All Comments on 'The Closet'

was thinking myself how time changed so fast! Could have done with being proof read.

For your first writing, NOT BAD at all.... next time flesh it in/out a little more... don't pay any attention to the other "critics" who probably couldn't write a word themselves.... obviously they have never heard of the VERY common "night ball" under the stadium's lights.... LOL..... DO get someone to re-read your work so as to eliminate any spelling, grammar or context problems...but EXCELLENT first effort!! Let's see another one.... keep the suspense, the slightly forceful boyfriend and the situational sex to which you couldn't say NO!! LOL

An interesting premise, but things happened MUCH too fast. It could have taken longer -- with more detail of intermediate steps of foreplay -- before he got his hand on her pussy. How about some kissing and feeling of breasts -- first through her blouse/sweater, then under it, then bare tit, etc. Remember that getting there is more than half the fun. Don't let the naysayers get you down.