I first found it. I really like your story-telling. The part I keep coming back for is where the Colonel calls, "Regimental Sergeant Major," and controlled hell breaks loose. You nailed it. The sexual encounter between Dano and Terry is sweet, edgy and feels incredibly real. And the flashback, Dano's and Theresa's reactions, and, seriously who writes about anything happening in KC? It's an awesome story. One of the best.

I enjoyed the ease at which Dano and Terry came together at the start and how they worked through Dano’s insecurities. I especially loved that Terry is so take charge in everything else but submits to Dano’s passion.

Keep on writing. And thanks for sharing.

IDB.

...That hasn't already been said?

This was not a straight into action porno plot, it was a short story with characters and direction and wirh, incidentally, a little hot and horny lesbian action hidden away inside. There was build up, there was reason, there was purpose behind each character, and there was the punch line.

Perfect.

Whilst I too would enjoy hearing about what happens next this should be it. Finito. Why guild the lily? Slap too much icing on the cake and the whole lot just becomes flabby and collapses. But...you could fill it out, add flesh to the characters, give us a hint of what their lives were like in the three days or at work, that sort of thing. You don't need to worry that people would think it too long because those people don't want a story, they are just looking for a way to assist them jerking off. Your more discerning readers would welcome this padding, I am sure, and maybe you have the basis for a full length screanplay or net novel.

Give it a try.

Lexie

A beautifully written short story, plus hot lesbian sex... :)

Oh my giddy-odd. I absolutely loved this story. I wish there was a little more, but meh, what are you gonna do. What I loved most was getting to know the characters. I felt that really helped the story along even though learning about Dana a little late in the story. But again, what are you going to do. I wish there was a sequal to it. Keep it up.

Loved the story. I'll confess I found parts of the narrative a bit too facile, a bit too pat. I'd have expected more struggle on Theresa's part in accepting and acting upon her attraction to Dana, even more on the part of the kids accepting their mom's new sexual relationship. Despite those issues, the emotions rang true and I found the story moving.

But the best part for me was being transported back to the comfortable environs of Johnson County. I haven't lived in that part of the country for a long time, but your story had me cruising those familiar streets again and reliving some treasured memories. Thanks for that.

OoooRAH. Who could ask for more?? Sounds like my step-daughter and her wife. one was a Marine and one was Army. But they were enlisted. I loved the story and feel for the Gunny. Flashbacks are frightening. Really good job. Would love to see you expand on the relationship with the daughters and how they cope with Mom getting laid every night.

I loved it all, until the end where you trashed lesbians who are politically active. Theresa and Dana aren't - fine. But you presented the scene in a way that sneered at those who are. If you're going to use us for your sexual pleasure, at least have enough respect to not trash the different viewpoints in our community.

Great story of a lesbian relationship in a military family. I prefer stories that avoid the activism and politically correct repetitions of political lesbianism. These characters came across as people and not as cardboard cutouts; not all lesbians come from liberal households. My compliments on an excellent story.

I think you need to do more research on the military. "Aye, aye" is a Naval response. A Marine would not respond to a command or question in the same way. Also, you painted a portrait of a widow who seems to think she's a former First Lady. The widow of a Colonel does not have as much power or authority as Teresa seems to think she has.

Anonymous left the following comments on 26 Feb 15:

I think you need to do more research on the military. "Aye, aye" is a Naval response. A Marine would not respond to a command or question in the same way. Also, you painted a portrait of a widow who seems to think she's a former First Lady. The widow of a Colonel does not have as much power or authority as Teresa seems to think she has.

According to my retired USMC Master Gunnery Sergeant father-in-law and my Lance Corporal son, "Aye, Aye" is used by Marines to acknowledge orders as, for a good deal of their history, the Marines were a division within the Navy & though they have always had a commandant, it was not until they were recognized as their own service - though still under the Secretary of the Navy - that the commandant, a 4 star, sat on the Joint Chiefs as a Chief in his own right and not simply as an advisor to the Navy Chief.

I'm sure you are aware that Marines use Navy terms in their service life: a door to the Army or Air Force is a Navy hatch. A floor in the Army et al, is a Navy deck. Instead of seeing my son's graduation from boot at MCRD San Diego, he marched in Parade with his company, on a parade deck and NOT a parade ground. The Army and Air Force has latrines. The Navy (& Marines) have heads. For one to "hit the head," is just as much a Marine declaration as any Squiddy's.

"Sir, Yes Sir!" is used to answer an interrogatory by a superior, whether an NCO Marine or a Navy admiral.

As to the widow, well, first, this is a story. Fiction.

But, the Navy LCDR widow, with her own power base at the Navy Yard or Pentagon, married to & then widowed to a powerful full bird, has, as a Gunny once told me, "a little suck and a little pull." Call it politics, call it networking, it's amazing for any person familiar with the military NOT to know that such power relationships exist.

Where I really made a mistake - that you apparently failed to catch - is that with the Corps' tight overall TO&E, my "seasoned Gunny" (E-7) is too young to be more than a Staff Sergeant (E-6) ALTHOUGH I have reliable sources within the Corps that tell me in certain MOS's and certain billets, under extraordinary circumstances, the lower ranking NCO may "leap" some time-in-grade requirements. Similar, in a small sense, of a Sergeant (any grade) getting a battle field commission to a Second Lieutenant.

All that said, thank you for reading. :-)

Very well done It brings light onto a lot of problems of acceptance.

Greatly enjoyed this story, liked the family dynamics! Well written.

This was a great piece of writing with some nice character development. Hope to see more great stuff from you

I want the next five pages please.

Very well written! Thank you!

This is my second time through it, and I loved it even more this time. Great story about two people who find each other, and overcome personal hardships. Thank you for sharing it with us!

You're a very good writer so don't let anyone tell you your story is too long, too short, not funny or sexy enough UNLESS they're giving you a check for a lot of money. That's one of the beauty's of being a writer... it's your story and you're telling it! As for spelling, punctuation,grammar, syntax, etc., it's simple! Use "Spell/Grammar Check" or get an Editor.

Looking forwar to more stories.

not real sure how you can be a Accidental Lesbian, but I am sure there is a way I though this was not too long, I thought it was just right and the parts where Dana knew her husband was a good touch

Great story and well written. MORE of this.

Too right I will, has I have read it so often, I lost count.

Maybe do a sequel on Theresa's children, find their perfect girlfriend or wife (if not 'In Love' with their sister) because I always thought that Theresa will lose Dana to her oldest every time I read this at a couple of points.

Your story could have been twice the length and I would have been ecstatic. The problem with too many stories on Literotica is that they rush headlong toward blistering sex scenes without fully developed characters. You did a very nice job in avoiding this unfortunate mistake. I enjoyed your work immensely and would love to see a sequel(s) involving Becca and her time at the Academy.

You've either served or you're an Army brat!! Good read! Great Story! It could have

been longer; but, it didn't need to be. It could not have been shorter! Incredible

characters and great development. I'm begging for a sequel. Thank you for sharing this short, but deep, story with us.

What a power story with strong, realistic characters. It was a great mix of the reality that so many of some of our soldiers go through after their horrific experiences in combat and the wonderful, passion and sex that the two main characters shared.

This to me was a very powerful story.

I thought it was one of the best , and if someone

doesn't like it because there was not enough sex

they need to look somewhere else.

The accidental meeting on the road was cute, and the followup with the spilled coffee was fine. But if Theresa's attraction to Dano was based on a perceived similarity to Bad Ass Bob, that cuts very very deep. I think proceeding thru a meeting with the kids straight to sex on the first date is getting intensely personal extremely fast, and doesn't make sense. It would take almost anybody some serious "getting to know" time before they could feel like they weren't disrespecting Bob's memory by fucking right away. And Dano really needs time to grieve her Marine mentor. She has barely realized the guy is dead, and she's fucking his wife already?? Sorry, unless both of them are high on Ecstasy and booze too, it's just not normal for them to fuck. Also, Becca's flirting and wish to seduce Dano is creepy, inappropriate and warrants some discussion with Theresa to get the ground rules settled first.

Too much to do, all people with integrity would devote some time and effort to these important personal and family issues before putting pleasure-seeking at a high priority.

Succinct lovely story well written, can't ask for much more. More power to your fingertips.

Loved it! Most stories with military references really make a hash of it but you obviously know what you're talking about it and that made a good story great. Thank you!

For me, the discussions about sex did come too fast, and the action in bed too - pretty brutal and visceral. The military part was too big a chunk - sorry - but it's obvious you know what you're talking about there. But let's overlook both the above because it's a powerful and heartfelt story, coming alive off the page(screen): a fine piece.

This story is one of my favorites. Can't count how many times I have come back to this for another great read. Thanks for your wonderful story!

Excellent. Love will find a way. Screw the press, they don’t care about people.

as a vetran of viet namn, great story.

Thought the story was well written and addressed the stress of combat well (never having been in it myself). The only issue I have about the story is the first dinner they had and then the sleep over. Seems a little much for a first timer to jump into bed on first date with kids in same house and they go screaming while having sex. That was a stretch. It would have been much more believable if you could have stretched the whole dating thing out a bit.

Still, 5/5

J

Beautiful story…you could have built the getting together a bit more… perhaps add one or two dates before the sex… the girls role and feelings could be developed a bit more…loved the openness of her children to her feelings and needs… the frank talking and involving her children….for me definitely 5+ you are a very talented writer…

I gave your story five stars. It had character development and characters with personalities beyond 'hot horny woman suddenly craves pussy'. I hate those stories, with their generic, walking, talking boob delivery systems. This was a proper story.

Entertaining

FYI - Wandering is NOT the same as wondering. Wander is roaming around- wonder is awe inspiring

Your ztory hit all the buttons. Loved it start to finish. Keep writing please. I love well developed stories

Not to long, sir, could have been longer.

Oppose the war, support those who served - ours as well as yours.

5*, thanks for sharing.

Dion (UK)

This is a story that peaks my interest! I am an Army Brat and the story is totally exclusively a lot of IFS. If this, If that....

I liked the story all the way through. It was entertaining and also was a lot of war!