All Comments on 'The Asylum'

I'm guessing English is not your first language because of the many egregious grammatical errors. Run-on sentences, along with sentence fragments, missing verbs, misspellings and incorrect word choices made this painful to read. Find someone to read it before you submit, and they may help you with the mistakes. Good luck with your next submission.

Despite many gramical errors and a muddled plot I enjoyed this a lot you got potential but don't stop trying. Really solid stoey at heart here

Nice story

"When I see one(a booty) and it looks good to me...

When I go see him I say, 'I like you, and I want ya. Now we can do this the easy way, or the hard way. THE CHOICE IS YOURS.' And it was always yes. "

- Fleece Johnson, the Booty Warrior

So this is basically an AU of the Boondocks episode where Tom takes Huey and Riley with a bunch of their classmates for jail - but instead it's a highschool girl?

The writing was great, I'm an English major and I've read worse grammar by classmates in uni 🙄 don't listen to assholes. your story was great! Can we have another one with similar plot??

Some people just can't be pleased. Listen hun people got to me but they can't touch you keep going I really enjoyed this one.

Loved the plot. There were errors (I beat myself up all the time for errors so no sweat), but the plot was great. You took time to build the story do it was believable.and I'll bet all your readers were squirming by the end of the story.

You also pulled us into their jobs and the environment they must deal with.

Nice story, thank you for sharing. Hope there will be more.

A great storyline, I really hope you continue writing as you have a great imagination. I hope you’ll forgive me saying, I could only be improved by proof reading and maybe a few more descriptors during the sex scenes. Please keep writing, it’ll just keep getting better. Thank you for your story.

Keep going with this one