by TNWTBOD
too much financial stuff. Also, a bllion dollars? The record for powerball is less than a third that. So... 100 million would have been better.
As for the not enough... When you finally get to the sex, it's hot enough, but not what I was expecting after chapter one.
room for improvement. Looking forward to a better chapter 3.
It's very nice to see a new chapter and I really hope your personal situation has made a turn for the better. Thanks for your efforts to entertain me!
Love this series. Amazing story can't wait for more.
Unfortunately it looks like I'll have to wait but hopefully tiger and jake will help fill the void.
i like all your stories but your characters are so blandly moral that they are kind of annoying to read about. honestly, what teenager is going to give away that much money on patents they worked for? i could see splitting it more towards her favor but only taking 5k out of an almost 200k endeavor is not realistic at all. it
should have been more like a 70/30 split than zeke just taking scraps. still, good story
Fantastic story! Don't change the attitude of Zeke, love the way he thinks! Bring on the next chaps can't wait !
this is going to be good! just don't leave us like Intrepid fate and I think you will get something of a cult following :P
Your two chapters both have numerous flaws. One to start with that really pissed me off was the fact that you didn't even research that ozone is in fact not made up of CO3, but is made up of O3. Even if it were made up of CO3, you can not simply "introduce an oxygen" to CO2 emissions to solve global warming and reduce carbon footprint. This also would never get rid of heat signature as in fact the heat signature comes from your hot combustion engine not the fact that it releases CO2. Even if you would have just left it at "reverses ozone emissions and reduces carbon footprint" without saying anything technical that would have been fine. There were many more errors. Please, please, please get an editor for common sense edits or do some research instead of just spouting facts.
hey don't worry about what idiots are saying on here if they don't like what you are doing well they don't have to read it plze don't disappear again I really want some more of your stories
I like what you have written so far keep up the good work. I agree that you should ignore the people that do not like your stories. If your scores are high then they are in the minority and will probably are unhappy with anything they read. Some people just like to bitch and unfortunately this gives them an open forum. This is fiction and should be a relief from real life. If they don't like it let them read non-fiction
Loved it hope you get back to it soon it sounds like you have 3 or 4 story's going at once must be hard
love all your stories.
Keep the chapters for them coming.
Great writing.
Can't wait for the next instalments... This is way too awesome..... And what about ur other stories??? You know your keeping ur audience waiting......
Come on, please!!! You shouldn't be making us wait a long time. The stories are wonderful and I've been waiting for the past two months hoping the next chapter would come. You are really quite an imaginative person and I appreciate your woork done here. I hope to see another session of sex soon too...
I really want to read the nxt 1 all your stories are awesome wish there were more hope the nxt 1 comes out soon
i posted a critique about your story and shortly after there were others saying you should ignore anyone with anything bad to say about your writing. i agree with them in so much as you should ignore people blindly bashing you and having nothing constructive to say, but it would be folly to outright ignore those who like your story but could see you doing better. you are a phenomenal writer but your characters still need polishing.
they told him he should stop doing what he enjoyed doing.steve jobs was apple ,if you don't know apple look in the stock market.write your stories your way please.
Since there is obviously a new submission, in another story, the author is still around and still writing. Therefore the only thing to do is to ask nicely that this story does not get either forgotten or abandoned. It's just too good a story to deserve that ignominious fate.
I hope there is a new chapter soon bc u submitted a new chapter in the other series... all your series r awesome... hope u continue writing
Thanks for all the wonderful stories you've written. I hope you are working on a new addition to this story since i quite enjoyed the plot and would love to see where it goes from here.
Hope you keep writing and all the best to you :-)
you write wonderful but you never finish any story i like every story you write and would like to see more chapters of them
So far this is the story about how at least two women are going to have their heart broken and a guy who lets his lust lead him by the nose. Money more important than the god who gave it to you? Sleep with the first person who shows interest in you after your powers and who is also betraying her sister? Yep this dude is blandly moralistic! If you think this is a moral guy, get new morals, your a scum bag.
This is a great series, but you really need to write more chapters.
yes please write some more chapters for this one i love it so far and would to find out your the kind of writer to leave people hanging on
Good story. But does Zeke shower all the time ? Seems a good start for a harem story.
Argh! Won't take long? It's been years! 10 years. Please come back and finish this story.
Thanks