All Comments on 'The Belly Dancer'

Disregard the comment before mine, please; I believe it to be made by an individual attempting to strangle the development of new writers on this site, likely from religious motivations.

You did fine. Look forward to your next one.

The focus of their comment was on the story while the focus of your comment was on them daring to have a different opinion. (Your token comment on the story was too little and banal.)

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If anyone's comments should be ignored, it's yours. Disagreeing with a contrary opinion is fine and the essence of criticism, but calling for contrary opinions to be ignored for the crime of disagreement is not.

This is a very nice slow burner story to get the juices going.

The anonymous posters who come and trash these type of stories have fragile egos, are very insecure, and probably small dicks to go along with it.

I guess my title sums it up nicely. Still I want to expand on what I dislike and how it might be improved (in my opinion of course).

The fact she was a belly dancer was kind of lost to me. Belly Dancers depending on style can be sensual, energetic, sexy and a whole lot of other feminine adjectives. I was expecting this to be shown through a description of her dancing. For example, when dancing for the whole group, her routine would be more generic while when dancing for the last guy her attitude and moves changes to reflect the purpose of her dancing. Another thing that belly dancers are famous about is their outfits and each has usually a custom built one for to accentuate her body and style.

To make a wife-sharing story work imho, you need more buildup. You need to describe their relationship in detail, especially if it was the first time they are doing the sharing.

Lastly, the story was put into Exhibitionism/Voyeurism category, but I think the part where the protagonist was observing his wife with the man was a bit rushed. Almost as a literary "slam bam, thank you ma'am". I think it is very important for those categories is the balance between what the viewer sees and what he imagines he sees. In your case we see everything and that play in the protagonist's head of what is going on is lost.

Of course, this is only an opinion and we all have one. Don't lose motivation and keep writing it will get better with experience.

Sexy indeed!!