All Comments on 'The Bonding Chronicles Ch. 17'

As usual I loved it I love that you are bringing Stewart into the magical world and can't wait till he finds out that Andrew, Sara and maybe Karen have magic and I am glad that Andrew might eventually have someone who is just a friend to talk to about his magic and the things that come with it.

All the best

Fred

Someone dropped the ball. I saw several obvious typos across all 8 pages. It wasn't enough to toss me out but it was still annoying. I also found it more wordy than necessary and found myself skimming over some sections, mostly the sex scenes.

This long awaited chapter has not really moved the story on at all. It was enjoyable, as all the chapters have been, but other than the slightly confusing bit with Stewart at the end none of the context or themes set up in the previous chapter have advanced. We have seen this before: a climax and then a pause but not to this extent. I look forward to the next chapter with anticipation.

what an engaging story, oh please continue . i am always so eager to read what you have given to us here to read. thanks heaps . hope life treats you well.

Re: Editing

As I have always said, I am not a professional writer, and currently, I do not have the benefit of a copy editor. I think we were all spoiled with my previous copy editor, who was amazing. Their life has forced them to focus on other things, and I wish them all the best because they are amazing and deserve it. In the meantime, I am doing my best, and would appreciate if you could direct message me with typos and mistakes, so that I can correct them and get the story resubmitted with the problems solved.

The only way I will get better is if I'm made aware of the mistakes that I make, and at least that way the criticism is working towards improving the story, which I think we all want.

Re: A lack of progress

I certainly understand what you are saying. After the battles, at least for now, the characters are always recovering, and in this chapter there were a lot of loose ends to tie up. While the external forces that are moving about did not progress much (since only a half day passed) the characters themselves have developed a lot, and that is vital. Further, a lot was revealed about Andrew and his paranoia about being discovered -- just how far he will go to keep anyone from finding out about them.

More was revealed about where Thunderfoot and Wildfang came from, not just as a place, but how the ecology works. There are a ton of subtle clues scattered throughout the chapter about things to come, and about the world at large.

Ironically, when I started this story, I always figured that the first 7-9 chapters would get Andrew through high school, and then spill him out into the world at large. But, as I have written, everything has just ramped up from the start. As the world has developed, so have the characters, and time has ended up progressing much slower than I anticipated.

If I move things forward how I currently have them planned, the strength of the characters, and the threats that they face, will only escalate from here, and at a much faster pace. Andrew is finally coming into his core powers, and I want to make sure that I do not jump too deep into that too quickly. I know where it's heading, but want to make sure that I continue to pace everything appropriately.

In a couple of chapters, I'm going to have an entire chapter that covers a brand new character, which I'm super excited about. That chapter will likely not have any of the current characters in it. The chapter after that, if I do what I plan to do, will be a turning point for all of the characters, because something horrific and life altering will happen. Something that will pull them all into the greater plot.

Anyways, I am rambling now. Have a great day, and weekend everyone! Hope everyone at least found something to enjoy in this bridging chapter.

First of all, thank you for another great chapter. I truly enjoy your writing and the complexity of it as well as the way you master language and especially your description of emotions, landscapes and characters. You have a gift most writers would envy you if they knew how well you write.

I disagree with some of the other commenters here, this chapter was great and needed for the reasons you mentioned in your own comment. This is how a great writer works.

And that brings me over to the subject of sex. And before I begin... Yes, I know this is a site for erotic literature, and yes - I know that many here is looking for stroke stories. However, there are thousands of stroke stories on this site, so they should not feel slighted if some writers try to move beyond that and create real works of art.

I've seen several writers here who started with stories filled with sex scenes, and who evolved into world class writers as they went along. One example is Tefler with his "Three square meals" story, which I suspect you've read and used as an inspiration for parts of this story. No harm in that, that's what good writers do, and you have your own twist to it as well. Well, about Tefler... He moved from a good stroke story to begin with to becoming a really world class writer. And in doing so, he realised that although his entire story rested on Progenitors copulating and filling women with seed to create thralls, he realised that he had to reduce the amount of sex in his writing significantly. The sex is still there, but more subtle, not so graphic, and short. By doing so, he has significantly improved the quality and readability of the story, and it is getting better chapter by chapter.

Another example is the recently deceased writer Mike Cropo, who nearly finished five long sci-fi books about Martin Leonidas and his rise to being the king of many planets, exploring the universe and so much more before he died way before his time from cancer. His story is as an example even more compelling, as his first two books had way too much sex in them before he toned it down significantly, and publishers refused to touch it with that much sex in it. He developed from writing in here and on sol to having his own website, and his writing became really world class, and it was a great loss to the world that he passed. However, the point of me mentioning this is that the sex scenes in his first books prevented him from getting the recognition he so deserved. I so wish he had lived long enough to finish his seven planned books and re-write the first ones. If so, his works would be a legend beyond what Star Wars is.

Your writing is well on its way - in a different genre for sure - to become the works of a great writer. I believe you may underestimate yourself and your potential greatly, but I think you should consider to change your focus and write your story from now on not to satisfy those hungry for a stroke story but as a real piece of literature that you want to get published. I, for one, have most certainly read published books in your genre that can't compare by a long shot to the quality you produce.

So, I hope you will give this some thought, and if you aren't already, at least start using Patreon as a parallel publishing site so that you can start to make some money from your stories, and I also hope you will start to consider to show your work to some publishers...

Wishing you the best.

Pax

Can't give you thanks enough for this story so have to make do with a measly five stars. Looking forward to the next chapter.

... is fast becoming my favourite character. Nothing against the others, it's just the way you are developing his role. I especially enjoyed his training session with Sara, that was fun to read. Don't kill him off please!

Looking forward to reading the next chapter. 5*

I have been enjoying this well written harem fantasy and often reread chapters to better appreciate the character development.

However, the introduction of beastiality, with Karen jacking off a Jackalope and Sara getting hot and bothered at the idea of doing with a magic rabbit or doing it as an animal with Alex. Makes me want to vomit.

Intelligent Karen, with over 300 years to reflect and figure out the relationship between love and sex, is just a dumb cunt willing to help any male with a boner and thinks that's a good thing.

I'm so disappointed.

“... However, the introduction of beastiality, with Karen jacking off a Jackalope and Sara getting hot and bothered at the idea of doing with a magic rabbit or doing it as an animal with Alex. Makes me want to vomit.

Intelligent Karen, with over 300 years to reflect and figure out the relationship between love and sex, is just a dumb cunt willing to help any male with a boner and thinks that's a good thing.

I'm so disappointed.”

I fear that your re-reading of previous chapters has not helped you understand the characters, their gifts, or their personalities. Further, your assertion that a 300 year life would lead you to “figure out the relationship between love and sex” is misguided and naive. Social monogamy is not predicated on sexual monogamy, and while Karen understands that sexual pluralism complicates monogamous relationships, sexual monogamy as a hard requirement can, and often does, have the same effect.

Andrew and co. get around this issue thanks to their bond, which ensures that they are all socially dedicated to each other, but as Tani’m and Karen have proven, they are not prevented from taking an interest in people outside of the family. The true nature of their bond, and the requirements it forces upon them, has yet to be fully explained or explored, but you may want to question your own assumptions about what it’s doing.

Now, let’s discuss the elephant (bestiality) in the room.

The moment you knew that Therians existed in this world, you had to have known that some form of bestiality was going to be coming, at a minimum through were-sex. I cannot speak for you, but I can say with a high degree of certainty for myself, that if tomorrow I discovered I was a were-X, I don’t care what kind of ‘were’ it was, my sexual desires would not be diminished in my were-form. Further, I don’t think I would care if I was fucking a woman, or the female equivalent of my were-species. I believe my fundamental sexuality would remain the same (I would not all of a sudden be attracted to men), but I would be just as happy fucking a human as another ‘were’.

If anything, my desires would probably be worse during mating periods, and I would probably be more sensitive to female hormones, assuming that heightened senses are a part of package.

Granted, Thunderfoot is not a ‘were’, and Sara’s interest in what she saw was unexpected to Andrew, and it probably would be for Sara too, if she cared to question it.

Sara, as a Therian, has a rather indiscriminate sexuality. Like every other part of her personality, she does not question her desires, and does not hold them to the same standards that humans set for their society. Does a dog get bothered by any moral questions when it tries to hump a cat, or your leg? Of course not. Does a cat that’s in heat care that you’re not another cat when it points its ass at you while yowling and begging for you to breed it? Nope.

Sara’s behavior in that scene will be explored more in the next chapter, and she will explain what she was actually thinking during that scene when confronted by Andrew.

Karen, now you really missed the mark here, and I think it’s because of your own bias and disgust at the idea of what she was doing. It’s ironic really, because I wrote that section from Andrew’s perspective, who was disturbed by the event similarly to you, though probably not as extremely. Since you seemed to overlook the emotions that Andrew felt from Karen, and the hints that I gave for why she was doing what she did, let me spell it out for you.

Beyond being able to heal, she is EXTREMELY empathic, and is compelled by her gift to help those that are suffering. That has been explained in previous chapters. Further, she not only could sense Thunderfoots desire for release, but feel his frustration and aching pain at not being able to satisfy the overwhelming demands of his body.

Here is a supernatural creature, thrust into a magical place that saturates all who enter in a bath of erotic desire. Every time anyone has entered The Glade, they have been overcome by a need to pleasure themselves, or to be pleasured, and Thunderfoot is no different. More than that, he was forced to watch as first Karen and Sara went to town on each other, and then Andrew joined in, their pheromones and sexual energy adding to his already overwhelming arousal.

By the time Karen got out from her own world of sexual exploration and satisfaction, she found Thunderfoot quivering and tormented by desires he could not relieve. As is said in the story, she was not attracted to him, or his dick, but was compelled to help her friend, who could not help himself. It was a selfless act, something that she cannot help but want to do, and it has nothing to do with her being a whore, or as you said a “dumb cunt”.

She even used her own pussy juice to speed the process along, knowing that it would probably have the same effect on Thunderfoot that it has had on everyone else. I’m guessing you did not pick up on that subtle little gem, but there it is, all gift wrapped and ready for inspection.

The bottom line is this, there will eventually be straight up bestiality between human and supernatural creatures in this story. It is going to happen. So, if that is your queue to find the nearest exit, so be it.

Panther,

Thank you for your response to my post. I regretted posting it shortly after I had.

It was a knee jerk reaction. From your point of view, I suppose I am naive, because I really didn't see the human/animal interaction coming. I thought you would write around it.

I have always felt that an author is driving the bus and the rest of us are just along for the ride. I apologize for disparaging your character. Karen is your character, and she can do whatever you wish.

I have enjoyed the ride until now, and now, it is time for me to get off the bus.

Thank you and Good Luck!

despite the human and animal interaction this takes some easing into for some of your longtime readers. I like Karen the sexy milf teacher next to Sarah that is,so as long the beastility doesn't detract from the overall storyline everything is good. it not going be everyone's cup of tea. but as they long keep reading the story the exessive kinks you add turn won't them off too much. it is epic inspired by three square meals but is still your story. write to heart's content cheers!

Thanks for your thoughtful and retrospective response. I kinda' figured that your disgust at what had happened, and your emotional reaction to it, were the impetus for your initial vitriolic response.

Like many things in this story, I had not planned on going down that road, but the situation demanded it. One thing I have tried to do, with varying degrees of success, is to keep the world consistent. The fundamental nature of magic, and how it interacts with the world, will only feel natural if I'm diligent with enforcing its laws. This is vital since I am not spelling it out, and rather building up the readers understanding piece by piece as the story develops.

Thunderfoot is just as susceptible to The Glades erotic influence, and I knew that, but like Sara's car getting fried back in those early chapters, I forgot until he was already there. I had just finished writing the scene between Andrew, Karen and Sara when it occurred to me. So, I had to adjust from there. I knew Andrew would be like me, disgusted by what he saw, because in many ways he is my voice and persona in the story, but I had to figure out how the other characters would react.

This is ultimately how all of that panned out.

Bestiality with supernatural creatures is, I don't expect, going to be a main theme of the story. Not like cum inflation, cum nutrition, group sex, and all of the kinks I have already touched on are. It's not really a interest of mine, but it will appear from time to time.

Full Disclosure, other risqué topics will be covered eventually as well. Including: Rape, torture, mind breaking, and others I have not yet encountered (just hedging my bet here).

Thanks for the feedback, and I agree completely. That was why this chapter introduces the idea more than the act. We as the audience never see any contact between Karen and Thunderfoot, and only witness the aftermath. It is intentionally some of the least described sexual activity in the story.

Again, this is not something that is going to appear often in the story, and will never be a central theme given that only one of the main characters even has an animal form, or an interest in it.

Thunderfoot, for all his playful awesomeness, is a secondary character, and his main drive is still to get home. He has a mate and kids waiting for him, and wants to be there to protect and support them. He is, in many ways, like Bruce, where the character has grown more than I intended, but still has the same arc.

Regarding TSM (Three Square Meals): Tefler's writing inspired me to start my own story, and the cum-inflation aspect of his writing is what drew me to it in the first place. So, it makes sense that we are exploring similar themes in our tales. Ever since I started, my work has been compared to his, and I believe it has worked in a lesser degree in the other direction. He was already 50+ chapters deep by the time I got a start on my story, and my first chapters were, in my eyes, a dumpster fire.

We have emailed and talked, and while I would not call him a friend, I do consider him a friendly acquaintance. We want the best for each other, though he is much further along in this whole process than me. I am wicked behind on his story (last chapter I read was 73 I think), and I'm not sure if he has even read a single chapter of my stuff; not that I expect him to.

Once I started writing, the amount of reading I do on this site has diminished. Not sure exactly why that is, but I am sure it has to do a lot with having a baby and finding it so hard to balance my family / personal / work lives.

Wanted to thank you for your story, I have enjoyed it immensely.

That's it. I am giving up on the story. I really didn't like scene with that hare. Well, Karen didn't enjoy it, but isn't Sara tempted by it? Looks she will give it a try in the future, and going from the progress of this story and your comments, she or Karen might end sleeping with other dudes too, or getting raped, which might end up with them discovering desires none of them aware of, which I didn't expect form this story. It seems like the story will go in a direction I'll not be comfortable with it. So, I am stopping here now instead of ending up disappointed in the future.

This is the one thing I hate about this site. Unlike other sites, you can't easily see all the tags applicable for the story. Most authors overcome this by leaving notes at the beginning stating that story will contain certain themes, and that is the right way go. I just wish you had done that.

Thank you for letting me know that you are giving up, and why. That is certainly your prerogative, and a justifiable one considering where you think the story will be heading.

There is a simple question I would like to ask, and one I hope you asked yourself before you made your decision; has this story headed in directions you expected since the beginning?

I have tried to take a very naturalistic view of most of the magical elements within this world. The characters have reacted in ways that fit with their experience, and their core values. Andrew is confused and repulsed by what happened between Thunderfoot and Karen, while Sara was forced to face a new part of her existence, which up until recently was not available to her.

The next chapter will explain exactly what Sara thought, and why she reacted in the way she did. Whether that is what you think it will be or not I cannot say, but I'm not going to explain it in this post. Like everything else, I want the story to unfold through the characters, and to try and avoid long moments of exposition just to ease the minds of my readers. Either you trust me to take the story in a direction you will enjoy, or not, but I would hope you would at least wait until a boundary is broken before you hit the eject button.

Whether the girl's may eventually sleep with other men is unknown to me yet, but I can tell you that it would never happen through rape. If an instance of rape were to ever occur in this story, it would NEVER act as a window into secret desires for the character that experienced it. Instead, it would be a terrible and life crushing event that would probably catalyze the entire family towards rage and revenge on the person who perpetrated it.

To take a step away from rape (a phrase I never thought I would type), I find it hilarious how hung up people are with a female character sleeping with another man, when the male character could fuck a slew of woman and it's all cool. Hell, even if the woman was to cavort with another woman that is business as usual, but you put a dick in the mix and the walls of good taste come shattering down...

There is a troubling double standard there, and a good distance between a healthy respect for your partner -- and their desires --, and being a cuckold.

All of this said, the bond keeps Andrew and the girls tightly bound together, so the formula for them is a bit different. These are, to repeat myself from earlier, topics which will be explored in the next chapter. As usual, discoveries from one chapter will often be explored directly in the next.

Finally, because I cant seem to write short comments, to address your mention of tags.

Most of the subjects of this story since about Chapter 7 would never have been on Chapter one, because conceptually I did not know that those topics would be explored. Wildfang grew far more than I initially thought he would, and that is doubly true for Thunderfoot. Wilcox was not even on my radar, nor was Scholomance or Oren.

While I came into this story with one expectation of what it would be, I have never allowed myself to be pigeonholed into that idea. The characters have grown in directions I never intended. Did you know, that when I started writing this story, Sara's father was going to be the despicable douchebag she thought he was? It wasn't until they arrived at the clowder and he showed up, that his true personality came to life.

To me, this is a very alive and breathing world, and that is what makes me excited to continue writing it. I would be bored by now if I could predict exactly what was going to happen five chapters in the future.

Ok, my bad. I should have had phrased some things differently, but before that you asked me: has this story headed in directions you expected since the beginning? The answer is both yes and no. Regarding fantasy and world building, the answer is yes. However, with Andrew and Sara, no. After reading first few chapters I though it will be romantic story between them and them only. Then, you brought Karen along. Then, I thought, let's see how it goes. If Sara is not bisexual and Andrew had continued two different relationships with them, I would have given up the story then. Gladly, the story went in different direction.

Now, regarding my comment, it's not about other men. If Karen continues her relationship with Tanim without the other two in the fold I won't like it. If you introduce another straight woman and explore her relationship with Andrew, I won't like it. As for my earlier comment, if you make Karen or Sara sleep with other men I won't like it. If Andrew suddenly discovers he's also bisexual and they decide to bring that other man into fold, I won't like it. Just because I support LGBT doesn't mean I would like to read a sex scene between two men in detail. That's my personal choice.

So, yeah it didn't go in the way I expected it to. First it was about Sara and Andrew. Then about Karen and other two, which I didn't expect. Then about Tanim. From here on, it will go in three ways probably. Tanim will stay away from the trio, which I am ok with. Or she'll join them, which is also I'm ok with. Then, she'll continue separate relation with Karen because she has feeling for the older woman, that I'm not ok with. And also, from you comments and from this part it feels like Andrew might be Ok if girls had other relations with other men, which is also I'm not ok with. As you can see, without considering other factors there's 40% chance I will not like were the story is heading. It even goes up if you decide bring other straight women into fold.

In the end though, it is like the other reader said. This is your bus, and here's my stop.

Well, I'm glad you are at least consistent in your disinterests -- that is better than most.

I still find it hilarious that there is this uproar and concern about characters cheating on each other. Where was this outrage when Karen fed Tani'm Andrew's sperm through intimate kisses? or the longing looks of desire given between those two characters? Tani'm was not part of the family, and while I suspect there has always been a speculation she would join, there has never been a guarantee.

If anything, I have made it clear that she has no interest in joining their family.

Ultimately though, and this is the part that I find the most funny, all of this started with Sara's reaction to what happened to Thunderfoot. Somehow, that event cascaded into this sweeping fear that characters are going to start cheating and fucking around outside of the relationship willy-nilly. And, I know from a story perspective it came from Andrew trying to decide how he felt about Sara's reaction, and trying to figure out where the root of his disgust came from.

His comfort with the women being with other people does not mean that it will happen. All it means is that he would not end the relationship due to it. For him, the relationship is about the women and their bond, and not about the sex. Though, and I have said this several times, the bond has a large impact on everyone's willingness to sleep outside of the relationship.

There are plenty of ways that an outside party could be involved, where it becomes a fun and gray area. As Dan Savage has been known to say: Is it cheating when my partner is doing something to someone else, and I'm doing the same thing on the other side of that same person?

Ironically, I never expected this to lead down this road. I was more interested in exploring Sara's evolving needs, and yet somehow this has opened pandora's box of anxiety for some of my readers. You can exit the bus if you want, that is most certainly your choice. Though, if it were me, I would continue reading the story until I actually hit something that made me want to leave. If I stopped doing everything I enjoyed because I could see several ways that it could go wrong, I would never leave the house.

Anxiously waiting for your Next chapter....and m'y fellow readers please dont take comment section to vent your dis satisfaction (if You have any) ...and spoil the moods of both writer and readers

The next chapter is moving along, but I must admit that it is touching on things that I find personally difficult. I was not expecting it, but the similarities between Tani'm's emotional damage and my own is forcing me to relive some traumas that I have not thought about for a long time.

It's amazing how hard it is to overcome wounds that were made when you were a child. Even after dealing with them as an adult, they still find strange and new ways to come back into your life. I will continue to post excerpts from the next chapter on Patreon, and will release the full thing once it is complete.

I appreciate all of my readers, and am continually humbled by the fact that others find so much to enjoy in my silly story.

Thank you for sharing your story with us.

The next part of Chapter 18 is up on Patreon, and will be public in 6 days. It is almost 30 pages (in Google Doc format), and does a TON to build the characters.

So far, Ch 18 is shaping up nicely.

I am So looking forward for your Next chapter...Can You please give us an tentative date for its apparence here

With the nature of my life it is impossible for me to guess when Chapter 18 will be finished. I have the first two parts up on Patreon, and I believe they are both publically viewable now. The third part is underway, and I expect one, maybe two to follow that.

I will keep posting sections to Patreon until the full Chapter is ready, and continue to devote the time I can spare outside of work and family towards that end.

While I appreciate the patience that my fans have shown, there is nothing I can do to speed things up right now. All I can do is focus on making the story as great as it can be, and treating the characters with the respect they deserve.

I'd guess you're likely tired or hearing that people are squicked by the rabbit sex scene, so I won't go into it that much. Personally the beastiality aspect is irrelevant to me, as I tend to look at it more along the lines of the person IN the body is what's important and whether they're in one of their natural forms or the other is irrelevant.

I simply got squicked by (you guessed it) sexual activity with another male by a bonded mate. Given that the bond is life-long, to me, I'd expect serious territoriality from the male in the bond when it comes to the females in the family group.

To me, one male with a small female family group is what I'd expect from most therianthrope varieties, as it seems the most likely cross between the animal and human sides that I could see actually lasting. Admittedly it could just be a personal hangup of mine - I tend towards almost pathological territoriality.

Still reading, and am thankful for the work you put into telling the story. Just going to keep hoping that the story doesn't head somewhere I can't deal with! Again, my thanks for your work.

kaydaiyne

Sara's discovery in this chapter is explained a bit more fully in the next, though it sounds like her unearthed desires are not the center of your concern. I appreciate your open and honest admission that it's the idea of another man being brought into their family that bothers you.

That is not something that I'm interested in either, so I doubt it will make an appearance. That being said, as I have warned, there is a new character who will be introduced a bit in the future who will have no interest in sexual monogamy, and will take other lovers. My caution against freakout has been that her nature will not affect the rest of the characters, and her sexual proclivities will have little bearing on her love and adoration for Andrew and the rest of the girls.

Whether that makes a difference for you or not, I can't say. Further, until I begin to write her chapters, and start to get to know this character that I hold in my mind, I cannot be certain just how adventurous and amorous she will be. All of my characters have grown and changed well beyond what I intended as the events of the story has progressed, so it's hard to know what will happen.

Once we meet her, things will become more clear and understandable why she will have little to no interest in sexual exclusivity.

Thank you for the response.

Now I'm wondering what species you're planning to introduce that is somewhat indiscriminately amorous :)

No doubt a chunk of what bothers me is my own issues, but I think another part of it is if the main characters are exhibiting feline social behaviors, then tolerating multiple males just doesn't compute for me. Though with the bond interfering, I can see how pretty much any direction is possible.

With magic making physical changes, I guess there are even more possibilities. Biology is a bitch and I tend to think instinct isn't all that easy for a lot of people to overcome.

Whatever happens, it should be interesting!

Glad you enjoyed everything till now, and I hope you find something else that satisfies your interests.

Take care.

While waiting for the next chapter from Telfer, I decided to check out some of his favorite authors. Your story is one of the most captivating and enjoyable that I have read keep up the good work and I can't wait to read more.

Page two, the scene between Tani'm and Karen, now THAT was hot as fuck. The sex scenes after the first few chapters have been lack luster, but that short scene went miles above them. I don't know what went right in it, but I hope the quality keeps up.