by CinderellaD
Dear CinderellaD,
Thank you for a well written, erotic and exciting story. It made me cum in my panties at work.
You see...I live in the real world, so I stopped reading one third down on the first page.
Should have kept the boss story for what it was, leave the flashback parts of eating all those women for another story. It takes away from the fucking the boss story immensely. I stopped reading the story when it suddenly became about women bullying her to eat them. It was a good fucking the boss story until then. My recommendation, pull these two stories apart, they are much better that way. You can write well, keep it up, just keep your story plots simpler.
I was wondering about how the story within a story would go. You're probably right. I'm still new to this writing thing. I wandered off topic a bit. Regards. C.
Really good story! Your writing is detailed and descriptive. I too enjoyed the boss fucking and using Joanna portion better than the lesbian sub plot. However, the lesbian sub plot was quite good. Also, Joanna was a bit too cooperative at the end. Joanna's reluctance and prudishness makes the story hot.
After ALL the abuse she suffered over the years, she finally is taking what she wants and needs! Love Your Writing!
A well written and enjoyable story with good decision making by Joanna.