The Balance Ch. 01-05

"I came to your many-times ancestress, and I lay with her, to the great pleasure of us both. She took my seed within her, and in time...Actually, it took many times, but I think that neither of us had cause to regret it," She flipped her hand, "Ariadne bore a son. He was a fine boy, after the manner of your people. We loved him dearly. And when the time came and he was of age, he went to his mother, and she took his seed within her, and bore him a daughter. And so it has continued through the generations. One generation sires the next. The faith remains pure. The balance is maintained. The Deity endures. And the land is kept safe."

Abiron gaped like a landed fish. What he had thought mere moments before was the greatest secret that he had ever been told now seemed laughably small. His mother...his mother...his father!

Unable to sit, he rose from the bed and walked blindly to the wall and back.

"My father..." it came out hoarse and strained.

"Your father was also your mother's father." Her look was gentle.

"But, my Lady, that is not possible! Any farmer worth his plow knows that you do not inbreed livestock! The children would be sickly and malformed. How can such a thing be?"

"It can be because We have willed it to be. Look at your body. Is it not finely made? Examine your mind. Does it have any faults? You know it does not. Your body will serve you well as long as that of any other mortal. Longer, perhaps."

His hands were shaking, "But the previous High Priest...my father...died young."

Her face grew sadder. "Yes, he did. But that was not of Our doing. He slipped on ice at the Winter Rite at some cesspool village and fell down a flight of stairs and broke his neck. He was less than forty and you were little more than a year out of the womb." She shuddered and suddenly seemed afraid. "Your line has never come so close to failing before. It terrified Us. That is why you have so seldom been permitted to go out into the world. If a similar accident had befallen you..." She trailed off.

"But I think that you are speaking of this only to hide your real fear, are you not? You are worried about what is to come next."

Abiron sat on the floor. "You want me to sire a child on my mother."

"No, you want to sire a child on your mother. Do not forget that I am the Deity, Abiron. I know what you are thinking. Since the moment I told you of your lineage you knew what you would be asked to do. Your mind is a turmoil of fear and desire. But desire is winning," A look of pity crossed her face. "Oh, child, I know that it is not easy. Nothing worth anything in this world is. But you will be happy. Very happy, if I am any judge."

"How...how was it for my mother?"

The Maiden shrugged, "Both easier and more difficult, I think. You must remember, child, that it is different for a woman. It is her body that is being invaded, after all. But she had been prepared. Not overtly, of course, but there are various ways to let someone know what is in store. I hope that your mother remembers them when the time comes for your children. To do this the way we have this evening is no blessing."

"Truly it is not," Abiron stood and squared his shoulders. "I suppose there is no time like the present." He walked towards the door.

The Maiden's laughter rang out free and clear, "Beautiful boy, you are braver and more foolish than I could imagine. A few moments ago you were lamenting your fate, and now you are preparing to charge off like a soldier into battle. Sit down and be quiet for a moment, will you?"

Sheepishly Abiron sat in a chair.

"One does not go to the High Priestess of the Deity in her own temple like a stallion to a mare which is in season," the Maiden said. "Listen well, child. What you and her will do is blessed and holy, and the first time the most sacred rite of all. It will require preparation, just as the Autumn Feast or the Rite of Spring. Do you understand?"

He nodded.

"Very well. I will go to your mother next, to let her know that the time has come for her to bear your child. Tomorrow will spent in preparation and contemplation. Tomorrow night you will go to her, and the balance will be maintained."

"And after I have done my duty? What then?" Abiron's voice was ever so slightly bitter.

The Maiden smiled, like a wise mother at a child throwing a tantrum. "'After you have done your duty?' You will do it again, and again, and again. Your duty does not end with one night in Ariana's arms, my son. It does not end when you have got her with child. It does not end when that child is born. It does not end when the time has come for you to sire a son on your daughter," Her eyes became steel and her words thunderclaps. "Your duty does not end until you are dead. You are a priest of the Deity. Your duty is to your family, your land and to Me. You did not choose this fate, but no one does, not even the gods," Her voice softened slightly, "Do not take it so ill, young one. There is a reason. The balance must be maintained. And I think you will say, at the last, that We did not serve you so badly," She rose and walked to his seat. "May My blessing be upon you and this union. Sleep, my child. You have no reason to fear."

She led him back to his bed. He let her pull the bedclothes up over his body. She bent over him and he felt her lips against his brow. For a moment, he felt all of her aspects at once. It was the sweet kiss of a little girl and the virginal kiss of a maiden; he felt the sultry heat of the wanton's touch, and the soothing caress of a mother's love. He even felt the tenderness of a grandmother for her many-times grandchild.

Then she was gone.

Chapter 3

The Deity next appeared to Ariana. As in the visitation to Abiron, she thought she was dreaming. Unlike Abiron, she knew what was happening and what it meant.

"Hello, Ariana."

"Good evening, my Lord"

"Well, aren't we formal tonight? Do you know why I am here?"

Ariana sat up in her bed. It was bigger than that of her son, in keeping with her dignity and her position. She looked at the Deity. For her, he had manifested as the Father. He appeared to be a man of about Ariana's age, clad in a simple white tunic and trousers. His hair was gold-shot bronze and his eyes a calm gray. He looked like a man who could repair a wagon, harvest a crop, and roof a house, all the while feeding six children and planting the seventh in his wife's belly.

"I...I hope I know, my Lord." To the Deity's surprise, her voice quavered and broke, and tears ran down her face.

"Ariana darling! What is wrong?" The Deity hurried across the room and took her into his arms as she sobbed.

"I am so sorry, my Lord. So sorry. But you look so much like my lord Aethon..."

"Oh, my dear Ariana. I apologize. This is the last thing I wanted to do," When the Deity turned back to Ariana, he had changed. The hair was darker, the face leaner, the eyes a dark blue. "Better?"

"Yes, my Lord, very much," Ariana blotted her eyes on the bedclothes and faced her Lord again.

"Well, let's start again. Do you know why I am here?"

"I do, my Lord. It is time to take my child as my lover and bear him our child." She paused for a moment. "How did he take the news, my Lord? How is he?"

"Right now? By turns, he is terrified, ecstatic, panic-stricken, and horny as hell," the Deity laughed. "It was a good thing that I appeared to him as the Maiden. If I had chosen the Wanton or the Mother, he would have fainted from lust or embarrassment. Oh, you should have seen him, Ariana. He was so frightened he was shaking like a man with a fever, and so ready to jump into your bed that I had to make him sit down."

"I would have welcomed him in my bed then. I would welcome him now. I will certainly welcome him tomorrow."

"Oh, Ariana. Our blood ran true in you. There is so much of the Wanton in you that no one can question that you came from the seed of a god. Even I can feel it, and it takes much to tempt the Deity."

"I am ever at my Lord's command." Ariana's voice had grown husky, and the bedclothes slid from one shoulder, revealing her breast. The nipple was standing high and taut and the skin surrounding it was flushed. "Perhaps the Deity would like to bless our union further?"

"No, Ariana. The last thing your son needs is for him to come to you with the scent of a god's lovemaking still on your body. He is a gentle one, your son. To give him such a kick to his pride would do so much damage that I fear he may not recover. I know the heat that burns within you, my child. For over sixteen years you have held yourself apart and celibate, when your every instinct, indeed, your very nature, drives you towards the opposite extreme.

"I beg you, go gently with Abiron, at least in the beginning. He is young, and frightened. Losing one's virginity is no less fearful an experience for a man than it is for a woman. In your case," He smiled, "I doubt that you were frightened at all. There is little of the Bull in him at the moment. But if you treat him well, he will be a prodigious lover for you. One man cannot empty your well, as your bounty is without measure. But give him time to grow in confidence before you put horns on his head. A man must have pride in himself. Without it, he is a fragile and brittle thing, ready to shatter at the first blow."

"I will, my Lord," Ariana shifted into a less provocative position. "Tell me, what news of the outside world? How go things with the king?"

"Well enough," the Father answered, "The realm is at peace, for the time being at least. The crops were good this year, although I may have had something to do with that. My only worry is these Christians, as they call themselves. I know their God, and he is a jealous and unpleasant sort. I've had my run-ins with him in the past. Their numbers are few at present, but he is not the sort to let go of a thing once he has it. If one of his priests should gain the ear of King Benedictos, I would fear for our land, and for your line."

"The Christian father who was here several months ago did not seem of that type. I thought him a well-meaning and pleasant fellow."

"And he was, or I would not have allowed him within five leagues of these walls. One man cannot be judged as representative of an entire faith. Ariadne's grace does not mean that all of my followers are saintly. Father Markos is a good man, but he has colleagues who would raze this temple to the ground if it meant gaining power here on earth. Why should they fear for their bodies? They have been promised eternal life by their God." The Father snorted, "Eternal life! I hope they find something to do with it. With the rules their God has set, they are likely to grow very bored with eternity very quickly. I prefer eternal love. And I don't promise. I deliver."

"Their God promises eternal love, as well," Ariana said.

"Does he? Think again, Ariana. He promises a lot, but this is the God who wiped out a city of thousands because not enough people followed his rules, then turned a woman to salt when she turned to watch her home go up in flames. This God told a man to sacrifice his son to prove his faith. What he demands is devotion, sacrifice, and obedience, with a fair amount of blood thrown in for good measure. But does he return that with love? Look through their holy books, if you can stomach them. You find precious little that shows his love for his people. What you will find is his anger at those who oppose or disobey him," He shook his head. "Enough of this. I should be old enough to keep some upstart god from getting on my nerves. I have warned the priests and priestesses at court to keep an eye on any Christians who may show up. If it happens and they think there may be any danger, you will be warned."

"Yes, my Lord. Is it Your will that if such a danger arises I confront it?"

"Absolutely. A small fire may be put out. A large one may burn a house down. I would prefer to not have to rebuild this house. I have done so once already. It is tiresome."

"Does my Lord have any other duties for me?"

"Only the one that I laid upon you at the moment of your birth, Ariana. Be well, be happy, and may your union bring you joy." He stooped beside her bed and kissed her mouth. For an instant, the chaste kiss of the Father turned into the searing heat of the Lover, but then he stepped away again. "Good night, my priestess."

"My Lord!" Ariana suddenly sat upright again, "Did you tell him...you didn't tell him...does he...does he know about the wedding?"

"Ariana, if I wanted to kill him, I would have done it cleanly. He knows what he needs to know. He'll find out the rest tomorrow."

Chapter 4

Abiron woke just after dawn. A lifetime of routine ensured that he was awake soon after cockcrow every day. He staggered to the window and untied the shutters. A sky of deep blue welcomed him. A cool and bracing breeze swept down from the north. Abiron smiled to himself. The weather had turned. In a month it would be cold and in two months it would be horrible, but he had always enjoyed the first cold snap of the fall. In a week, perhaps two, the leaves would change and there would be a riot of color in the hills to the east of the temple. Perhaps his mother and he could go riding there soon. She always enjoyed the beauty of the hills in autumn.

Then memory hit him like a hammer, his knees buckled, and he nearly fell to the floor.

The dream!

Could it be true? Could it be not true? He had never had a visitation from the Deity before, so he could not judge whether it had been a true seeing or a manifestation brought on by an excess of apples at his meal the night before.

Stay calm, he thought. Don't rush into anything. Maintain your balance. Remembering the Deity's words in his vision last night, he had to fight down an urge to giggle hysterically. He dressed carefully, fighting to remain calm despite the churning in his stomach.

In the kitchen he found his mother already there. Of course, he prepared the meal last night, so it was her turn this morning.

"Good morning, my mother-priestess," he said.

"Good morning, my son," answered Ariana with a smile. She set hot bread, cool preserves, a pat of butter, and a pot of tea on the table. "Did you pass a pleasant night?"

"Yes," said Abiron. Out with it, you coward! "I had an odd...I had a very odd dream."

Ariana's smile grew deeper. "I know."

"Is it...Is it true?"

"Yes, my son, it is true."

Abiron slumped in his chair and covered his eyes with his hands. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"I didn't know how." Abiron removed his hands from his face and stared at her. "It is true. At first you were too young. How could a child understand? And how would I tell you? Remember, Abiron, I was not terribly older than you are now, and alone, with no one to advise me. And then later, when you were no longer a boy but not yet a man...it seemed dangerous to me. To give that knowledge to you, without knowing whether you were wise enough to handle it? It seemed best to me to trust to the Deity. She knows when the junior party is old enough to deal with the knowledge."

"And how old were you?"

"Not yet sixteen," Her eyes were open and frank. "And if I had my way, I would not have had to wait that long. Your father was a very well-made man, Abiron. I had wanted him since I was old enough to know what it was that I wanted." Her voice sank to a sad whisper. "We were so happy. All of us. He, myself, my mother-priestess. I had never known I could be so happy. Then my mother Persephone died. It was a sickness of the lungs and there was no cure. Then you were born, and you were a joy to me. And then your father died, and I do not know how I survived the grief. If you had not been there, I think I would have willingly joined them."

"Your mother. Persephone. Did you not ask the Deity for aid?"

"The Deity answers all of our prayers, Abiron. Sometimes the answer is 'no'."

"Mother, how did...how does..." Abiron sighed and threw up his hands, "How does it all work? How did your father sire you on your mother, who was also his mother? How did he sire me on you without his mother, who was also your mother, going mad with rage? If he was as well-made as you imply, she could not have welcomed the sight of him in your bed. This is not the way the world works!"

"You are right, my son. This is not the way the world works. This is the way the gods work, and we are tools in their hands. I have served the Deity well and faithfully all my life, and I am not going to question her will now. But, you ask, how does it work?" Her smile grew mischievous, and Abiron could see the shadow of the Wanton in her eyes, and could feel his body beginning to respond to her. "Abiron, love shared is love doubled. The truest measure of love is when someone else's happiness is essential to your own. I loved my parents, and wanted them to be happy. My parents loved me, and wanted me to be happy. And they loved, truly loved, each other. When your father took me to his bed, I had never been so happy. And because I was happy, so was he. And because we were both happy, so was my mother. Do not think," she continued, "That just because I had been brought to his bed I had replaced my mother. She was just as lusty at sixty years as she was at twenty, and my father would never have thrown her over. Not even for me. Especially not for me."

Abiron stared at her. Despite his shock, he knew that she had told him the truth. Her sincerity shone through her like light through clean air. He picked up a piece of bread, buttered it, and spread it with warm strawberry preserves. Taking a bite, he chewed thoroughly, and took a sip of his now lukewarm tea. "So...what now?"

Ariana laughed merrily. "Oh, Abiron. The Deity is right. Despite all that you have been told, you still expect me to attack you right here at the breakfast table, before you have eaten or shaved. Not that the idea does not have its own degree of charm," she continued, "But at least give me credit for some measure of self-control.

"So. We are priestess and priest, and we have our duties. So we will eat our breakfast, and then we will say the morning rites. Then we will do what needs doing in the temple and on the grounds. The afternoon will be spent in quiet contemplation. This evening there will be a ceremony and a meal...and then...and then," she said, her voice gone deep with need, "Then you will come to my bed, and I will be there to welcome you."

The routine of the day did something to calm Abiron's nerves. It was almost a relief to let the body do things it had done a thousand times before, ignoring that fact that very soon it would be doing something that it had never done before. So he washed the dishes with his mother (who would soon be his lover). Then he fed the chickens and the goats while his mother (who would soon be his lover) did the same with the pig and the cow. Then the morning rites were performed and the temple cleaned with his mother (who would soon be his lover). He mucked out the stalls of the three horses in the barn and lay down fresh straw while his mother (who would soon be his lover) left on private business of her own.

Finishing the job, he returned to the well, drew a bucket of water, and was washing his hands when Ariana returned. "Done at last?"

"You know what the philosopher said, Mother. 'You can throw out nature with a pitchfork, but it will come back all the same'."

Ariana laughed, "Very true! Well, let's hope that nature won't return until tomorrow morning, at least." She took his hand and led him back into the temple. "I have already spent my time in contemplation. I think that you would like some time alone, as well?"

Abiron nodded as they reached the door of the worship area. Ariana reached up and laid her hand on his cheek. "We will dine together at the twelfth hour. When you have finished your contemplation, go to your room and put on the clothes you will find there. I will see you next when we dine. Be well, my son." She turned and walked quickly away, her sandals sending back faint echoes.