All Comments on 'The Aunts Ep. 03: Darla'

They all have to end up pregnant as fuck. This is not the way to finish it!!!! Maybe even a weekend orgy where they all get pregnant after the first kids.

HEY BLOZO! I HAVE ONE SUGGESTION FOR YOU. FUCK THOSE CRITICAL COMMENTS AND JUST KEEP WRITING. YOU DID AN EXCELLENT JOB FOR STARTERS. I WAS A SENIOR EDITOR FOR A U.S. NATION WIDE PUBLISHER AND A SENIOR EDITOR FOR A MAJOR HUNTING MAGAZINE AND BELIEVE ME YOU DID OUTSTANDING. SO FUCK THEM, JUST NEVER INCLUDE THE ... BETWEEN YOUR WORDS CAUSE SO MANY PEOPLE LOAD THESE STORIES INTO A TEXT READER LIKE TEXTALOUD AND WITH A SEXY VOICE LIKE IVONA'S JENNIFER, IT MAKES IT EVEN HOTTER! THANK YOU AND KEEP THE STORIES COMING, YOU'RE DOING JUST FINE! FUCK ANON'S!!! THEIR FUCK WITS WITH EMPTY HEADS ON THEIR SHOULDER AND ARE COWARDS WHO CANNOT WRITE A STORY TO SAVE THEIR LIVES!

Why are you shouting? If you're such a great editor, why was your comment so badly written?

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Also, why do you think only your opinion is valid?

You made a big deal of the possibilities of him impregnating Ella and Darla, but you didn't resolve either one nor deal with the consequences of if he did.

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The closest you came to it with Ella was that it was less than two weeks since they fucked. Outside of her having her period, it's barely time to have a conclusive answer to that issue. You didn't say she had her period, so it didn't happen.

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As for Darla, "I knew good and well I had an egg waiting up in there." seems to indicate she is pregnant, but you didn't deal with it.

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There is a principle in fiction and drama called Chekhov's gun, which basically states that if you introduce a plot element into a story, either address it later in the story or remove it.

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A simple epilogue could have wrapped things up, such as it being two months later, neither one of them got pregnant, and everyone is following the schedule.

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You asked for constructive criticism, well, this is what constructive criticism looks like.

Thank you anonymous for your constructive criticism. These are the things I need to know to improve.

I will write an epilogue to clarify the outcomes soon.

You did a great job, just don't leave me hanging. You did three, and, I think you have more in you. Play with the twists and turns that could happen. Adding you to my favorites list.

MadDog025 is just as anonymous as I and others are. I can understand why he says he WAS a senior editor of whatever because he doesn't know the difference between 'their' and 'they're' and a few other mistakes. Go shout at your wife or kids. Leave people who wish to make comments to do so as writers can choose to accept or reject any of these!

i was personnaly dissapointed that he let her boss him around like that. either fuck her into submission or tell her to fuck off he has 2 other aunts more thaan willing. also its a bit weird to change the perspective between chapters.still decent story though.3stars.

Yeah, that's why third person, especially when the narrator is able to know every characters thoughts, usually is the best POV.

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One thing that really stood our for me from the different perspectives was Mary's personality, at least how she is seen by others. In the first, Ronnie seems to see her primarily as flirty, and the victim of her husband's abuse. But in this, Darla's main view of her is Mary's anger, almost to the point of blaming her for the guy's death.

One hing to keep in mind, there are two types of Third Person Point Of View. First is simply Third Person POV, in this format, the narrator is the character, and unless they have some sort of ESP or mind reading capability, they have no idea what other people are thinking and know nothing about what is going on in areas they are not in. The other is Omniscient third person POV; in this format the narrator is not a character and they know everything that is going on. When writing in Third Person POV, be careful not to switch between the two as it can confuse readers.

Darla Is The Aunt Domme and Charly Could Not Be Happier! 3 Aunts for His Big Dick! Happiness ALL Around! Great Twist!

I hope you have more in store with this series. The characters remind.me of some of my Texas relatives lol