All Comments on 'The Big Gag'

This was badly conceived and poorly written. The character development was, for all intent and purpose, non-existent. The dialogue was written and conceived by a teenager. Since you didn't number this Chapter 1, I assume you're done. That's the ONLY good thing about this mess. It's over.

First of all, HUG! I think that "Anonymous" comment was simply awful and I certainly disagree totally. I thought the narrative was well-told and free of typos. I was sucked in and visualizing the changes and certainly considered the tone just right for a college student. I was surprised at the telephone conversation near the end of the story as I was looking forward to the seduction. The revelation about the family was interesting too. A bridge paragraph might have coalesced things for someone wwho didn't re-read it. The entire revenge thing distracted him from the more important problems he was having with his family and his identity. The transformation helped bring this to the fore. Fascinating fiction if, as you warned, not especially erotic. I'm a fan.

Hugs and kisses,

Di

Look, if you want to make something non-erotic it should be put in the non-erotic category. All the other categories are for erotic literature. It doesn't matter if the main theme of your non-erotic story is TSCD, it's still non-erotic first and foremost.