The All or Nothing Game

"A lot in initiation for you on this journey, ain't it?" Daren guffawed. His wife Bella slapped him on the hand and turned to Eva.

"Don't mind the buggers; just let them know when enough is enough!"

An hour later the general mood was mellow. They had started to play and more food and drink were carried to their table when a small commotion out in the bar, made Eva apprehensive. Before she knew it, Julian stood in the entrance to the inner room, framed by the glimmering beads in the drapery. She quickly looked around. She could see that Bo, Rupert and Klaus looked genuinely surprised but Steven flashed a smile towards the man in the door, pulled himself out of the chair and extended a hand towards Julian.

"Would you mind or am I crashing your party?" Julian asked sweetly enough.

"C'mon on in, plenty of room here," Steven answered coolly and another chair was brought up to the table.

Julian sat down just opposite Eva. When he caught sight of her, a soft smile hovered over his lips and his steely eyes glimmered just faintly in the low light. Eva looked him into the eyes in return and wondered wildly how he had found his way here, unless someone had told him where to find them. Yet he wasn't going to reveal any secrets tonight; she could see that in his eyes. He had some beer and liquor too and lent back on the chair and drew a deep sigh. He whispered something in Steven's ear, and Steven nodded in agreement. Daren introduced his wife to Julian who was full of suave chivalry during the greetings. Eva couldn't help smiling. It was in a way so fun seeing how he could switch on whatever person he wanted and needed for any situation, but of course at the same time that notion was a very disquieting one too.

Julian borrowed Klaus' spare guitar and joined in on the music which was a classical blues now, and Eva didn't know its name, only that it was most fitting for the night and the mood.

An hour later Eva went to the rest rooms and to reach them she had to go out through the main bar. Being two in the morning, it was rather quiet in there. There were a couple of tables occupied over in a corner with a similar party going on as on their side and only two new customers at the bar desk. Well, perhaps not so new after all. Eva recognized Julian's two bodyguards. They looked very noncommittal — if that now was a better word to describe it, than bored. Eva smiled as she slipped by them. Happy with that she didn't need that kind of protection in her life.

At three in the morning they thought it would be time to quit finally. There was after all a show which was going to happen later on this night, even if it was still far away. It wasn't going to be an arena show this time but a smaller session at the very famous Wiltern Theater in Los Angeles. It would only fit some 2,000 spectators, and the tickets had been sold out already a year ago within an hour after they were released. As they rose from the table, Julian went over to Steven.

"New playing ground this night. Rehearsals to begin at three sharp in the Wiltern. OK?"

Steven nodded and went about ordering taxis. They got one car to start with and were told that they would have to wait for the second for a while.

"I can take Eva in my car," Julian said, and before she had time to give her opinion on this decision, he had taken her arm in a firm yet gentle grip. She found that she couldn't make herself free without starting a scene in there, and that was the last thing she wanted. So she followed him out, seemingly obedient, into the quiet dark-blue night. The bodyguards had brought the car to the entrance and followed him out. Eva looked at the sumptuous vehicle with its black windows. It looked enormously sinister, and she felt like being swallowed up by an unknown entity, entering inside it. It carried a very discreet luxury with grey soft leather; a kind of bolstered seats, which one sank through rather than sat on. Looking through the darkened glass from the inside, Eva realized that she could look out, but no one could look in — that was the idea. The two guards went into the front of the car, and Julian slid shut the glass-pane which divided the front from the back of the car. Eva wondered if this was the same kind of glass — see-through from one side and oblique from the other — and when she asked Julian about it, he merely nodded. Then he settled over in one corner of the spacious back seat and stretched out his long legs, his face hidden in the semi shadows. Eva fell back against the seat and felt a kind of vertigo. It had been such a long day, not to mention the night. Yes, she had also had one tequila too many. She hoped she would at least get some hours of sleep before the next night dawned on her.

"So, my Little Red Riding Hood, how do you fancy your tour so far? Is it all that you expected?" he asked from over at his corner.

Eva turned her head towards the Woolfe sitting there, so close to her and yet so far away.

"Yeah, I think so," she smiled, "I do fancy what I'm experiencing, but it is not at all what I expected. It is something very, very different."

"I'm going to kiss you," he said and his voice was very cool and low. "That is what one is expected to do in the back seat of a car. And I want to very much."

And before she had time to protest and say that she definitely NOT was the kind of girl who kissed ANYONE in the back seat of a car, he had leaned forward and reached out for her. He drew her into a tight embrace and looked down into her face where her dark blue eyes, now wide-open, met his gaze. She was grave now and pale, and her lips started to tremble before he bent down over her and covered her mouth with his; hot, demanding, devouring lips closed over hers and sucked at her mouth almost viciously before letting go. He drew his head back a bit to look at her face again, taking in her shocked expression and her now half-open lips, glistening from the kiss. Then he sought her again, licking the contours of her mouth, meeting her tongue with his, biting her. She grabbed hold of the collar of his jacket to steady herself because the world was turning around so fast. She wanted to end this awful, sweet and intoxicating moment because she didn't know how she would face what was to happen when it was over. She prayed wildly for that they would soon reach her hotel. She prayed for that he would remain silent, so that she could pretend that this was a dream and that it had never happened. He threw his head back and hugged her even closer, stealing a hand down to one of her soft breasts. His touch made her go shakingly weak, and she started to tremble in his arms. Then she heard the brakes of the car go into motion and realized that they were slowing down. The little loudspeaker, which connected the front of the car to the back, clicked and a voice announced the name of her hotel. She managed to disengage herself from him and looked at his hooded eyes and soft mouth, still wet from the kiss. She got an almost sinking feeling to her stomach and wondered how she would manage to get out of the car and into the hotel without help. He bent his head a little and looked steadily at her. There were both mockery and passion in his face, and something unfathomable which she dared not even try to understand or put a name to.

"So, there is after all a crack in that armor of yours," he whispered softly as she backed out of the car. "See you later tonight, Red!"

**********

When Eva woke up in her hotel room around ten in the morning, she felt weak and disheveled somehow, as if getting out of bed would be the hardest thing she had done in all her life. She had hoped for that last night — or rather this early morning — would be shrouded in clouds of forgetfulness, but unhappily it wasn't so. She stopped in front of the mirror and looked vacantly at herself, not really seeing the image at all. She remembered every detail of his burning kiss, and when she did she felt faint again and wondered dismally what she should do. She didn't WANT their relationship to change, she didn't WANT to be anything but his employee, she didn't WANT to fall in love with him.

"Let's hope that he was more drunk than me," she muttered to herself. "Maybe his memory is a bit hazy concerning this morning. I will be very businesslike when I meet him today. I won't arrive too early, giving us any time for discussions."

"By the way," she continued her line of reasoning with herself after a brief pause and now turning directly to her pale mirror-image. "Maybe you're painting the devil on the wall. Maybe it's conceited even to think that this is an issue. Maybe he kisses all women he takes into that car. Why would you be so special?"

During the morning and early afternoon, she repeated it all like a mantra.

**********

Eva arrived at the Wiltern around eight in the evening. Tonight he would be the only one on stage, and the show was to begin at nine. She found her way to the dressing room area behind the stage in this beautiful and graceful building. She loved being here. It really had a great atmosphere. She had taken a taxi to the theater which she shared with Maryka, and however much she wanted to engage in small talk she found it impossible. There was the most icy silence in the car. Eva was totally certain of that Maryka knew that Julian had been out last night in the company of the band and herself, and that Maryka was dying to know what had happened, yet she couldn't bear asking any questions. Eva absolutely refused to enter Julian's premises tonight in the company of Maryka. Therefore, she invented a pretext of wanting to survey the theater before going to Julian and gave Maryka the possibility of seeing him alone for at least fifteen minutes. When Eva finally stood by his door, she heard them talking in there and she made a point of making quite a loud entrance to warn them of her arrival, should they be engaged in any sensitive discussion. When Eva entered Maryka left, ostensibly.

Julian greeted her with the same bland pleasantness as usual. In no way did he indicate that what had happened this early morning had any bearing on their future relationship. Eva was both relieved and disappointed to start with, but she soon realized that he was as aware of the major change which had taken place as she was. She caught him looking at her when he thought that she had her mind on other things, and it was a look of scrutinizing and intense interest. Her inside was a turmoil, and she didn't know how to deal with her feelings, yet she tried to remain as calm on the outside as possible. She felt that she was angry too. Why had he spoilt what they had built between them? They needed to trust each other for this job to be done, and he had changed that balance. The bloody bastard! Who did he think he was? And who did he think SHE was? Maybe one of his many groupies perhaps? Who would swoon and accept anything for the glory of being kissed by their super star? Well, he was in for something then. She wasn't anyone to be picked up at random and used as a toy. The mere thought made her cheeks flush.

Eva had set her whole array of bottles and brushes on the table and started working with the tools with speed and under total silence. She worked up the shadows under his prominent cheekbones to make his face appear even thinner than it was. She accentuated his eyebrows and chose an eye makeup to suit the color he was wearing for the evening. She marked his mouth so that it would be visible far out in the crowd waiting for him now and accentuated his nostrils for the same reason. By now he had closed his eyes and almost seemed to doze a bit, but she wasn't fooled by that. To be able to get the best possible access to his face, she had moved in between his legs, and she could feel the muscles in his thighs, hard and knotted, ready for a leap. He was preparing to launch himself on the stage; to capture and conquer it.

She had finished with his face and she prepared to move around him to start with his hair. However, before she had time to withdraw fully, he opened his eyes and stretched out at hand, casually touching her hip. She moved away with just the tiniest movement, barely visible to the eye, and raised her eyebrows in a silent question.

"Will you be watching tonight? I've reserved a special area close to the stage at the left hand side and there is room among the other guests," he said.

She had now moved behind him with her brushes and spray.

"Thanks," she said. "Don't know though. I usually watch the show together with Martin and I haven't decided with him about this evening. I'll ask him. Is he also welcome to join, if so?"

And for the first time during the evening they looked into each other's eyes in the mirror in front of him.

"No," he answered flatly.

"Oh well, why?" she asked as color started to flush her cheeks.

"If I invite Martin, I'd have to invite all the other roadies too, and you know that this is impossible. Well, shall I issue a pass for you?"

She felt furious now and yet she wanted so much to watch this particular show, and in the end she surrendered and hated herself for it.

"Yes, please," she murmured. And she saw him smirk a little as he picked up a cell phone and ordered a pass for her.

When she was finished with him, he rose from the chair to survey the costume for the evening. It was smart and very elegant made out of the subtlest material which shimmered when he moved. It was in dark silver, and to match it he had chosen a black shirt. As she didn't want to be present when he changed, she started hastily to pick up her things and put them back in the suitcase. When she straightened up he was suddenly there in front of her, his face close to hers. He touched her chin lightly and subtly forced her to raise her face to him. Then he let his long, slender fingers caress her cheeks, ever so lightly.

"OK Riding Hood, off you go. Enjoy the show."

He looked fully at her with mocking and soft amusement and she vibrated inside yearning for the next touch, hatred because she let him run the show and confusion over the violence in her feelings. She also knew that he took it all in, before he released her and let her run out of the room.

When Eva turned up among Julian's specially invited friends in the theater that night, Maryka turned around from the party she was addressing and stopped talking for a second or two. Eva thought that Maryka looked as if she were on her way over to make a comment. Then Maryka evidently spotted the pass card in Eva's hand and as quickly as she had turned, she swirled back toward her company, presenting an apprehensive back to Eva. Eva couldn't care less. The only thing she worried about was ending up on the wrong side of the fence with this lady. She couldn't really afford that.

It was a marvelous concert, and Eva especially enjoyed the smaller and more intimate setting. The songs seemed yet again to come out differently. She heard talk around her of some sort of reception or party which was going to take place after the show, an occasion where she wouldn't turn up. Above all, Julian hadn't mentioned any such reception to her or included a note about it on the pass which she had received. Secondly, tomorrow they would be flying to Tokyo, a journey which would last all day, and she realized that she needed as much sleep as possible. So, when the last song was about to finish and the public was already standing up and stamping on the floor making the whole room vibrate, Eva quietly stole out of the theater and hailed a cab to get back to the hotel.

She wanted to get into contact with Granny — or at least send a message to her — before leaving for the East. She had faithfully told Granny of all her experiences during the tour so far — except for last night, and she wasn't going to trouble Granny with this incident. It was to be her guilty secret. Back in her hotel room she curled up in the bed and switched on her phone. There was indeed a message from Granny, and she felt happy and light of heart when reading it. Granny told about all the things happening on the farm, now in the autumn. Granny's vivid account of every little detail in the quiet life stood out before Eva's eyes in all its glory, and she relished being able to take part in all these so familiar things, reminding her of that she had a home to go to, if she ever needed one. There were a couple of messages from friends too. While she was in the process of reading, one more message popped in. She saw that it was from Julian. Her heart made a leap inside, and she looked at it for a long, long time. She threw a glance at her watch. Was he still in the theater, dressing for the party? Or had he skipped the whole thing? But he couldn't well do that? Could he? She opened the message at last.

"This place overlooking the whole of the glittering city of angles," he wrote, "has all the facilities in the world — among them a set of portable comps in the library to use at one's liberty — so I thought I couldn't miss out on sending a mess to you. It seems I forgot to tell you about the party after the show — I'm always expecting people to know all these details in advance and/or I'm getting to be frightfully forgetful these days. (Mea Culpa!) Be how it may, I guess you are a wise girl who has gone to bed in view of tomorrow's ordeal.

See you, Red, under the Sakura trees!

Oyasumi!

(and I'll save you looking it up in Google; it means Good Night!) ;-)

Julian"

She looked at the message for a long time, and her mouth was all dry. What on earth was she going to do with this dangerously fascinating man who was stealing into her life and wouldn't take no for an answer? What did he want from her? She wished intensely that Granny was here with her for comfort and for answering all her weary questions. On that note, and tightly clutching her black sheep to her bosom, she fell into a troubled sleep at last.

**********

Yes, it was a very, very long journey and so tiresome. Eva had never made that flight over the Ocean, and although it took place in a Jumbo it felt crowded and claustrophobic. She didn't see Julian at all during the long trip. He traveled in the VIP section of course while she was in economy class. She shared a seat for four with Steven, Klaus and Daren. Rupert and Bo were on the seats across the aisle. Somewhere halfway, perhaps above Hawaii, she lost count of how many films they had shown and how many meals which had been served and she fell into a brief sleep. Steven nudged here a bit later and grinned in her face when she peered at him.

"We've just crossed the dateline and we've lost a whole day!"

"Oh, Steven, come on, was that something to wake me up for," but she laughed nonetheless.

Now she couldn't go back to sleep. There were still several hours to go before reaching their destination. Hours to kill and suffer through. The flight between Los Angeles and Tokyo took around twelve hours effectively. Yet as journeys go, this was of course just the basic price to pay. Added to it came the trip to and from the airports, the waiting to board and to move through check-ins, checkouts and customs. No doubt this would account for another six hours to be added to the actual flight, and perhaps that wasn't enough. Before she had finally reached her hotel, she would have been traveling for close to twenty hours most likely. She was both tired and restless already. She knew she was traveling "with the sun" meaning that when she arrived in Tokyo, there wouldn't be more than roughly five hours of difference if she looked at her watch. However, as Steven said she had lost a whole day in the wake of it. In Tokyo people would be starting to prepare for dinner or for an evening out. Her body would just want her to go to bed and sleep and sleep for hours. She was very happy with that no big concert was planned for the first two days, thus giving them time to catch up a bit. She knew though that on the second day there was a big press conference scheduled which was to be broadcasted in Japanese TV. She reckoned that she would have to be present and to do the makeup for this particular session. At least she would have one day off.