All Comments on 'The Cabin Pt. 01'

ah, to be young and in love! Nice getaway!

This was a good start...Let's wait for what the following parts will bring us...Just a small detail: "She felt the soft touch of her lover's hands"...lover is a word with a narrow meaning...But he was her husband and husband is a word with a large meaning: lover, friend, companion, family...3*

More like an opening paragraph

On opening afternoon, leading to a weekend of escape, there are so many possibilities of what the weekend might hold in store for 3 couples. For those of us who enjoy this subject theme, we can only envision the possibilities. We need the author to reveal what ideas they had in mind when writing this intro.

Please don't keep me waiting too long. It sounds like it will be a good read!

I think I'll wait for more of the story. This start is pretty skimpy, but it shows promise.

I didn't realize this was your first story. While everything I said still holds, this is a very good first chapter for a first time writer. I suspect you'll do very good. KEEP WRITING!

Loved it, yes its short but hints to what we would love to know more about!

Proofreading your story makes it much more enjoyable for the reader. The typos are distracting.

Keep going with the story please!

Good work on your first story John. If you want some help with editing for the next part you know where to find me

A firm grasp of the English language would have been useful in reading this.

Not knowing the difference between quiet and quiet was a glaring mistake taking me away from the story’s flow. Homophones didn’t help either.

At least this author avoid calling a woman’s middle her waste. I wonder if that story’s MC’s hands smelled awful after grabbing her waste so often.

Now, despite all my criticisms you made a great first effort. I wish I had the ability to write here, but I do not. Keep on writing. We need something fun to read before we die.

Bill S.