All Comments on 'The Beautiful Miscommunication'

All feedback welcome.

As a first time author this was a good start. Here's some constructive comments:

Your grammar, writing style and spelling is good but needs a bit of work (e.g. As he lied there - not sure that is grammatically correct). You have to have a good foundation. A lot of readers find basic mistakes annoying and you avoided making these errors.

The premise is somewhat flimsy. I like the twist (some of my stories have them - see "The Hunted" and "No Quarter for Katherine"). However you would think that they would have figured out the person setting up the blind date wasn't the same person ("So how do you know John Doe? John, my friend's name is Jimmy.").

Story would also improve with more details. This story lends itself to being short because you're not supposed to know a lot about the girl, but probably should have been closer to 2 pages if you fully developed out the restaurant scene and then the sex scene.

Good luck!

Mistress SWP

Your feedback is very much appreciated. Thank u for your criticisms. I thank u.