All Comments on 'The Caribbean Cruise'

The BBC syndrome.Always the same. Nothing new here. Been done wy to many times in the past. Stereotypical at best.Sorry

Typical Literotica LW trash. Absolutely NO standards in Literotica. Most tales in LW posted by emotionally deprived losers.

Sorry............this story line is lame and the use of grammar is just awful. Not sure how much experience this writer has but I would suggest that you find an editor and proof read your next submission.

out of the site. make it that you can't reply annoy. Please this piss ant is destroying aggregate web site

piss ants on this site the idiot crying about other peoples comments and this author.

More sickos yay. I see all the good authors have like Stand and TTT. I don't blame them as I'm sick of hanging in Cuckland too. Think it's time I exit this cesspool of depraved sickos. Damn erotica is great but you sick cucks take it way too far!!!

I liked the story.

What I don't like is the gutless wonders who can display their crappy comments as anonymous!

You have the right to comment in any reasonable way you want, but when you can't show your name - then you’re another bozo with an unwanted opinion.

LITEROTICA - MAKE EVERYONE SHOW THEIR NAME, OTHERWISE NO COMMENT WITH BE POSTED !!!!!!!!!!!!

Talk about a fucking loser Complains about an anon comment and uses a fake fucking moniker Can you spell hypocrite?

Do NOT write conversations as one paragraph. The general rule (not option) is to start a new paragraph when the speaker changes. It's also not a good idea to mix dialogue and narrative in the same paragraph.

<P>

Pick a point of view and stick to it. This mess switches from third person to first.

Looks like this is the end of this marriage. Marge just told her husband Jeff how wonderful Charles was and made her feel like nothing she has ever experienced before. She had so many orgasms she lost count and he went forever and explode uncharted territory and so deep inside her. He really stretched her out and she loved it. Somehow I think Marge will give Charles her home phone and cell numbers along with her email address. Jeff will never satisfy her again and I believe that Marge is also aware of this. Just like that song, Another one bites the dust!. Well told story.

The errors in the first three paragraphs made me wonder if English was the author's first language. Consider :

and enjoined sailing on cruise lines in the Caribbean.

point noir grapes.

but there was no seats available,

next to a wall were the black

But things things got better as the story progressed.

This story is in major need of editing.

I was most encouraged by your tale given it appears to be your first story. It might be interesting to see where you could take this from here. Some commentators suggested perhaps end of the marriage. That is one option. Other possibilities emerge such as new open marriage arrangements when they return or a promise to only do this in future "on tour". Story did need a final edit polish. Next time. Ken