by stoppiello
Present tense stories seldom work (especially when you forget which tense you are using).
Too many mistakes. And, as has been said, too much waffle.
A very good story and I feel that there could be many more chapters as they pull in Lauren to make it a foursome in time. There is a lot more that I could ask for but this as a stand alone is a five star.
I await your next post thank you for this one