All Comments on 'The Dark One: Prologue'

by DivineDestiny

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  • 15 Comments
Bert_FeggBert_Feggover 10 years ago
Promising :)

Looking forward to the next installment....

angelicbeautyangelicbeautyover 10 years ago

Very good. I love the prologue and the endinnf. Very well put together.

ariesgirlariesgirlover 10 years ago

A few errors here and there. This was not bad.

AnonymousAnonymousover 10 years ago
constructive editing

As you requested:

Executor s/b executioner

I didn't mean I hurt him s/b I didn't mean to hurt him

abominations s/b abomination's

That takes care of the first two paragraphs. You have a lot of talent as a writer. All writers need an editor because you simply cannot find all your own errors. Good start.

blastwizardblastwizardover 10 years ago
Yeah there are errors BUT ....

Your story is set. There is more than just some promise here. After reading this 1 chapter, a reader is vested. We want to know this journey...., and I think there is a BIG FAT LiE in this so called situation that Michael did not reveal. Lol

I agree with the other readers comment , all writers need an editor, but your imagination and story telling have planted a seed that has taken root. I look forward to reading about Tierran's journey. Who knows maybe it's not about him at all. Hmmmm - funny how things that we were born to is by someone else's say so. Very intriguing :-)

feistyphoenixfeistyphoenixover 10 years ago
GREAT!

This was great, unfortunately I read it on my smart phone and when I went to rate it a 5 I fat fingered a 4. Forgive me my friend! lol

I am totally interested in where this story goes, you did a great job setting it all up and giving the characters life. Looking forward to the next part of the story, and make it longer! I need more info!!! lol

AnonymousAnonymousover 10 years ago
Nicely done

An editor will help with the smartphonitis -and get to see the next instalment earlier!

DivineDestinyDivineDestinyover 10 years agoAuthor
Thank you for all the feedback!

GrandTeton has graciously agreed to be my editor, so the next chapters should be better ;) when I get the chance, I'll edit this and clean it up. *whips out a can of typos-be-gone*

AnonymousAnonymousover 10 years ago
Love it!!

Love the story! I'm berry verry interested in seeing what you come up with!

Going to definitely gunna favorite this page.

DivineDestinyDivineDestinyover 10 years agoAuthor
Edited version coming soon!

Thanks to your help, I've found all the major typos and have submitted a new and improved edited version! You may want to reread it for a few of the added details and touches. Nothing major, just some atmosphere and imagery offered that wasn't there previously.

My temperamental laptop seems to be working again, so I am trying to crank out Chapter 1 as fast as humanly possible, and I promise there won't be the massive amount of typos in it!

Please keep leaving feedback, I'll be starting a thread once the edited version is up for your questions, comments, and concerns!

AnonymousAnonymousover 9 years ago

when is the next chapter coming out??

AnonymousAnonymousover 9 years ago

will you be finishing this story?

DivineDestinyDivineDestinyabout 9 years agoAuthor
I'm back!

Well, more than a year later, I've returned. I feel rather bad about that, my life got very busy and I snagged an amazing but demanding internship. Now that things have settled down a little in my personal life, I have every intention of finishing this storyline -- and writing more. This post will be edited a little bit, but the first chapter will be published very soon. I plan on submitting chapters biweekly, at the very least.

Thank you all for your kind comments,

DivineDestiny

AnonymousAnonymousabout 7 years ago
No more

This wonderful tale. Then nothing. How could you.

AveRoseAveRosealmost 7 years ago
The Curse of Literotica Strikes Again!...

WHERE'S CHAPTER 2???

There are not many good stories on here but once you come across one, they are usually always abandoned.

Anonymous
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