The Chronicles of Harold the Healer Ch. 08

"I'm perfectly fine with that," he replied. "If I ever had any doubts about her need to go to the Magic School, they were drop-kicked into the harbour a few minutes ago." Millie blushed again. "We've got about three and a half hours to boarding time, and we'll use it to get something to eat. And I promise you, her singing will be so much the sweeter after you hear the awful noises I will make." They smiled and parted ways, with Andrea returning to the ship and the other two making their way down the pier.

"I was watching what you were doing," Harold said as they reached the end of the pier. "You managed to tie Magic into the song and use it to soothe those poor horses without actually casting a spell. You are going to totally impress the hell out of the Assessors when you go before them."

"What can I expect from it? Is it a trial of some sort?" Millie asked, looking worried. "What happens if I fail? Can I fail?" He smiled reassuringly.

"It isn't a pass or fail. What they do is ask you to try some things to see where your natural talents are so that they can put you into the appropriate program. Music is obvious, but there may be a few other things that you don't know about, like Healing for example." Her eyebrows elevated. "Think about it. You used the power of a song to calm about four tons of frightened horses. What could you do to help the mentally ill? We have only the basic understanding of what goes on in the brain, and possible causes for things like schizophrenia, depression, bipolar disorder, post-traumatic stress disorder, and more. Those people suffer so much, and there's so little that we can do for them."

"I never thought that music had such power," she replied thoughtfully as they walked down Water Street. "I had better be careful." Harold nodded.

"It never occurred to me, either. I enjoy listening to it, but it has never affected me the way it seems to affect most people, and I never gave it much thought."

"Ah, here's a Ladies' Shop. They probably have some of the tea that I will be needing." Despite the overuse it had suffered yesterday and this morning, Harold's cock twitched at her hot stare. She smiled an only slightly predatory smile. "I felt that little flash of desire. When you and I are alone in our tiny cabin tonight, we will get naked and see what it will take to transform that spark into a fire." Her lips were just brushing his as she finished the sentence, and she punctuated it by darting her tongue between his lips.

"Maybe I will have to massage you into a Millie-shaped pile of goo and eat and fuck you into a state of ruin so complete that you'll sleep for the rest of the trip," he whispered back. The flare from her response was unmistakeable.

"If it weren't for the rain and indecency laws, I'd be going after you here and now," she growled as she opened the door, and he grinned at her. He collapsed the Ward, but maintained the spell so that it could be recalled when they left the store. It was not a large place, maybe 40 feet wide by 60 deep, and had a doorway in the back with a pale pink curtain and a sign next to it that said 'Adults Only!'. The sales counter was on the left side and had a glass display case beneath it that contained, among other things, a selection of attractive square metal tins that apparently contained tea. As Millie interacted with the proprietor, a grandmotherly-looking woman, Harold looked around with interest. Bras and panties of various styles were on display in racks, along with some office wear, evening wear, and work wear, and even some shoes and boots. The bookshelf on the left wall by the window held titles like "My Handy Hired Hand" and "Thrust into the Spotlight." The display copies showed pictures of attractive models in suggestive poses, with the woman dominant. He didn't touch them.

"I could probably write an entire library of these things with all the stuff I've done over the years," he muttered to himself, shaking his head and grinning. Millie exchanged two doubloons for a tin, removed her pack and let it slide to the floor with a thump and a groan as she flexed her shoulders and grimaced. She then opened the pack and managed to cram the tin on top before closing it again.

"Can I help you, sir?" inquired the proprietor, directing her attention to him.

"Is there a good place to eat around here, ma'am?" he asked politely. "We have to get on a ship in about three hours and haven't eaten for a while."

"The Duck and Dragon is a few doors down that way," she said, pointing in the way they had been going. "The food and service are good and it's pretty quiet at this time of the day." Millie managed to remount her pack on her shoulders, and he offered Polite Bow #3 in response.

"Thank you very much for the tea. It will be very helpful," she said, giving him a Meaningful Look.

"Help me," replied the Mage in a falsetto squeak, making the proprietor laugh loudly as Millie herded him out the door. He hastily reactivated the Ward, as the rain had intensified somewhat.

"Oh, there's the place," he said, pointing to a tastefully painted wooden sign that projected over the sidewalk a few doors down, as promised. "All the Healing has made me hungry again."

"I'm feeling it too," she replied as they walked towards the pub. "Singing the song with the Magical enhancement was much more tiring than regular singing usually is." Harold allowed the spell to lapse as they entered. It was warm and quiet inside, with some muted conversations from patrons that occupied three of the booths that lined the walls. The darkly-stained wood of the booths and trim contrasted with the white paint on the walls and ceiling. It didn't take long for the waiter to notice them and come to the desk where the sign read "Please wait to be seated" by which time they'd removed their packs.

"A table for two?" he inquired. He was short and balding, with a fringe of white hair and sharp blue eyes that quickly assessed them for likelihood to cause trouble, and they responded with their most winning smiles. "I've got lots to choose from at this time of the day, so I'll put you here," he concluded, leading them to a booth on the right side of the room near the kitchen door, where they plunked their packs on the benches by the wall before seating themselves. "Our lunch special is chicken vegetable soup with a ham and cheese sandwich."

"On a rainy day like this, that would hit the spot," said Harold, getting an enthusiastic affirmative nod from Millie. The waiter smiled and exited through the kitchen door. "Ladies first?" the Healer inquired, gesturing towards the back wall, where there was a doorway with a sign indicating men's and women's restrooms.

"An excellent idea," she responded, getting up and scooting through the doorway, leaving Harold alone for the first time since he'd arrived at the Fair yesterday. He would have to find some time to update the journal that he kept to record the things for which he could bill the Kingdom. He sent in lists by mail from time to time on his long journey, but since he was always on the move, he knew that the funds would not catch up with him until he either visited the Capital or could find a place to stay for a while; the former looked like the option that was going to occur. Millie appeared five minutes into his musing looking relieved and he hopped up and took his turn.

"Nothing marks civilization like flush toilets and indoor plumbing," he said upon his return.

"Not to mention central heating," she replied as the waiter appeared holding a tray that had two bowls of soup, two small plates with generously stuffed sandwiches, glasses of water, spoons and napkins, all of which were efficiently distributed with vocal thanks from the recipients. They wasted no time making the food disappear, and gratefully accepted the offer of coffee once that delightful task had been completed. "That was really good," Millie murmured as the very empty dishes were removed.

"That'll probably cost us, but it will be worth every penny," Harold replied with a quiet burp. "One thing you learn very quickly in the Army is to never turn down a chance to eat, sleep, or visit a privy."

"They probably train you to eat quickly as well," she observed with a smirk.

"You should talk," he retorted with a smirk of his own. "It was all I could do to keep up with you."

"I haven't been this stuffed since this morning," she added, giving him a look.

"All without a sausage in sight," he replied, pretending to ignore her double entendre and getting a hot stare for his effort, which made him snicker. "We should make our way back to the ship. We've still got lots of time, but you never know." He looked around expectantly, but only the waiter appeared with the bill, which caused their eyebrows to rise, but they dug into their pockets and paid up, including a tip, which brought a smile to his face.

"Thanks for coming," he said, making their coins disappear. "Have a good day." Harold was still checking the room, eyeing the other diners, some of whom were also finishing their early lunches, while others were appearing at the door, as they dragged their packs off the benches and got them on.

"What are you looking for?" asked Millie curiously as they walked to the door.

"Now is about the time when Something Happens," he said as they stood aside while the waiter led two men and two women in nice-looking business wear to a booth. "Just when I think that I'll get a free run to wherever I want to go, there will be a medical emergency or something else that requires me to use my skills and absorb the comfortable buffer of time. The usual result is that I miss a stagecoach and I'm forced to walk."

"Like what happened at the pier?" He nodded and cast the Ward again, carefully making the movements for her to watch, and they stepped out into the rain, which had lightened up. The sky was also lightening up, hinting that the rain would soon end. "On the few occasions when it doesn't happen, I get edgy waiting for the boom to fall."

"It sounds like you think that someone is behind it," she commented as they walked past the Ladies' Shop, which had a few patrons in it. He nodded, looking resigned.

"Deities seem to have their own sense of humour, one that doesn't always mesh with ours," he said dryly. "I haven't encountered many Mages since I left Carcosa, and none of them were much interested in discussing their interactions with Deities."

"A Code of Silence," she said thoughtfully as they threaded their way through groups of citizens, all of whom had waterproof boots and brightly-coloured umbrellas to keep themselves dry. "Hmm, maybe the God here actually wants us to get to the ship on time." Water St. had been laid out parallel to the shore, so that one side had shops and the other side was open and looked out onto the harbour, which was about ten feet below and accessed by a wide road that was on a sufficiently gentle slope that horse-drawn wagons with heavy loads could go up and down it with minimal discomfort. The intersection was busy enough to warrant a pair of traffic-control cops who stood on an island in the middle of the roundabout and made sure that pedestrians could cross the streets safely and that the steady stream of traffic to and from the piers moved in an orderly way. Harold and Millie waited patiently with a few others until the whistles stopped the traffic and they scooted across Water St and walked down the sidewalk to the roadway that connected the piers.

"Is that...?" Harold asked, pointing to the back of a wagon that was hauling a load of something up the road. Sitting on its back was an older man with a fringe of gray hair, wearing nondescript clothes and a broad-brimmed beige hat, similar to Harold's. He smiled and winked at them, and after the two had looked at each other in surprise and then looked back, he was gone. They bowed in the direction of where he'd been, then turned and hustled across the connecting road and onto the pier to which their ship was tied. "That is why I feel that I need to be on my best behaviour," he commented dryly. "I noticed that the local Deities were keeping an eye on me as I was traveling around with my Army unit during my first term of service, and after my time in Carcosa as I've wandered around, they've showed up and guided me, sometimes even physically taken me, to places where I was needed."

"I get to make love to a man who's a Deity magnet," she whispered into his ear.

"Well, I do seem to have attracted a goddess to me," he replied, staring into her blue eyes and giving her rump a squeeze.

"Flattery will get you somewhere - into my bed, you silver-tongued rascal!"

"I wonder what this silver tongue will do between your legs? Maybe you'll find out some day." Her hot retort was cut off by the voice of the Captain from above them.

"There you two are. We're all loaded up and ready for you to work your Magic, Healer Harold." They moved to the foot of the gangplank as she and the entire crew of fifty looked on.

"Permission to come aboard, Captain?" Harold asked loudly, saluting in the Kingdom Army's way with his clenched right fist over his heart, knuckles facing up.

"Permission granted, Healer Harold Moser and Millie Nordstrom." They offered Polite Bow #2 and walked up the narrow wooden gangplank, which was thick enough that it didn't bend under their weight. "We have opened all of the doors and hatches inside the ship so that our unwanted little guests may depart with maximum speed," she added as they arrived on the deck.

"Oh, thank you," Harold replied, surprised. "That's why you're the Captain," he added with a grin, which she returned. "I need to go below for the maximum effect. Um, should we pull away from the pier so that the guests don't run onto it?"

"Cast off!" Captain Toscarelli ordered. Four crew ran down the gangplank, untied the four thick ropes from the bollards that secured the ship to the pier and ran back, while others pulled the ropes onto the ship and coiled them up in their designated spaces. After a long pause, the ship began to drift away from the pier. When it was about ten feet away, she ordered "Drop anchors!" and the fore and aft anchors dropped into the water with loud splashes and rattling of chains. By this point, Harold and Millie had shed their backpacks and the rain had become a light drizzle. "You can go down that hatch," she added, pointing to the top of a ladder that peeked out from a four-foot-square opening in the deck that had reinforcements around it. Leaving his pack on the deck by the foremast, Harold managed to descend the ladder without falling onto his ass, despite the gentle rocking of the ship and the wet rungs.

"Are your ship's pets secured?" came his disembodied voice from below.

"They are," replied the Captain, speaking down the hole. "You may sing when ready."

"Oh, I see their cages here in the corridor. I will put them to sleep to spare them the trauma." There was a pause while he did so. "For maximum effect, I will cast the Amplify spell to make my voice louder." Millie was looking down the hatch too, saw him make some motions with his hands and fingers and heard him say "Vox magna". "This song contains vulgar lyrics and may offend those of delicate sensibilities," he continued, his voice now significantly louder. There was some laughter that was drawn out as the crew who understood Kingdom Standard translated for those who didn't.

He cleared his throat, coughed, and began. "This is the story of Charlie MacVay, whose dick was thick and long. He promised a lady he'd met that day she'd fuck his mighty dong." It was a well-known song, sung in bars and barracks, with a simple, straightforward tune, but he kept wandering from key to key and his singing voice had weird harmonics that grated on the nerves like badly-tuned bagpipes mixed with a squeaky cart wheel. It only took a couple of minutes before the first rat ran up the ladder of the aft hatch and flung itself over the edge of the ship, squeaking in pure terror. It was soon joined by a steady stream of others from both hatches, plus the open hold that had had a ladder put up its side for their convenience. A really low note about three-quarters of the way through made the whole ship vibrate and increased the rate of rat escapes.

"Oh no, this song has a high note at the end," Millie said to Andrea.

"I wish that he'd put us to sleep too," the Captain replied through gritted teeth. "Ugh, I never knew that a person could make such noises!" He hit the high note and finished the song, but by then there were no more rats on board. Blessed silence, punctuated only by the various creaks and squeaks made by the ship as it rolled on the gentle swell in the harbour, fell. It took a few seconds for the crew, who'd stuffed fingers in their ears in a desperate and futile attempt to block the awful noise, to realize that it was over and to relax and start murmuring to each other. Harold stuck his head out of the hatch, having climbed partway up the ladder, and asked cheerfully,

"Anyone up for an encore?"

"NO!" they all yelled, making him flinch, then grin.

"Ahoy, Regina Parma!" came a voice from the pier, where a small crowd of worried-looking people had gathered. "Are you all right? What the hell was making that noise?"

"Raise anchor! Let's get moving!" the Captain ordered the crew, who quickly busied themselves winding the anchors up and scurrying up the rigging to unfurl sails. "We're fine, thank you," she bellowed back. "It was our rat removal exercise, which is now concluded. Sorry about the noise." They waved at the crowd, who waved back and dispersed. There wasn't much wind to help them move, and all sails were released to catch what they could as the slowly retreating tide got them out of the harbour and into the open ocean, at which point the wind picked up, the drizzle stopped and the sun started to peek through the clouds, promising a fine afternoon.

Once the sails had been set and the course and speed established, the latter by the time-old practice of dropping a log with a rope attached to it at the bow of the ship and timing how long it took to reach the stern, Harold and Millie watched with interest as the officers and crew assembled amidship around the entrance to the hold, which had had its cover laid down and attached. Each held a shot glass, into which the Captain and First Mate poured a measure of wine. The First Mate gave the two passengers a glass and wine as well, for which they thanked her. When all had been served, the Captain filled a regular wine glass half way and raised it, as in a toast.

"Great God of the Sea," she said in Argosian, which Harold translated for Millie's benefit, "we humbly request your aid and protection for our voyage to the Capital of The Kingdom. To your health!" They all repeated "To your health!" and clicked their shot glasses on those of as many of their immediate neighbours as they could, then downed the contents in a gulp. The Captain poured the wine in the wine glass over the rail into the ocean and they all cheered, then broke up to attend to their regular duties.

"Does this happen on all ships?" Millie asked as they stood by the foremast to be out of the way.

"Probably," Harold replied, watching the activity with interest. "They certainly did for the fleet that left for Carcosa. Mariners are full of superstitions, and I suppose that they see a bottle of wine as a small price to pay for a safe trip. And that was really good wine, so I hope that the Great God of the Sea will be pleased enough with it to ignore our passage across His domain."

"Not being noticed by Deities or Great Gods is a good thing," Millie mused as Andrea approached.

"I'll take you to your cabin now," she said cheerfully. Harold and Millie were led to their cabin belowdecks, which was small, as he had predicted, but it had a double bed that folded down from the far wall on the bed's long side and a porthole that could be opened for ventilation if necessary.