All Comments on 'The Cave Ch. 04'

Dear Clunkety,

It was well written as always. Emotionally moving. All but one lose ends tied up.

You are so skilled at writing. I am glad I found your work.

That being said....I wish you had Pratt killed a horrible death for being the torturous monster he is! But, I understand your desire to end it the way you did. Nonhuman is a good category for this tale since you were able to cover a broad spectrum from Romance all the way to the other side of non consent. You did so with a deft touch. I have to give your story a 5 for that alone. It was engaging and beautiful. Both dark and light in equal measure. Would I have added a bit tonthe ending where this evil creature is no more and can harm no one else...?

Most certainly yes.

That I feel so strongly about that is because you wrote this much better than most people would for "just" an erotic story. You made me care for your characters.

I look forward to what you write next my friend.

Sincerely,

Payenbrant.

I don't think Pratt was a monster at all. Very primitive, but the way he could read women's emotions by their scent and the decisions he made based on that showed he had a moral code and a better character than a lot of people. I loved Pratt and I hope he finds happiness- can you write that story? Just find a way for the woman shower,shave and occasionally wear something cute once in a whille- Lol!That would be a very interesting read.

So thoughtful. I was repulsed and angry but also engaged and aroused through the story. I liked the end where you showed Pratt's intelligence and his heart through taking lost souls and putting them onto a happier path. I feel pretty sad for him though and wish there were someone of his kind for him to focus on. I am also curious what he was. We never found out.

Overall, I enjoyed it! Well done!

Cantfightfate probability put it better then I ever could so I will leave it at that . As usual I gave your tale 5 ***** 's and have enjoyed it well .

Thanks for the read it was great !

tx cracker

I had to wait a bit before I commented to let everything settle and to read it again...slower. I was so excited that it was posted that I devoured it the first time, huge tearing bites that gave me the flavor but none of the nuances. Then afterwards, like any great meal, I had to have leftovers when the flavors had time to blend. (Like my comparison? So proud of myself *snicker*)

The sad news is I now hate you. Why? Because you did the impossible. You had me feeling sympathy for Pratt. At the first read through, I felt his pain at losing Layla. For you to make me feel that emotion for a character that I had detested the entire story, shows how talented you are.

You did an amazing job with this story. It was not only pleasure to read, but sparked great debates between my partner and I. Well done.

I wanted her to go back to him! Or at least be with Riley! Gahh

Brb sulking for eternity

This story evoked so many emotions. As much as I was repulsed sometimes, I had to keep reading. It was very well written, and that made it hard to put down. Thank you.

I really wanted Riley to stay with her, maybe both of them ending up with Jack.

I loved this story and gave it a 5. I did feel though that Layla got over Pratt very quickly, which didn't make much sense. If she loved him, how could it be so simple, and fast for her to move on? the story was very original, save for the ending. The ending was kind of cheesy...'find a normal guy and live happily ever after.'

A very good read . . .

I really enjoyed this whole story. I liked the idea of it as well as the way the different characters were fleshed out and represented.

The philosophy behind what Pratt does to/for the women he takes is only implied at the end, but once you finish the whole story and then read it again with new eyes/understanding it really deepens the whole experience.

I could see this as a publishable story, and look forward to seeing what else you are willing to share with us here.

I can't wait to read what you write next ! ! !

I started reading this story shortly after you posted the first chapter. I didn't finish and completely forgot about until I noticed this chapter in the new story section. I really enjoyed this. Very well written. You tied up everything so nicely with this conclusion. Thank you for sharing this story. It really was a delight to read!

I came across this story about a few days ago while looking under the NonHuman tag - I started reading from Chapter 2, though, but it caught my attention and I continued to read it until I stopped. Only today did I go back to this story to finish it up and I am now in fuckiNG TEARS LIKE WHAT THE HELL. I mean, Literotica has the hottest sex stories I've read, but this story, man - WHY DID YOU MAKE ME CRY WHILE READING A LITEROTICA STORY??? I expected a lot of sex, what I never expected was my heart to get ripped out from my chest and be stomped on after Layla's release like seriously I was like literally saying 'WHERE'S PRATT WHERE'S PRATT' as I went through each page of this final chapter. I've gotten so attached to Pratt, the way that a monster being like him has a big heart (somehow) and like I was expecting Amy to be dead but Pratt just looks out for a mate for both her and Layla once they're released and it's just so heartwenching sad to see Pratt all alone now and watching Layla with her happiness from a distance amd dammit I was rooting for Layla to be with Pratt in the end, fuck! That time where Layla first got the choice to choose whether to escape the cave or stay, I was totally expecting her to stay and she did! But I totally did not expect Riley to come in because I just wanted only Pratt with Layla and dammit. Is this Stockholm Syndrome happening to me too??? Anyway, fucking amazing story with feels I didn't expect to have, and I'll just be here still crying my heart out and hoping that someone as gentle as Pratt (but is human being and doesn't live in a cave) would be my lover in the future~

Hit me right in the feels. Agree with the anon poster on 10/7. She got over it way too quickly, you don't get over that quickly if you love someone. Though this is definitely a diamond in the rough.

I read the entire story in one day. Extraordinary, intelligent storytelling.

I was, and am still, affected by this tale. I was rooting for Pratt. But I felt the way it was written, albeit not what my heart wanted, was realistic. This is my new favorite story on Lit.

-Dakota

@Anon - People adjust to loss in their own time. Some very quickly. The author had set the precedence of an individual who adjusts to change quickly early-on in the story, and maintained that character trait throughout in a very consistent manner.

How enlightening to get into Pratt's mind. He clearly understands a lot more than Riley thinks he does - rude of her to dismiss him as little more than an amoeba.

I don't understand how some readers wanted revenge on Pratt. Sure, he did kidnap the girls and committed sexual assault. But from his POV, he acted as any animal would - driven by the need for sex, food, shelter, companionship. And he did, ultimately, let them all go - realizing that they all had lives outside in the human world.

Of course, all this could have been avoided if there was a female Pratt-ricia. Is he the last of his kind? Did his species disappear because of human encroachment? We're not told what he is, not that it really matters.

Because, ultimately, this is a story about basic human need for companionship. And he is right, Layla did love him - though it would have been impossible to keep her there forever. She needs additional stimulation (i.e. her writing) to make her complete. I do hope, though, that a human hunter never captures/kills him. He deserves to live his life in peace. Do I detect, though, that by the end of the story, he has learned not to kidnap any more women?

luv2read2

It’s been brought to my attention how terrible I am cultivating relationships with my readers. You have all taken the time to write me thoughtful, insightful and in some cases lengthy reviews, I feel I owe it to you to respond in some way.

First, in respect to Pratt’s character, I’m overwhelmed how intense some of your responses are on both spectrum ends. I am touched at your truly honest and raw reactions (I’m looking at you, Anon from 10/20/15) and have especially enjoyed the disputes, of which there are plenty.

The most recent Anon suspected by the end of the story Pratt had stopped “kidnapping” (I prefer the term liberating) women, but he has not. “Sometimes on rainy nights [Pratt] could still detect [Layla] in the fur blankets, even while his newest tribute was sleeping there.” Ultimately, Pratt is a creature of habit and he, like Layla, makes an honest effort to move on. Stress effort. After all, Pratt still snoops around her property line and Layla strives to keep her experiences alive by writing them as fiction.

Many of you have asked what Pratt is and where he came from. I know the answer to both these questions and have hinted through email to those who have personally asked. It was my decision not to include such details because it would ruin Pratt’s mystery. One thing I will disclose: there is only one Pratt. No “Pratt-ricia”s. XD

Some readers wanted Layla to stay with Pratt in the cave. I wanted this too. Pratt, however, would not let me. How can anything be yours forever if you do not first let it go?

Which brings me to my final thought: a sequel has been nagging at me for months now. This time, entirely in Pratt’s POV. Just cloudy notions swirling in my brain at this point, but so was The Cave when I was considering an entry for one of the Halloween contests.

Again, thank you all for reading and I especially thank you for the comments. I hope they do not stop.

Clunk

I struggle so much with nonhuman stories, they all seem so trite...so Twilight.

This was refreshing, honest, twisted, and captured my attention so fully. Thank you, and I hope when I go to your submissions page there is more than just this series!

I liked the fact that the women all moved on from their dead-end relationship.

On the other hand, maybe someone needs to take Pratt in and care for him. Kidnapping women and raping them in a cave can't possibly lead to a fulfilling long-term relationship.

Nearly dumped this read after the first couple of chapters. Very glad I didn't! Totally engrossing and so unexpected; well done.

I loved it and the bittersweet ending made me tear up. Great drawing in the small MN communities in, as well. More please

So glad I found this story. After starting it, I couldn't stop! Five Stars for a truly intriguing story. Maybe one of Pratts future captives knows Sign language, and can teach It to him. Just a thought, his story doesn't have to end. Hint hint.

I hate your story. I HATE it so much. Why? Why! Why did you have to have this happy ending? Why? Why couldn't Riley just ... just stay? Why did she have to leave

me. When she was so, so happy with... Why? Riley and Layla could've been happy and sad together and it would have been so easy and...

I hate this story so much.

Why did you have to break my heart. again. like this?

love, `phfina.