All Comments on 'The de Winter's Tale'

very smooth.

Thank you

HP

It was an interesting choice for you to have the main thrust of the story's romance take place away from the character whose point of view we started off with. While I did mostly like the read, I'm not sure I completely liked the result of that choice.

I greatly appreciated the twist, of the romance not involving the studly, young main character. It's nice to read stories involving older people, and physically-challenged ones as well. Not everyone is a 20-something cover model, and stories like this give hope to those who are not!

Thank you for comments. If you have read my story, please consider leaving a comment.

I do like to write with a twist in my tale, however I know that going against the grain of e.g. the classic pool boy story can be unsettling for readers. GriffyD, your comment helpfully confirms that for me; I should think about whether I overdid it in this one.

Although, kind Anonymous commentator, I did hit the spot for you, which is good to hear :)

Personally, I like it about this story that both main characters get to progress. The young man comes to a better understanding about what he wants in life, however the older woman also comes to a better acceptance of her sexuality. You're never too old to enjoy yourself in my opinion!

... of your mind. And what a wonderful place to have a swim.

All in all I really enjoyed it. The character of the young writer hits home, even for not so young writers. I loved the inclusion of a character that is wheelchair bound. And that the main focus was not on the young stud, as has been mentioned, but on him and his wife. perfect for romance. Delightful.

Critique: I saw only one thing in the whole story that caught my eye as being a bit of a problem, and it's minor.

You in one paragraph described Jeff summers as frail, weak chested rheumy eyed. Then you, in a couple of paragraphs, described him as being able to force Cami-knicker's legs open if he wished.

Even with the added description of his wheel chair helping to keep his hand strength strong that struck me as ... odd. In conflict with the previous description of him.

Like I said only thing i saw.

Wonderful story with true to life characters. Well deserving of * * * * *

MST

I really enjoyed reading this. It left me wanting more of Jeff and Camille, in a good way. You accomplished much with a few, tight little descriptions. Yum.

Aww, thanks for the great feedback, guys!

MST - you are right, that's something that Ogg mentioned to me. I tried to tidy it up but it still needs more work. I wanted to show that although a great body is fun, sex is about imagination. I let myself down on that by giving Jeff that upper body physical strength.

There are times when I need a really modern dictionary. . . .

This is one example.

But it's a nice story.

HP

Well written and great characterization. The ending is supposed to be a twist, right? If so, I don't get it.

Seriously, LOL. It's so cool it isn't even in the online dictionaries yet! It comes from 'bae-by', as in 'this thing is so cute it is like my baby'. On Ogg's advice I slipped in that bit where Carl's girlfriend says 'cool ... I mean bae' so people who haven't got the benefit of teenagers in the house would understand it.

Thank you for saying my story is 'well-written', the positive feedback is most welcome. I've worked very hard on my writing over the last few years and am so glad to hear that's paid off.

The first twist was that Mrs. Somers is in fact Dr. de Winter, and then that she is not interested in Carl's fit young bod, but prefers the rampant imagination of ... *gasp* her own husband! Maybe there is a slight twist at the end when we see that Carl actually has met someone he is seriously interested in. We can imagine him becoming a bit like Jeff Somers later in life - with his own beautiful wife who will be a real companion to him. It's likely that if you are a smart reader you will have picked up clues early on, so the twists might not take you by surprise. :)