All Comments on 'The Date'

What a marvellous story to show us what you can do, phistasy -- this was a delight to read. Welcome, new author, and please bring us more lovely stories like this one. Very well done -- five stars and favourited.

Thank you for the comment FASFan. That's very kind of you to say. I re-read the story and feel act 1 is a bit clunky, I don't like that I used certain adjectives too much or repeated myself in a few key places, I'll be sure to do a better job next time :)

Nice first story. Your on comment is good to read as it can be difficult to 'see' one's own work after all the effort put into it.

This POV is so very tricky. Many readers balk at seemingly being placed into a story by use of the second person 'you.' Guys tend to really have trouble reading a female 'you' story. I'm female. Here, I felt more removed than usual. I couldn't be the typical voyeur of third person, yet felt even the 'you' in the story felt detached from what she was experiencing. (Hope that makes sense.) I did like the story, I just wanted you to know how pov impacts.

Hi Anon. So I wrote this specifically for someone I know, she being the main character. I did not originally intend it to be used for public consumption, but she urged me to do so. That said, I see the role of the reader as a voyeur, a very specific type. Such that the reader is an observer as the narrator speaks directly to the subject, the "you". Following that idea, the reader is not now, nor ever to have taken on the role of "you" - doing so is next to impossible for a male reader, as it is also difficult for a female reader who does not have similar sexual tastes as the subject