All Comments on 'The Deal Ch. 05'

one of the best stories yet!!!!

lots of fun being had but nowhere near any incest yet. Will we get there eventually?

I love how they are slowly dropping their barriers (especially Mom) and they don't even realize it. Where is the line? :) Can't wait to see!

5* series...

I loved all 5 stories, I can't wait to see how things develop

First anon - wow thanks for reading and commenting right out of the gate! Appreciate it as well as your very kind words. I hope you continue to enjoy the series.

second anon - thank you very much for the kind words. It is a very fun path the characters are taking us all on (me too!)- I hope you continue to enjoy the stories.

It is quite the tease. Again being true to my characters, at this point neither have any plans or thoughts of incest. As a writer at this point in the series I was having an incredible time getting into Diana's and Matt's heads and what was motivating them and why they were doing the things that they did. I for one would never, ever had the restraint that Matt has - I would have jumped Diana by now, but I am not Matt.

I remember when I was wrestling with the thoughts of the tease or the pay-off so to speak I kept remembering the fun of the tease from the Bruce Willis/Cybill Shepherd series "Moonlighting" and was trying to keep that level of anticipation.

Again, thanks for the comments and I look forward to your future words.

Thanks for the great comments. They really do have no idea and that was what gave me the most fun as a writer - trying to get a grip on logically where were their heads and why. The deal started with three simple rules and look where we are already. As Diana develops we (myself included) learn a lot about who she was and who she became after her husband's death and how now the two personalities are seriously wrestling inside her head for dominance.

Thanks again - I thoroughly enjoy your (and others) weekly comments and always look forward to them.

But like you said. I don't know how Matt can resist touching her.

You're clearly an amatuer write in your spare time person. Your stories promise a deep plot but fail to deliver and are quite frustrating because they lack depth. One or two paragraphs no matter how long do not count. I've read a comment by one reader that told you he'll not reading anymore because they're so short. Your response was i like short stories. Which is a tactful way of admirring a lack of creativity. Writers take into consideration the targeted audience.

You know - 'quantity dictates quality' has never been a conversation I've ever had with any of my publishers or editors. I absolutely can agree that length, either plus or minus, has a huge sway in reader preferences and as you've mentioned I prefer reading shorter erotica - when I read non erotic then I like it longer. Another thing I'm very aware of is I was/am writing this episodically. Traditionally, before writing this I was very much an outline/plot planner - I knew the beginning, end and all major points in between before I started typing - but for a NaNoWriMo a year or two before I started writing this I wrote in an episodic manner and had a lot fun with it. When the Deal first hit me, and I decided to branch out into erotic writing I let it be loose and episodic - letting the story take me wherever it wanted to go. I've had a blast with no regrets.

As long as you can keep it erotic, then I don't mind the short episodic chapters. My only problem is with the ass to mouth after anal sex. Even in a fantasy one has to be aware of the hygiene risks that this poses -- especially with concern to e-coli (which can be very deadly). Well, that's my two cents worth.

u are building the story u really nicely so far well done.

What an incredible...slow...addictive...build up!

How long before Matt offers to take Dave's place at home.

I know Mom misses Dave's cock in her holes

Thank you for your great and very important critique (and two cents!) You are absolutely right, as a fiction writer I take HUGE liberties with reality. Your warning is very well placed and highly accurate.

Thank you again for bringing this forward - I hope readers read it before trying anything.

Thanks

Hey PrinceLuke - thank you very much. I am very happy with the pacing to the series. It can be very teasy but there are pay offs. So glad you enjoy it.

Hiya arrowglass: up to "inferno" - love it. Thank you very much. I hope the series keeps you boiling!

Hey there prop69. Glad I am having that effect on you. DI and Matt are absolutely close to each other.

Thanks for enjoying!

LF

not for me, sorry

Need more action

That was different but okay. Just one more step toward the promised land.

-bern1965(pending)

The respect that both characters show each other is truly believable. That the son, on his own, realized that he has taken the "deal" to far, demonstrates his maturity and the love he has for his mother. The mother reliving the dares and games she played with her deceased husband further demonstrates her self-confidence, erotic sexuality, and the depth of love for her deceased husband.