All Comments on 'The Chronicles of Ben Merriman #01'

Can't wait for more....!

Thanks for your continued great efforts.

C

You have a real talent for buildup & dialogue - not to mention some exciting descriptive action. Anticipation for #02 is high.

Well written, bravo. Truly one of the best, and I hope you keep writting.

What a great start. Great topic and subject matter and amazingly well written. You capture the style and flavor of a hard-boiled detective story really well. Ben is a fun character and great protagonist and I look forward to him handling his cases. The interaction and chemistry with Caroline is sizzling, so I hope you will explore it further.

This appears to be the first story you've done that is numbered as like a chapter 1. That being the case I hope you will doe a #02 Chronicles of Ben Merriman because the story and characters you've set up here are awesome. It would be really disappointing if you don't follow up on this. Please continue with this one as you've struck gold here!

great story cannot wait for more

well written, nice descriptions. plot is interesting, looking forward for the next parts. character descriptions could be little deeper

i really enjoyed that, great use of detail as well as great buildup and a good storyline. can't wait for part 2!

Good story, interesting and fast paced. Somewhat unbelievable, but that is ok, that is what we are looking for isn't it!

Very Hot Story

can't wait for part 2!!

Give us part two that was simply wonderful!

I wanted to be selfish and just get to the second story but I believe in doing the right thing. this story was a bad indulgence it's like a action packed movie in which you don't think. I'm not offending you all i'm saying the story was great. Awesome imagery.

I really loved the story. I didn't even mind that it was told from a first person point of view. What really bothered me and was kind of a turn off was the shift from past tense when Ben told the story to present tense when a different character, i.e. Jackie, contributed.

Most stories, whether true or not, are written in past tense. This is mostly done to let the reader know that the action has already happened and is just being retold.

I certainly feel it makes for a smoother story if just one tense (past or present) is chosen.

Very very good!!! Hope you release more chapters soon!!

I have just read the first few paragraphs and recognized the hero as having many similar characteristics, except for being the introverted male, to Veronica Mars.

Did they use this story as a template for that TV series?

Wow that Jaquelyn perspective was hot; would love to see some more from her. Series in general is really well done and the perspective shifts are well handled and not jarring. Perhaps a little overly focussed on anal?