The Coffee Shop Pt. 03

"Hello Sleeping Beauty," I teased him.

"Yeah, hi," he said groggily. "What time is it?"

"Oh about seven p.m.," I answered.

"Seven? We'll be late for the show!" He exclaimed as he bolted up in the bed.

"So what?" I asked. "You needed your rest. There will be other shows."

"But this one was special!" He protested. "It was going to be our first real date!"

"Andy," I said to him quietly. "Something happened to you this afternoon. I don't know what it was, but it was profound. You needed to rest. I saw no reason to wake you up just so we could go out on a date. Now I don't know about you, but I'm hungry. How does pizza sound? We can order it for delivery and save ourselves some trouble."

"Don't you want to know about what happened this afternoon, when we were in bed?" Andy asked me, blinking his eyes in confusion.

"Of course I do, but I would never pry," I answered him. "You'll tell me if you want me to know. Now about the pizza?"

"Yeah, okay. Pizza's fine. No anchovies, though," Andy answered still a bit confused.

I ordered the pizza from the bedside table. (I'm single. I know all the telephone numbers for the pizza places by heart.) "Pizza will be here in about forty-five minutes. I'm going to go get dressed and run a comb through my hair. I might suggest that you do likewise," I said to Andy. The last sentence came across a bit meaner than I intended but it did get Andy going.

I dressed in a clean pair of dark blue jeans and a black cowboy shirt, with a black belt and a pair of black socks. Simple and quick to put on. I went off to the kitchen to make a cup of tea while I waited for the pizza to arrive. Andy arrived in the kitchen a few minutes after I did. He was wearing a pair of tight blue jeans, with a brown belt, brown socks and a plain white dress shirt, unbuttoned at the neck. Andy took a seat opposite me at the kitchen table and made himself a cup of coffee.

Making a cup of coffee and a cup of tea can only take so long. We were soon sitting opposite each other nursing our beverages through the roaring silence that filled the room. It was so quiet that you could have hear a mouse hiccup. I was at a loss for words. I wanted to ask Andy to explain why he had broken down and cried himself to sleep in my arms, earlier this afternoon, but I couldn't I told him I wouldn't pry. I couldn't help wondering about it, though. Maybe I shouldn't have told him I loved him. Maybe that was too much for him. I felt better for telling him the truth, but maybe it had been a bad idea. Maybe I had scared him. I didn't know. One thing was for sure, though, I was really good at second guessing myself.

"Maybe I shouldn't have said it," I spoke at last. "But it is the truth. I do love you, Andy. You are a handsome man, but there is much more to it than that. You have a kindness, and a sweetness about you that only adds to the beauty within. I can only hope that you will believe what I am saying."

"I believe you, Paul," Andy said and sighed. "That's the problem. I'm fairly certain that I'm falling in love with you too. I didn't want to tell you that though."

"I'd be lying if I said I understood what you are trying to say, Andy," I said to him. "I love you, and you love me, or at least think you do. I don't get it. What IS the problem?"

Andy reached back and brought out his wallet. He flipped it open to reveal his RCMP identification card and badge. "This is the problem. I'm a cop."

"So? You're a cop. I work in an office. What's your point?" I asked still not seeing where he was going.

"Are you being deliberately dense or just plain stupid!" Andy yelled out at me jumping up from the table. He slammed his fist down hard on the table in frustration. It was a good thing that we had both finished our drinks. The force of his blow had caused our cups to topple over. Andy got up and walked around like a caged bear. This was a side of him I hadn't seen before. I didn't know what to make of it. Andy walked over to where I was sitting, and he leaned over me menacingly. It brought a chill to my spin.

"Do you remember Steven Stokes in the hospital?" He asked me coldly. "How would you like to have to visit me some night like that? The odds are that it will happen."

I looked up at him, finally understanding what he was trying to tell me. I was numb. I had not really considered that aspect of having a relationship with Andy. I looked at Andy unable to speak. I had no idea what to say to him. Andy stared down at me, as coldly as ever, as he waited for my reply. The minutes dragged on like hours. The silence in the room was overpowering. I slowly reached out my right hand and arm upwards to touch Andy's face. My fingers gently brushed against the left side of Andy's face. I saw a tremor pass through Andy's lips. The icy expression on his face cracked. It crumbled to pieces as his eyes welled up with tears, and his face melted into an expression of despair and agony. Andy slowly fell to his knees in front of me and buried his head in my lap as he started to sob. "I just couldn't do that to you," he cried. "I couldn't put you through that. I love you too much to put you through that. But I can't stop being a cop, either! I love being a cop! It's all I've ever wanted!"

My lips trembled, as I reached out and held Andy's head in my lap. Now it all made sense. Andy was torn between two loves, me and his devotion to his duty. What could I say to him? The truth. Only the truth. I lifted Andy's head and forced him to look me in the eye.

"Don't you know I'd rather have five minutes of wonderful with you, than a life time of loneliness and emptiness, such as I've known?" I croaked at him as I cupped his face in my hands. I was so overcome with my feelings for him, that I could barely talk. I kissed him on the mouth, mustering every ounce of passion, desire and love that I could. I held onto his head, and pulled him firmly towards me when he tried to back away. Andy finally gave up after a few seconds struggle and returned my kiss in full. Finally I released his head. Andy broke our kiss, sat back on his heels and looked at me, speechless.

"Damn it, Andy! I've been searching and waiting too long for someone like you to come into my life. If you think I'm going to give you up just because you might get hurt on the job, well, you don't know me at all!" I cried out to him. I took a couple of breaths and tried to calm myself. "Andy, whatever happens, we will deal with it. I'm not stupid. I know what I'm getting into. I know your job is full of risks, and I know I'm going to spend a lot of time worrying about you. But Andy, dearest, if I didn't admire and respect you for having the courage to take those risks in your job, I couldn't love you. It's all a part of who you are, and it is the whole man I love, not the cop, not the guy with the great body, not the wonderful hypnosis subject. It's all of them. It's all of you."

Andy looked at me and gulped a few times, but he didn't say anything.

"I can understand your desire to protect me, and how you might not want me to have to go through all the worrying, Andy," I said to him in a low and quiet voice. "But it comes as part of the package with you. If I love you, and I do, I'll accept that part of you with the rest. No one ever said love was easy."

Andy continued to look at me, silently.

"Maybe we are both reacting too quickly with this," I said to him. "How about we take it one day at a time and see how it goes? Who knows we might just find we each have habits that drive the other guy crazy. What do you think?"

Andy turned away from me to look at the wall. It was my turn to remain silent as he thought about what I'd said. After a few minutes Andy turned back to look at me. His expression was thoughtful, but cool. "I think that you don't know what you're getting yourself into, Paul," Andy replied. 'But it seems that I can't stop you, so....I'll have to do my best to help you through it." Andy smiled timidly at me. He got up and waved at me to follow him into the living room. He directed me to sit on the sofa. He walked a bit further and stopped in front of my stereo. He turned away from me and searched though my collection of CDs looking for something. I paid particular attention to his 'assets', when he bent over looking at the CDs near the bottom of the CD tower. Finally he located the CD he wanted and slipped it into the CD player. Andy fiddled with the CD player for a moment. I guessed that he was setting up a particular song to play. It turned out I was correct.

"I've thought about what you told me on our first date, Paul," Andy said softy. "I've been thinking about what it is that I feel for you. This song says it much better than I ever could." Andy pressed the 'PLAY' button. The soft sound of a guitar slowly filled the room as a song called 'Watch This', by the country and western singer Clay Walker started to play. To my amazement, Andy started to lip synch to the song, as he slowly waltzed over to where I sat looking at him in surprised delight. Andy 'sang' that song to me, although it was Clay Walker's mellow and sexy voice that poured out of the speakers.

It may have Clay Walker's voice, but it was Andy who was singing to me. The open, heartfelt expression on his face as he 'sang' for me was the most tender and touching scene that I've ever been privileged to witness. There was no doubt in my mind, or in my heart, that what I was hearing was what Andy felt, but could not seem to say.

The words resonated through me as I realized that what they said was true. (I'm sorry dear reader, but I cannot include the words to that song as it is copyrighted.)

When the last notes faded away, Andy was kneeling in front of me. He reached over and enfolded me in his arms. He kissed me slowly letting his lips linger on mine for an eternity. I slowly wrapped my arms around Andy and drew him to me. The magic lingered in the room. Not even the deathly quiet could break that spell. Andy nodded his head at me and stood up. He reached beside me and grabbed a few tissues from the box on the table beside the sofa. He wiped his face and eyes, and then leaned down and wiped my face. I had not realized until that moment that the two of us had come close to trying again. "I love you, you know," he said in a soft sweet low voice, his face graced with a small smile. Those few words carried a weight far out of proportion to their size. Andy had taken a very big step in admitting to me as well as to himself, that he loved me.

"I know...now," I whispered back to him. Andy turned and sat down on the sofa next to me. He took my hands in his and gazed into my eyes. Words were not necessary. He leaned forward and planted his lips on mine, pressing gently. I kissed him back. It was slow, sweet, and sensuous. The warmth of his lips on mine was more precious to me now, than ever before.

The doorbell rang, shattering the mood. I jerked in surprise at the noise. "DAMN!" I cursed. "Pizza's here!" I bounded out of my chair. Andy smiled at me as I headed to the front door to pay for and collect our dinner. I was back in only a few minutes, carrying an extra large pizza in my hands. Andy sat down at the dinning room table, while I got the plates and cutlery. We sat there and ate, and talked and drank, long into the night. The television remained off the entire evening. We spent a lot of time in front of the empty fireplace, holding hands, talking, and hugging and listening to a lot of romantic songs. What did we talk about all that time? Guess. I'm not saying. There are some things that you don't tell anyone, but your partner. I will say this though; a few more tears were shed, but they were tears of happiness, shed by both of us.

Somehow, in some way, against the huge odds stacked against us, two lonely, caring and deeply compassionate men had found each other. We decided to take the chance that fate had offered us and build a future together. We didn't have much, but we had hope, and a strong belief in our love for each other. Andy stayed the night. We spent it together in my bed, entwined in each other's arms. The evening's events had exhausted us both. We fell asleep easily. ________

I opened my eyes, and looked at the clock radio on my night stand. Three thirty in the morning, it said. Andy lay next to me snoring softly. I looked at him lying there beside me, and found it hard to believe that he was really here. I had tried to read Andy's mind while we were embraced, but failed. I did not know anything more about what Andy really thought or felt, other than what he had told me. I couldn't use my powers with him at all, it seemed. I would have to take things on faith and trust. Slowly I realized what I had to do. Carefully, I climbed out of the bed. Noiselessly I made my way down the hall and into the living room. Alone in the dark where no one could see me, I did something I had not done in a very, very long time. I got down on my knees and prayed. I prayed to God, to thank him for bringing Andy into my life. I asked him to keep Andy safe, for Andy's sake as well as mine. I asked God to help me. And do you know what? I received an answer. Because after I said my prayer, for the first time in my life.....I felt whole, complete and loved. I felt Andy's love for me, and my love for him, but more important than that, I felt filled with the infinite love of an infinite benevolent being.

I crept back into my bedroom, soundlessly climbed back into the bed, and lay next to Andy. I kissed him softly on the cheek. "I love you, you know," I whispered to him. Andy let out a long deep sigh. I snuggled up close to him, and let myself drift off to sleep. My last thought as sleep overcame me, was that we would face the future together.

T H E E N D