All Comments on 'The Ballad of Jaimie and Vera'

My god... That took a long time to get there...

Well, it's true. It is long. But there are ten chapters, and the rest build on the relationship that starts here. So please, don't judge it too harshly!

I really hope there is more to come.

Terrific start and I look forward to following the tale of these two ladies. I truly hope there is a happy ending because they obviously love each other and can, without a doubt, satisfy each other. Bravo!

This has got to be one of the best stories I ever read here.

The language, the scenes, the imagery.

Cool. Beyond Cool. Magnificent.

Thanks for the talent and the effort. May your stories multiply :)

The transition between the present day and the college flashback was a little abrupt, but not so much that it didn't work. Still, I think it would have been a good reminder that the story takes place in two time periods if you had ended the chapter with a very quick flash forward to reveal who is standing in front of Jaimie at the reception desk. But of course this is your story so if you have more plans to take place in their college years, then by all means ignore what I'm saying except that I love what's happening so far.

When I first started writing this story, the beginning wasn't supposed to be this long, and this is slightly less than half of the "beginning". I didn't plan it out as well as I could have, and so it makes for a somewhat discordant chapter break. However, that problem will really only exist for another 24-48 hours until Chapter 2 posts (assuming it's not rejected for any reason). After that point, anyone who wanted to know how these two time periods link back up would just keep reading.

I sincerely hope you stick around for some of the wild developments to come!

Great intro to Jaimie, it's always nice to start a story with a smile, and she was immediately relatable. I didn't find the flashback abrupt, but I am looking forward to getting back to the present. It's hard to do full character development from first person, but I thought you did a really good job... I don't know Vera as well as Jaimie, but have a pretty clear vision of her motivations and emotions. The sex scene was really well done, super hot.

I didn't love the end of this part. It may have been better to leave Vera's proposition till the next chapter. I like a love story and monogamy... I am not a fan of multiple partner sex in any genre, so the foreshadowing was a little off putting. I am guessing you didn't write this story specifically for me, and I do think you will have a good audience for the format you've chosen :)

Awesome first submission!

Hmm. Not quite sure what I think about this one. The story (both the current day and flashback) is superbly written and Jaimie and Vera are both likeable and believable characters. I'd be pretty damn happy to have either of them in my bed! It's when it gets to the sex that the wheels fall off a bit. For such a good build up, it happens a bit too quickly and is too clinical in description. Descriptions of feelings, thoughts, emotions, etc. would make it so much hotter. Also, perhaps some of the different 'varieties' of sex they have could have been left out - to be an anticipated thrill in subsequent chapters? However, overall a pleasurable read ;-)

Just about the best on this site...or any other...you're good, girl.

It shoulda been "yep."

5 out of 5 for me, love the build up and the sex. I demand more! Lol

Beautifully written. I didn't think the sex was rushed, or too clinical. The descriptions were nicely done when, let's be honest, there are only so many ways to describe the act of making love. Looking forward to more. Thank you.

I have, over the years, collected a lot of art (for this story and others). Be sure to check http://forum.literotica.com/showthread.php?t=1496319 to see these characters and more!

Well written as ALL of your stories are. One point and it hardly matters but thought you'd appreciate the detail. Victoria's Secret bras only go up to a DD. Trust me on this.... keep up the great work.

Open up front Open conversation open mind open understanding open fun ….. yeah this could work