All Comments on 'The Black Wedding'

Been waiting for a new story for months!

Glad to see you're back hope everything's going good :)

He really is. It is so great when you see he has a new story.

don't care for this 1*

just to offset the asshole annony's vote of 1

I imagined Whoopie or Michelle O. haha, went totally limp after that and couldn't finish reading.

Absolutely amazing story. Very cartoon like in its concept, but powerful and highly erotic too. I loved this.

Thank god i took A hint five pages in to realize you were just dragging the fuck out of a plot you spoiled in t he title bar. Let me guess, itwas 15 more pages of the dumb bitch babbling about her big tits and you babbling about the big tits of every other character in here. Hell theres no way that big a slut has tight pussy, its gottabe as big as her tits. Then you shat all over your own plot by reducing her from Fortune 500 to a stay at ho n e baby making Duggar who Was forced to negotiate for babies with a white woman. Utterly retarded.

Glfirst two pages and last three would have been decent. The rest is fucking idiotic.

Would've been real nice had Vanessa pushed even harder and "forced" Mandy to worship her hot, wet, black body when Mandy woke up... even as sad/angry/hurt as Mandy was she still couldn't help checking out her boss' hot black body. Don't know why you didn't have Vanessa force the issue to further drive home her superiority.

Glad you're back. Was feeling sad that another favorite writer might have left. Even if the story content wasn't of interest to me this time, great to see you are still writing.

Probably your best opening line yet,

That said, the sex scene felt a bit too short given the overall length of the story.

I do like all the references to your other stories. I wonder if we will be seeing Naomi or the unnamed Senator in future stories. It also seems like Mandy is not quite done yet which is a bit unusual for your stories (a hint for the whole War of Monarchs thing you have talked about?)

Great story as always but you need to go back to having the victor woman humiliating the losing woman more. Like in Fit vs Fat when she spat in the fat womans face or the devil wears nada where the woman made the other literally kiss her ass. That kind of stuff would have been great in this story.

Love your stories but this one was way too drug out. More than 10 pages to get to the good stuff. Too too long. Keep writing, love your work but this one was disappointing.

I loved the nice reference to Tori KK.

First thing's first - WAYYYYYYY the hell too long for a single entry. I just finished a four-part story, and this was longer than all four parts put together. Something like this may work revised as a multi-part epic. It may even put a clearer emphasis on Zack's character arc - in part one, he's the loving fiancé who wouldn't dream of dipping his wick in some chocolate, so to speak, but by the end, he's property of the evil woman, as is standard of one of these stories. It would certainly make a story like this easier to handle.

I will say this - your style has improved. It looked like there was a lot more proofreading and revision in this one. Some things slipped through, but that's typical; AutoCorrect doesn't catch everything, and what it does often ends up looking worse.

Also, LOVE the subject matter. Black women are hot as hell.

I appreciated the fact at the end the jilted lover wasn't quite broken. I always enjoy your stories but some day I'd like to see you stretch your talents a little bit and try a different genre.

Go back to writing about incest please!

The characters were interesting, but the tedious length, achieved by endless repitition of the exact same thing made the piece boring. Had to skip to the end to see how it turned out, now too tired of this story to read any of the sex parts. Needs good editing.

5 stars !!!!!

I think that you are an amazingly gifted writer, but I have to echo some of the comments about the wordiness of this story. Your writing style is usually brilliant, but this time it came off as repetitive. There were quite a few pages of this story where I got to the bottom and felt like I had reread the previous page. Saying all of this, I am very much looking forward to more stories from you and I hope this is received as the constructive criticism it is intended to be.

I love how long your stories are, and how many words there are because it means it has plenty of reread value, and it makes the story far more interesting and sexy. Porn should not be done in a few simple paragraphs like most authors on the site do with barely any build up in the story, and tons of sex sounds without any real meaning. In my opinion most of them are terrible at writing porn, but I love the way you write it, and your attention to detail with consistency and interesting plots.

People are always so butt hurt about the amount of reading they have to do, but don't realize how gifted we are to receive such long chapters. This is more of a critique on your rather lackluster, and unimaginative reviewers that complain about length of chapters than anything else.

I appreciate the length of the chapters, and I really despise people that say it should be shorter because they think it repetitive, first of this could be because this writer actually has a style unlike most writers... The readers are mixing up style with repetitiveness and prove themselves to be ignorant of the ways of writing.

More please

My lizard brain can't take it

Delicious

I understand that you want to create a similar atmosphere between white men and black women as you typically have between white women and black men stories on a site like this, but usually the bmww stories go to a cuckold direction, which at least gives the white husband time to understand he will never be a match for these hyper masculine black bulls and eventually he either leaves of his own volition or he decides to be the pseudo bisexual middle man to stay in his wife's life. Why do the black women have to come in on a happily married white couple and throw an innocent white wife off the 10th story balcony and then actually listen with glee for the "splat" sound afterward?

Vanessa can say that she was trying to toughen Mandy up all she wants, and Mandy can claim she still has the "fire" all she wants; but in reality Vanessa will be lucky if she doesn't read about Mandy in the obituary and feel absolutely terrible for the rest of her life that she literally directly caused someone she supposedly cared about to commit suicide. Mandy was so beaten down that the first time an Asian woman with a B cup(not even "stacked" Trini, just your average Asian woman) so much as stares at her new boyfriend she will feel there is no hope for her to find love again.

I think the ending to this would have been much better if after the initial adulterous sex, Mandy wakes up from her drunken stupor and talks to a much more sexually fulfilled and overall less hostile Vanessa about what happened, and instead of Vanessa heartlessly black balling her and kicking her out of the room shortly after talking about divorce papers , she allows Mandy to talk to her husband about his needs and his addiction to black women, and together(with Vanessa's input) they reach an understanding that Mandy can stay with her husband as long as Vanessa and her friends can come over whenever to fuck him. It makes much more sense for Vanessa to simply keep Mandy as her secretary and use her looks and her power in the corporate world to make Mandy submissive to her agenda and then mold her into the perfect sidekick to cause Mandy to have genuine affection for her even as she is totally cucked.

Just discovered thetalkman. Long, drawn out but an excellent read. Could have been a nine page excellent read that would have been just as enjoyable. This is my first read and now you have released a desire for me to read 48 other hopefully great stories.

Is it possible to create a sequel for this.

If not, you really should!

This story is well thought out, detailed, and full of emotion. The characters are surprisingly complex, which is more common is erotic literature than most would like to admit. It is not enough for us to read the characters having sex, but it is important for why we care about these characters having sex with one another.

We need to feel their emotions, connect with them and feel comfort/hurt whenever sex is used. Sex isn't always a beautifl wonderful thing to share with someone, it can be also hurtful and destructive to others.

My only question is: Are you capable of keeping our attention for a round 2?

Though it’s a tragedy, it is almost like an erotic take on the Count of Monte Cristo!

Girl meets woman, the two become friends, woman betrays girl and the girl goes on the path too vengence. You have written the first two very well and I am asking if another go at is possible.

The story is that good!

We feel Zack's temptation, see Vanessa's body, and experience Mandy's pain.

The carnal bliss and passion we have for the spitefire Vanessa is undeniable...

The tortureoues emotions going through Zack as he struggles/surrenders to the darkest part of himself is livid...

The suffering befallen on Mandy is unforgivable...

Vanessa destroyed this womans whole world, but Mandy has a chance to get retribution on her. Is it possible?

Though it may be against your usual formula, I think a sequel should at least be considered. This has the emotional drive to do it.

Again, great story!

Repetitious . I got to page five and gave up. I couldn't read the same description of he massive , perfect ff tits one more time.. Maybe I'm missing a good story, but it only took five pages of reading the same damn thing to drive me crazy. Pass.

Holy shit... I need Vanessa to tie me down and have her way with me. Awesome story!

This was the most unsatisfying story I have read. Mandy should have shown her inner strength and destroyed Vanessa in her job and ruined her. A good writer could have solved that easily. No stars.

The story was far too long and repetitive . Same descriptions and adjectives over and over again. Concept was kind of off the wall as well.

Nice story but I would like to see more of the Megan character- she sounds interesting

Exciting and awesome story

In awe of older black women, now even more so. The story was well written, a slow-boiler, the pace was right, the descriptions great, and the sex excellent. We need more older black women and white dude sex. Love it in real, love it in fiction. Excellent writing.

Wow. 19 web-pages long. Just wow.

Took far to many chapters to get to the hotel. I hate when we show strong Men being corrupted by their dicks. A strong man, as portrayed early in the story, would have kicked Vanessa out right away. He had years of the shit she was shoveling and was sick of it. I skipped the last five, repetitive, chapters just to read the ending, which also sucked.

Another satisfy sexy fuck story with might be my favorite person in all your stories I have read so far. Sexy, beautiful, lustful Vanessa. Vanessa and THAT gold slinky dress she wore! So descriptive and …...fuuuuck! Well done!

She should kill them.

The sex between Vanessa and Zach was hot, but overall this story isn't very well written. It shouldn't take 12 pages to get into the sex. Everything within those pages could have been condensed into 2 and a half. Talking about Vanessa's tits and her blackness got really repetative and broke the story. Plus Vanessa's 'dirty talk' was way to wordy and over done.

Hahaha you guys are beyond help.

Too wordy. Lost me at page ten, and just reinforces stereotypes. I won't even finish it. Snooze fest.

I liked the story till page 8, then lost interest. Horny with a big dick or not, no one would be away from a new wife for two seconds on their wedding day. I get Vanessa laying the groundwork, but it's not believable anyone would be able to split the couple on the big day.

Great story and now you have scope to do a story in which Mandy gets a boob job and works out to get a great body and wealth. So she can get revenge she becomes an evil slut. Learning how to Seduce men to get wealth and influence for her first boob surgery and growing more sinful and slutty with time. Enjoying the thrill of stealing men and trashing other women as done to her. She realises Vanessa’s lesson made her stronger. By the time she does cross paths with Vanessa and Zack, Vanessa is older her beauty fading a little. what happens when they next meet?

Got really bored

Damn, was hoping that this was a new story. You have soo many ways this can go.

[13.11.22]

Fun read!

Even though I generally stay away from stories greater than a Baker's Dozen, this one kept my attention.

11/10!!!!!

One of the best stories I've ever read 11/10!

TOO DAM LONG!!!!!!

Took how long to get to any kind of action. And going over the male cherechters previous exploits mid action. Treachery

I do love long stories with slow build-up and all your stories fit perfectly

Like always 11/10

Very good. Please do one like this but for Latinas!

I think the only that should have taken place as well, was to have a big Black Stud to turn Mandy into a Black cock slut in front of her husband to seal the deal right after the wedding while her husband was dancing with all of the hot Black women.