All Comments on 'The Bonding Chronicles Ch. 14'

Can't wait till chapter 15

Sorry but the first 2-1/2 pages could have been cut in half at least without harming the story in the least. Way to many words for what was happening. I ended up skimming over many parts of this chapter because it was just to long for what is happening. Remember you are not writing War and Peace, you are writing a super natural story with sex.

Totally disagree with the "too wordy" comment. I'm really loving this story just the way it is so keep on keepin on as they say.

It's your style and I've grown to like it. The main issue here is that there's not enough real story progression in this chapter. Outside of interactions between the main characters and Tanim and Mercedes, your ongoing story doesn't really go.

Your story is interesting and that's why I continue to follow it, but you have a lot of stagnant pages in your stories. This is 4 star work but I give 5's for promising stories.

This is an excellent story but this chapter was like catching your breath after the last with little development or movement other than some new complications being introduced.

After waiting for almost 2 months I had hoped for a little more. Let's hope that the next chapter makes up for it.

awesome story , thank you i have waiting for more what a great read, and i will continue to enjoy your writing massively .

I understand the thought that this chapter is a much slower and casual in pace than the one before it. The characters are no longer in danger, and I wanted to give them, as well as us, a chance to catch our breath and look back.

It's important for the characters to take stock of everything that just happened, and to try and see how those events took place. Further, for Andrew and Karen, they needed to feel the weight of how close they came to losing everything. Sara is too excited by her new powers to really be thinking of anything else at the time, and Tani'm is now forced to face possibilities she never knew existed.

Originally, I had intended for this chapter to delve further, but I quickly realized how important it was for the characters to have time to recover. Once I hit the point with Mercedes fleeing to try and recover from everything that had been forced upon her, I knew that was the natural place to end this chapter.

I hope that makes sense to those of you who feel that this chapter is "too light."

As I stated on my patreon:

https://www.patreon.com/panther_parabola

The next chapter will deal with a lot more stuff, but the main focus is on Sara and her dealing with her past.

It's nice to relax once in a while too.......

Can't wait for the next one.

Thank you!

PLEASE! PLEASE I'M BEGGING YOU! STOP SAYING "CHUCKLED" SO MUCH!

And I have a question. If Andrew was healing over the course of several "glade days" while Sarah was kidnapped, how could he have been cognitively present with her while she killed Brandon? I may have read it wrong, but it appears to me that both of them are in sync with the other's thoughts, which, by the laws of the "glade days" is impossible.

It didn't really ruin the story for me, I was just curious if you were using that as a kind of build up or something, that's all.

Other than that, love your work, one of my absolute favorites, it's up there with "Celestial Matters," "A Gift from his Father," and all of the classics we've come to know and love, keep it up, and good luck with the new baby.

P.S. What did you name her?

Thanks for the tip on Chuckle, I went and looked and in this chapter it occurs 11 times in a 41 page google doc. That is an average of once every ~ 4 pages. My first few chapters were lousy with "happy, happiness"

Now, if you want me to ruin this chapter for you, try not to be annoyed by the sheer amount of "smiling" that everyone does (answer 41 times, an average of once per page).

It's amazing how difficult it is, as a writer, not to get caught up in the same words and the same way to describe events. It is something I would like to think I am better at now, but the number of times that some form of the word "smile" occurs in this chapter makes me question that.

Regarding the fact that Andrew could hear Sara’s thoughts even through the time dilation in The Glade, that is intentional. The speed with which the events for Sara are taking place as Andrew watches them are greatly reduced. Moments for Sara are taking minutes to pass for Andrew while he talks to Karen and Tani’m.

By the nature of GT (Glade Time), Andrew’s perception of Sara’s thoughts and actions are as if she is making them at 1/30th speed. It would be like watching a movie rediculously slow, and would be frustrating for sure, but you think and observe the world around you much faster that you act or speak. When you look at your desk, your brain immediately filters through almost everything on it, and so for Andrew, those observations, while slow, were much more understandable. Much like her emotional state, which is like observing the green in the forest, the speed with which Sara is blanketed in her reverie makes no difference for how easy it is for Andrew to sense and enjoy those emotions himself.

Does that make sense? The time dilation in the glade is kind of crazy, and now that we have events taking place on both sides of that, it becomes even more confusing.

I hope you can understand that I don’t feel comfortable sharing my daughters name.

I am very suspicious.

This is a wonderfully well written story.

Absolutely love the Genra.

Now:

There are many similarities to another very well written story here.

The writing style; quality of thought; and plot-development is much the same as that of the story, 'Three Square Meals' by 'Tefler'.

The twists and turns are really great. They resemble those displayed in this other story.

Love the development of the 'Under Dog' and the, 'Promoting the power of women".

In both stories this is the case. I Love It.!

Both stories present long pauses between episodes. (Rationally explainable, granted)

However, if PantherParabola and Tefler were one and the same person, the long intervals would make a lot more sense. I would accept this with a great deal of, knowing, pleasure . The stories are great. I more than enjoy.! I am anxious 4 the next chapters of both.

Good stories and both (Wink, wink, nudge, nudge) Good Authors.

While I'm flattered by the comparison to Tefler, I assure you that we are indeed two different people. I actually live in the Seattle area, while I'm pretty sure that Tefler is somewhere in Europe (a guess, based on Brittish terms he has used in older chapters).

Tefler's TSM series is what pushed me to give writing a try, and after a lot of work, I've developed my skills to where I'm at now -- far from perfect, but much better than ever before.

Glad you are enjoying TBC, and I appreciate your patience while I work through further chapters. The next chapter is shaping up to be one of the largest yet. As I have mentioned on my Patreon, the next chapter will have a heavy focus on character development, specifically personal growth for Sara. The current Wildfang arc should also near its conclusion.

if inspired by TSM then Sara would be Alyssa and Karen would be Rachel that my analogy of them in the story. My question is karen based of a teacher friend of yours or a model cause she a nice stablty to the group and she's a french Milf too makes hers easy on the eyes to. also hope new bonding continues. the story is like a modern version of wizard /progenitor hybrid character in the real world

Another solid 5 stars for this chapter. The only criticism I can make is that it's HWY 101 and not interstate 101. The Olympic Peninsula is part of my old stomping grounds and one of my favorite places in the world so I love that this story is based where it is.

Thanks for the inside info. I have this weird hangup that I developed as a kid, when someone told me that Highways are freeways that are contained wholly within a state, and Interstates are freeways that go between states. That is why my stupid ape brain always thinks of US 101 as a Interstate, even though I know that is all dumb miss informed crap.

I have driven that road countless times to see family on the southern OR coast, and in CA, yet still cannot shake that misconception.

The Olympic Peninsula is breathtaking, and the Rainforest around Quinault is absolutely enchanting. The picture on my Patreon is a small window from a photo I took with my wife when we visited there last. It is the place I thought of when I first imagined The Glade, and is a place I cannot wait to take my daughter to when she becomes old enough to appreciate it.

So what? 25? ;)

The next chapter is available on Patreon now, and will be submitted to Lit. in a week. It ended up being the largest chapter in this series to date (~46K words, Ch. 14 is 19K words, to put that in perspective), and explores a lot of what the characters have gone through, and how they are dealing with the events that surround them. Another piece of the next chapter involves moving the Wildfang arc forward.

Personally, I think it's a great chapter, and look forward to getting it in front of all of you soon. For those who do not want to wait, and would like to support me:

https://www.patreon.com/panther_parabola

I have really enjoyed this story, and look forward to reading your next chapter soon.

Sharing and same sex stuff is not really my thing. Especially the sharing part. I'm not sure how many more installments I can handle. Otherwise it's well written.

Yeah, you might want to bail my friend.

I haven't really gotten deep into their family dynamics yet (written up to Ch. 17 at the time of this comment), but they are not destined to be the most monogamous of people. My assumption is that you are not bothered by female-on-female, but if you are then you're really in the wrong place, because that is a trend that will only get more prolific as the story moves forward.

Male-on-male is really not my thing, like at all, but due to some of the characters, it is not something I am going to shy away from either. I'm not sure if it will ever come up within the main group, so I don't anticipate any prolonged scenes featuring man-on-man action, but given the fluid nature of many of the characters' sexualities, I have a hard time imagining there will not be some scenes with mild male homosexuality at some point.

I appreciate your comment, and recognize that many of the subjects the story is touching on will alienate or drive some people away. Hell, the non-fetish diaper mechanic that Andrew was forced to use early in the story drove SOOOO many people crazy. I guess it's hard to not think of a diaper as a sexual device when you have your genitals in your hand.

The odd thing is, I have never enjoyed my own story in that way, while I have taken care of my interests to other peoples stories as if it were a job. I never really realized that before, but I guess there is something about the creative process -- for me at least -- that prevents me from finding my own work titillating.

Weird tangent aside -- My story may not tickle all your needs, and given its diverse nature, may touch on things you find repulsive or disturbing. Whether you continue with it is up to you, but I'm going to continue writing it as makes most sense to me, and I hope you can appreciate that.

Two things (not complaints just advice):

Magi is the plural of magus and armor was not used in 18th century europe, a gorget was the last remnant of armor. It was just a little crescent shaped piece of metal (3 or 4 inches long) worn on the chest by some officers.

The Magi pluralization is something that I know, but struggle with. For some reason it feels odd to change the spelling since I think of it as a proper noun, even though it is more akin to a species or job title. I need to let go of my own hangup though, and start spelling it correctly. Thanks!

When I was thinking of Karen growing up in the 18th century I imagined sword duels and fights for honor more than anything else. I pictured gambesons and light cloth or leather protective armor, but the truth is, I have no idea what the culture was truly like in that period. It's like my reference to jets in the sequence with WW2 and the photo of Karen with Alexi, when jets were just coming in at the end of the war, and mostly on the german side.

Like you, a wonderful reader educated me on the history, and I was able to correct my factual inaccuracy. When I can find a minute, I will try and update this chapter with your feedback. Thank you.

Like most writers, I just write from the gut, truth be damned. ;) I appreciate being educated though, and will try and keep your comments in mind if events from that era should come forward again.

Frankly the sex scenes are boring. I don't know what it is about them. Maybe it's because of so much description and no talking, or too much show and no telling. After a while reading how amazing their orgasms are gets tiring you know? And there's also way too much holidng back. The first few chapters had more of a wild quality to the sex. Now it's more like going through the motions.

Too much telling and no showing.

Great chapter! Poor Mercedes