All Comments on 'The Anniversary'

Very nice and deceitfully erotic

Dear 32B_minus,

a wonderful new take on the strip search story genre. I recognized your handle from Lakewoods group, so I knew/hoped the the buildup would lead to a thoroughly humiliating strip-search. Kudos.

Despite the great story, I hope you do not take offense in me giving some (hopefully) constructive criticism:

- Ash setting up her friend could have been a little more eleborate than just inducing them to jaywalking. I know, it's hard to come up with a good conspiracy.

- As Jay fantasized about Lindsay being shaved, it would have been a nice touch implying that the girls will get a close shave during the processing or at least before they have to perform in the Titty Bar.

- It would have been more realistic if Ash would have joined Jay at the window and told him about the unfolding events in person. Three women being put through processing is enough and it would have been nice to describe Ashs reaction when Jay realized how she obtained such detailed knowledge of the procedures.

- No critique, just some comments about my own fetishes regarding WIP: I think it's hot to imagine that the three girls will be tattooed in prison for a lasting memory of them so blatantly breaking the law or that their heads will be shaved after they have served their time.

Hoping for new stories,

Melanie

Great start for the story. Can't wait for the next part