All Comments on 'The Challenge Ch. 01'

I could see this being made into

a full Starz network style movie

staring someone like Jes Macallan.

Ray REALLY seemed shy and you made it real. Loved the slow seduction, although I don't know if his "stamina" could be so readily gained. The only disconnect I had was them rolling around in the money on the bed, as I thought from where you were going that such an image would not appear since she was no longer thinking of seducing him as a money thing. I would have changed that--I would have kept her getting the money, doing the show, but not rolling around in it. The rest I buy and you kept it slow-going and believable. Keep it up! The only suggestion I would make is that while not every orgasm must be well-detailed, I would detail some more of them, rather than just a straight ejaculation without extra description (did the toes curl, did one have a tingling in the back,etc.).

turned the son into her cuckold and made him eat the black mans cum from her well fucked cunt after she fucked him. fuck the boy once for the money and then she should have made Ronnie a regular and made her son eat the cum from her cunt every time they fucked and kept son in chastity ever afterward. take him out and milk him once every six months or so but never let his lil white dicklet near her black owned pussy again.

I must say, you can write. You have a grand imagination and can clearly hold suspension of disbelief. Right up to the point where she does a black dude in front of her son as a means of encouragement for his participation in their consummation. Some how, this doesn't fit. She is a ravenous slut, you painted that part of the character well, but it's Ray who's reaction does not work. His attitude is reserved and uncertain. One of virginity and indecision, yet you have him wanking in a closet. She never caught him tossing much less even showing interest in his observing her nudity. The progression at the end works though some of the amounts do seem a bit verbose, her tit size, his now 40 million from 20. Also the whole " I'm your mother" and calling her mom in public and displays in public. I think that addressing their public appearance would have been a good idea. It does work with the forgetting about the purpose of her having sex with Ray in the first place. A good read all in all, just was a serious down curve in the anticipation of the stories obvious outcome.

This is a beautiful and very hot take by a highly gifted writer on the most exciting kind of fucking there is, motherfucking. The mother, Julie, really is a slut. To put it bluntly, her cunt is open for business to all comers. But she undergoes a change when her emotional relationship to her boy Ray begins to turn into a full-fledged physical relationship. Ray is like most sons. When his mom starts coming on to him he's embarrassed and red-faced. After all, he's never even been with a female. But Julie takes it very slow, the sign I think that this is the one male she really desires. Ray breaks out of his shell, the turning point is when she hugs him and feels her boy's hard on pressing against her. His mother gets wet between her legs, and they're off to the races. Ray consents (ha!) to his mom sucking him off, Julie loves getting a big mouthful of her boy's creamy semen, all the fucking time. She blows him morning, noon, and night, she can't get enough of what her boy's got in his hot young balls. Finally--finally--Ray fucks his mother, it's so nice when a boy's first fuck is his own mother, and Ray discovers that nothing in life compares to sliding his hard young cock up his mother's warm wet twat, unloading his balls up the same cunt he came out of, and shooting his mom a big twatful of sperm. I'm sure that Ray'll be doing that for many, many years to come, and that Julie's cunt will be strictly off-limits to any cock but her own boy's.

MFW, you added the guy from the other Mother/son story. The sister/ sister aspect of the story was pretty interesting, didn't find the Mother pretty much being a slut so enticing though.

This is one of the best stories i have ever read. Great job.

This was OK. Unnecessarily long and drawn out. Boring in places. Mom's strategy and Ray's dimwitted stupidity really didn't ring true. Writing was OK, certainly nothing special. The $20 million was ridiculous. Sorry... wish I could be more enthusiastic.

but the destination was worth it.

Thanks for the good read

I've read the story a couple times, and it seems really strange - reading the various "readers' comments" - that people seem to be picking on that $20 million as some sort of "ridiculous" figure. Seems to me, folks ought to drop back a few yards and do some considering, before deciding something like that.

First, though this story borrows some notions from the old "Indecent Proposal" film from some years ago (Robert Redford offers Woody Harrelson a cool million if Woody will let Redford spend a night in bed with Woody's wife, Demi Moore) there are some twists that the film's plot didn't have.

In the story, rich-man Bob is challenging Julie to commit an act that - in Georgia, where she resides - is classed as a felony. If she's caught, she would lose her RN license (and, thus, her livelihood), face up to 30 years in state prison, and - after her release - be forced to register as a sexual offender.

That's just the LEGAL aspect. What if she attempts to seduce her son, Ray, and he is totally repulsed by the idea of having sex with his mother, money or not? Would he 'disown' her, as being some sort of sexual pervert?

That's quite a risk, then, that Julie is being asked to take. The 'reward' offered, then, needs to be sufficient to convince her to accept the challenge, despite the risk that is involved in it. Even after the taxmen get done with the $20 Mil, there's be enough left for Julie and Ray to live quite comfortably, and not have to work another day.

"In the five years since your father died, I've had sex with over 40 men. I just walk up to them, work my 'magic', and then drag them away from whatever woman they're with, and we fuck!"

Of course, her son doesn't believe her, so she arranges a demonstration with a conveniently drooling-over-her nearby dude. Poor son is supposed to hide in the closet and watch his mother fuck one more random stranger.

After that, I don't think I'd want to touch the woman with a "thirty-nine-and-a-half foot pole" - at least, not until she'd had some serious medical tests for STD's run on her!

Overall it was a decent story my friend but one big part was unnecessary. The mother making her son hide in the closet while she had sex with the black man was not consistent with the rest of the scenario. It seemed as if she wanted her son to be a cuckold instead of a lover which turned me off because I am not into cuckold stories. I realise that you intend to put interracial themes into your stories but this looked like it was shoehorned in as an excuse to do so and nothing more. You already established that the mother is a slut beforehand so I fail to see the point. If you are going to write interracial stories at least keep them separate from the incest stories please and thank you.

2 stars for no condoms in the story.

5 ***** Well written story. Thanks for the share.

And well worth the read.

Thanks for a well done story.

Great concept, flawless execution. It was developed as well as most movies I've seen lately. Kudos!

Enjoyed immensely, great plot, great writing, thank you.

... where, as Ray's confidence grows and his skills improve, Julie's 2 sisters decide they'd like to take him for a ride? As for some of the other comments? Ignore them. In my opinion it's insulting to have someone tell you that you should have written the story more to their liking.

This is an incredible piece of work, both me and my mother enjoyed it alot.

This was good, but I wish she wouldn't have told him about the money. I'd have preferred a story where she tried to seduce him into going for it on his own.

This plot has been done and done poorly over and again. This story handled it really well. Good on ya.

Really liked it in all aspects, just a few missing words here or there and a little transitional struggle as far as writing goes. I would love if you would (or have) made more of a seduction plot line as you seem to be pretty good at the mother son thing. Well done

This was an amazing read.

This was a good story, but way to long & drawn out...

Great build up to the events, well written and very enjoyable. I could really believe that it was happening and the $20 million is a great figure to shot for!

Love long stories that build up to a mom and son fucking! This was really hot!

This story was so hot I could not help but to get turned on. Your character development was really good. You took your time with the sex scenes which made for better reading.

Your story started off well, but quickly fell off as you went further. For one, you left out any descriptions of the son's equipment, even though you were the opposite with the Mom's lovers, Bob and Ulysses. You would use terms like "thick", "massive", etc while only using terms like "nice" or "healthy " to describe the son. The last two are very vague descriptions that tell your readers nothing.

Also, even more disappointing, was your decision to have the Mom take a lover during her vacation trip with her son. Not only did it strike me as a pointless endeavor, as the son had been making steady progress under the Mom's guidance, but it also seemed very disrespectful (on the Mom's part) and intrusive. After all, their vacation trip was supposed to be a time of intimacy for the two, and why should the son have had to settle for sloppy seconds? It seemed oddly emasculating and extremely poorly ill-timed. Just something to think about in the future.

but you jumped from months of buildup to merely telling us they were, or had, or were going to again, and again. but absent any descriptions or learning. was he to have become an expert by watching her once?

You know, I think this might be the single most realistic take on parent/offspring incest I've ever read. (Except perhaps for the money.) The slow, gradual breaking down of moral barriers followed by days of unbridled debauchery upon reaching a milestone. Very good. Very believable. You've got the pacing of this story down hard.

for the twist...such as Ray being offered money to be celibate...

The original story is better in several ways than the follow on stories... It lacked a certain something and the fake tits were a put off... but still excellent.

love this story. the way that you slowly broke down the son was so much better then most. most stories have. the son just a little too willing.

What a refreshing read! I appreciate the time you spent showing Julie & Ray's struggle w the Challenge. I prefer reading a longer story where you can get to know the characters better.

Sorry, it's a good story. But 20 million is out of sight. One, you never explained how rich he was. Two, his request is reasonable not outlandish.

I think 2 million would have been sufficient, if not overly generous.

Thanks Don

that was amazeballs

Yes, the story was amazing and well enough written. Some grammar is distracting since no one seems to know the difference between lie and lay, but it doesn't matter.

What is totally bizarre is all the weirdos who jerk off through the whole story and then tell you that it is not believable, or sick, or too long, or orgasm need to be described, or the descriptions are too long, or the black guy, or the incest, or the money, or the locations of the planets, or whatever! These are stories that address fantasies and are great fun, and in some instances reflect real situations more often than one might think. The good ones, like this one, reflect the special love that exists between a mother and son, or a father and daughter. And to those who think this is wrong, go read something else, but don't forget to clean up after yourself when you finish jerking off from these wonderful stories. And remember, some of them are true...

What a great story! Fantastic build up, wasn't to fast nor to slow. Had all the right elements to be a top read if not the top read in this section.. Thank you for this great story..

5 stars but did she stop fucking others after having 40 different men in 5 years.

When I saw the "...new triple D sized, teardrop-shaped implants..." I quit reading.

Why?

1) I don't like big tits. ESPECIALLY when they "Have no sag" which is bull shit.

2) I don't like plastic tits-- they feel like shit.

3) #1 and # 2 combined equals a GIANT ZERO.

Slut mom and reluctant son for 7 pages, ugh.

After all that buildup, the author missed a great chance for a socko ending. Instead of doubling the money, the old guy, knocked for a loop by everything he saw and the blowjob he got, wobbles his way to his desk, opens the drawer and pulls out his checkbook, picks up his pen . . . . and keels over, dead, before he can give them a penny.

By the way, the idea of anyone's writing a personal check for $40 million is beyond naive and ridiculous.

Okay, anyone can understand the image of a shy, timid, virginal, insecure guy who's totally hopeless when it comes to girls or women. But for him to be on the verge of panic at each and every minor move along the slow, gradual road to having sex with his mother was so extremely abnormal that he needed continuing treatment by a psychiatrist more than he needed his mother. Plus, his terror didn't seem to about committing incest, just about sex.