All Comments on 'The Date'

I enjoy all your stories

You might look look at the usage of the words "to, too, two" and " there, their, they're"

Two ladies went to the store too.

They're going over there with their things.

Ok??

Poor grammar, sick plot, stupid development.....What more could one ask for.

Please, no more!

This sucked! It was way too contrived, rushed and obvious. First, she was unconscious, not dead. Therefore, her body was limp, not lifeless. Second, where the hell did Anderson come from? Sure, he was a cop but so what? There was no indication he was on the killer’s trail. He just shows up out of nowhere just in time because daddy called him? Rather convenient that he just happened to be in the area.

And why did daddy call him? What made daddy think Anderson should be involved at all? So the killer was a sleaze. So what? There was no indication in his discourse with daddy that he was the mangler. If there had been, there’s no way in hell daddy would’ve let him leave with his baby girl.

Proper grammar is “Tina and me” or “me and Tina”, not “Tina and I”. Or, you could’ve just said, “they took us to the hospital.”

And it was rather convenient that daddy and mom had a fight and daddy threw mom out never to return. That’s waaaay too contrived.

And your use of commas is atrocious! Learn how to use them and where to place them.

Overall, this was very disappointing. I couldn’t even get to the sex part of the story, it was so poorly written. 1 star.