All Comments on 'The Citadel Ch. 02: The Watchtower'

Your descriptive writing in this story is exceptional. Beg you to pay no attention to previous comments to the contrary. Looking forward to seeing where the story leads.

If there are inconsistencies: there are bones on her plate but she cleans the plate. Bones included?

It needs to be taken down a notch, it's over descriptive and yet, it's not realistic. "She stared blankly ahead, her gaze transfixed at the brazen belt buckle above his stiff member, as she was used like a mindless object that only existed to satisfy his voracious lust. All she could do was to keep her lips wide open and concentrate on the short moments when his slick cock slid far enough out to allow her a shallow gasp for air.

The constant rhythm of his relentless thrusts caused her to lose any sense of time. Occupied by the revolting act that had brutally taken possession of her very self, she could no longer tell how long she had been assaulted by her violator. Her mouth filled by his cock, a stiffling sob of utter helplessness came up through her lips, as Scarface shallow breath whistled through his gritted teeth."

(She's too disengaged - she stared blankly ahead without without gagging or vomiting. Let's hear from her side instead of making her a robot that just swallows his cock and his cum - and thus, so is your audience.)

Your storyline is good. I'll keep reading.

I know your tags list BDSM but there’s absolutely nothing related to BDSM in the story. By its nature BDSM infers Safe, Sane and Consensual. So far she’s been kidnapped, beaten, bound and orally raped. I was hoping for a Reluctance story but obviously it’s not the case, so far.

It’s well written, descriptive and very intense. The dialogue seems to be a little at odds with the medieval/ fantasy setting but that’s not exactly a huge issue. Not sure how much I’m going to be able to read because rape stories are just a massive turn off, but I’ll persevere for now.

Thanks for sharing

Tess (uk)